Billy Madison - Unexpected Surprise for Old Man Clements
Brian: [to himself]
Oh Billy, Billy boy, when are you going to find whatever it is you're lookin for?
Billy: [goes up to the front porch of the Clements house, puts the bag down, lights it on fire, rings the doorbell, and hides behind the bushes with Jack and Frank; chuckles]
Here's a nice piece of shit! Old man Clements hates shit! He's gonna freak, when he realizes it's shit! Oh my God, Old Man Clements hates shit!
Frank: [snickering]
Shh, here he comes.
Old Man Ted Clements: [from inside; emerges, and sees the flaming bag]
Who the hell is it? What do you want? Judas Priest, Barbara! It's one of those flaming bags again!
Old Woman Barbara Clements: [offscreen]
Don't put it out with your boots, Ted!
Old Man Ted Clements: [stamps out flaming bag, but steps on something. He lifts up his boot and smells; he realizes it's poop]
Don't tell me my business, devil woman! Call the fire department; this one's out of control! Yuck! It's POOP again!
Jack:
He called the shit "poop"!
Frank: [laughs some more]
Oh, my God! This is the best night of my life!
Old Man Ted Clements: [goes back inside the house]
I'll get you damn kids for this! You're all gonna die!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.