Mark Beltzman

Brian: [to himself] Oh Billy, Billy boy, when are you going to find whatever it is you're lookin for?

Billy: [goes up to the front porch of the Clements house, puts the bag down, lights it on fire, rings the doorbell, and hides behind the bushes with Jack and Frank; chuckles] Here's a nice piece of shit! Old man Clements hates shit! He's gonna freak, when he realizes it's shit! Oh my God, Old Man Clements hates shit!

Frank: [snickering] Shh, here he comes.

Old Man Ted Clements: [from inside; emerges, and sees the flaming bag] Who the hell is it? What do you want? Judas Priest, Barbara! It's one of those flaming bags again!

Old Woman Barbara Clements: [offscreen] Don't put it out with your boots, Ted!

Old Man Ted Clements: [stamps out flaming bag, but steps on something. He lifts up his boot and smells; he realizes it's poop] Don't tell me my business, devil woman! Call the fire department; this one's out of control! Yuck! It's POOP again!

Jack: He called the shit "poop"!

Frank: [laughs some more] Oh, my God! This is the best night of my life!

Old Man Ted Clements: [goes back inside the house] I'll get you damn kids for this! You're all gonna die!