Memorable Quotes from Michael Gross
11 quotesPreparedness in the Face of Unknown Threats
Burt Gummer
You know Grady, some people think I'm overprepared, paranoid, maybe even a little crazy. But they never met any Pre-Cambrian lifeforms did they?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Reactions and Empty Threats
Melvin Plug
Burt, you asshole! There's no bullets in this gun!
[discovering the gun Burt gave him is empty]
Burt Gummer
Got you moving, didn't it?
[taking the gun back with a smile]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Burt Gummer Distrusts Sharing Weapons
Burt Gummer
I wouldn't give you a gun if it were World War Three!
[''handing out weapons and refusing to give Melvin one'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Friendly Debate on Night Fishing
Grady Hoover
Jesus! Bagged himself another one.
[referring to Burt]
Earl Bassett
The man never sleeps.
Burt Gummer
Guys, Burt here. Doing a little night fishing. Got three of em on a cluster charge. I'd say we're about even now. Over.
[over radio]
Earl Bassett
Come on, Burt. This isn't a competition.
Burt Gummer
Well, who's competing? I'm just saying the score is tied, that's all. Over.
[over radio]
Grady Hoover
Well, son', no it isn't, cuz we just caught a live one. How bout that.
Burt Gummer
A live one? How in the hell...
[over radio]
Grady Hoover
Well, that's our little secret. Happy hunting, Burt.
[turns radio off]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Burt Gummer Faces Unprecedented Ammo Shortage
Burt Gummer
I am completely out of ammo. That's never happened to me before.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Burt Gummer Questions Absence of Evidence
Burt Gummer
No tracks, no sign, no spoor... you'd think after eating all those sheep they'd have to take a dump some place.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Resourcefulness in Adversity
Burt Gummer
Doing what I can with what I got.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation in the Rec Room
Burt Gummer
Broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn't ya you bastard!
[''Burt Gummer, with his wife Heather at his side, berates the dead monster fought off with their "family arsenal"'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Preparation for Monsters in the Underground
Burt Gummer
Food for five years, a thousand gallons of gas, air filtration, water filtration, Geiger counter. Bomb shelter! (long sigh) ...underground. God damn monsters.
[''Burt Gummer looks at his bomb shelter for perhaps the last time'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Preparation is key in unexpected situations
Burt Gummer
When you need it, and don't have it, you sing a different tune.
[''referring to his weapons''; pause]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Need-to-Know Information Denied
Burt Gummer
I feel I was denied critical need-to-know information.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.