Michael IronsideQuotes

Lieutenant Jean Rasczak: Hold here! Hold what you got!

Lieutenant Jean Rasczak: [opens pod and pulls out a beer keg; everybody cheers. opens another pod with sports gear and music equipment; throws football] Listen up! I expect the best and I give the best. Here's the beer. Here's the entertainment. Have fun. That's an order.

Lieutenant Jean Rasczak: [to Rico at a party] Figuring things out for yourself is the only freedom anyone really has. Use that freedom.

General Ashdown: Losenko?

General Losenko: [calmly] We have destroyed ourselves. Skynet tracked our signal. It led them straight to us.

Dial: Nobody steals a whale.

Wade: (on phone) But I'm telling you the whale is gone. The trailer's out of there, the forklift's been moved. That big–mouthed trainer and that Indian must've done it.

Dial: (sighs) This is a disaster.

Wade: (on phone) Why?

Dial: (angrily) Because we don't have theft insurance on the whale, that's WHY! (Dial checks the time on his watch) Call Wilson. Tell him to bring his crew down.

Dial: God, I hate that whale!

Maverick: [gives Goose a high five] Hard deck my ass. We nailed that son of a bitch.

Iceman: Wow, you guys really are cowboys.

Maverick: [Faces Iceman] What's your problem, Kazanski?

Iceman: [Slams helmet locker's door and faces Maverick] You're everyone's problem. That's because every time you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous.

Maverick: [Iceman makes biting motion] That's right! Ice…man. I am dangerous.

Jester: [Maverick and Goose look at him; leaves locker room] Maverick. You and Goose get your asses outta that flight gear and up to Viper's office now.

Slider: Remember, boys, no points for second place.

Goose: You're a lot brighter than you look—

Slider: Oh, you shut up.

Kuato: Quaid, Quaid...

Benny: Forget it, man, his fortune-telling days are over.

Kuato: [Richter finishes off Kuato with a headshot] Start the reactor...free Mars-

Richter: [pause; calmly, to Quaid] Mr Cohaagen would like to talk to you.

Richter: [upbeat; notices him stoically looking outside] Mr Cohaagen. You wanted to see me, sir?

Cohaagen: [turns around to look at him] Richter, do you know why I'm such a happy person?

Richter: No, sir.

Cohaagen: [rises from his desk and approaches Richter; points finger in Richter's face] Because I've got the greatest job in the solar system. As long as the terbinium keeps flowing, I can do anything I want. Anything! In fact, the only thing I worry about is that, one day, if the rebels win, it all might end. And you're FUCKING MAKING IT HAPPEN! First, you tried to kill Quaid and then you let him get away.

Richter: He had help from our side, sir.

Cohaagen: I know that.

Richter: But, I thought -

Cohaagen: Who told you to THINK? I don't give you enough information to THINK! You do as you're told, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO!

Customs Agent: How long do you plan to spend on Mars, M'aam?

Fat Lady: Two weeks.

Customs Agent: [stamps passport] Have you brought any fruits or vegetables onto the planet?

Fat Lady: Two weeks.

Customs Agent: Excuse me?

Fat Lady: [starts having a seizure, attracting the attention of everyone. Richter, who is on Mars, pays attention to this odd sight] Two weeks..two weeks...

Richter: [low voice; normal] Quaid. That's Quaid!

Captain Everett: What?

Richter: The woman. Get him... her!

Everett: [points to woman] Arrest that woman!

Douglas Quaid: [smiles at one guard and tosses head; guard does catch the head] Catch!

Fat Lady: [Head explodes as Quaid runs past the guard] Get ready for a surprise!