Memorable Quotes from Michael Jeter
10 quotesDesperation Amidst Government Indifference
Paul
We called everyone. We did everything we could; no one would help us. The Costa Rican government said that this is a no-fly zone. The U.S. Embassy — that's our U.S. Embassy — told us we should accept the inevitable. Can you believe that?!!
Billy
You let a 12-year-old go parasailing alone?
Paul
No!!
Amanda
He was not alone; he was with a friend.
Paul
Ben Hildebrand.
Amanda
Paul and I divorced over a year ago.
Dr. Grant
Alright, so why me?
Paul
He said we needed someone who'd been on the island before.
Udesky
Yes, but I did not tell you to kidnap somebody.
Dr. Grant
I have never been on this island.
Paul
Sure you have. You wrote that book.
Billy
That was Isla Nublar. This is Isla Sorna, Site B.
Udesky
You mean that there are two islands with dinosaurs on them?
Paul and Amanda
All right, you just stay out of this!
Dr. Grant
So, how long have they been missing?
Paul
Eight weeks.
Amanda
Almost eight weeks now.
Dr. Grant
Billy, we go back to the plane and salvage what we can. Then we make for the coast.
Paul
Dr. Grant, we're not leaving this island without our son.
Dr. Grant
Then you can go look for him, or you can stick with us as long as you don't hold us up. Either way, you probably won't get off this island alive.
[Exeunt Alan and Billy]
Paul
So...what do we do?
[to Udesky]
Udesky
Well, we search for your son...in the direction that they're going.
Paul
Excellent. Excellent.
[The trio quickly hurry after them]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Custody Dispute Over Dog in Court
Judge Cranfield
By the powers vested in me, I award custody of the dog to Josh Framm. Case closed. Thank God.
Norm Snively
You can't do that! That dog is my dog! I got pictures of my dog!
Judge Cranfield
Will somebody suppress that clown?
Norm Snively
Let me go! I got pictures of my own dog! And kid! kid! Put me down! kid! kid!
Josh Framm
Hey Buddy. You want to play? Yeah! Just like we always do.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perseverance in the Face of Adversity
Father Ignatius
Oh... Remember. Nothing ever is bad as it seems at first. Fight the good fight.
[''Repeatedly'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Communication and Silence in Tense Situations
Udesky
Cooper, if you see anything, yell up.
Cooper
Nah, I thought I'd keep it to myself.
[sarcastically]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disagreement on Expertise in Crisis Situation
Paul
Dr. Grant says that a bad idea.
Amanda
Dr. Grant. Dr. Grant says-
Paul
What's the good of hiring an expert if you're not gonna use his advice?
Amanda
Yeah, except Dr. Grant isn't looking for Eric. He's looking for the coast.
Paul
Okay, fine. Go ahead and scream. And then when that tricycloplots attacks you, don't come crying to me.
Amanda
Don't worry about that.
[muttering]
Paul
What?
Amanda
Nothing.
Paul
What did you say?
Amanda
Never mind
Paul
What did you say?
Amanda
God, Paul, just drop it.
Udesky
If we split up, I'm going with you guys.
[to Billy]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Infirmary Relocation Discussion Among Characters
Paul
Percy, they're moving house in the infirmary. Why don't you go see if they could use some ]?
[After John enters his cell for the first time; [help]
Percy Wetmore
Well, they got all the men they need.
Paul
Why don't you just go and make sure?
Percy
Uh-uh.
Paul
I don't care where you go, Percy, just as long as it's not here at this very moment.
[Percy nods and walks down the Mile; Del grins at him as he walks by, so Percy smacks Del's fingers with a nightstick and makes Del scream in pain]
Eduard Delacroix
], he busted my finger!
[crying; [God]
Percy
I wiped that grin off your shit-poke face, didn't I?!
Paul
Goddamn it, Percy, get the hell off my block!
[Percy looks at him, nods and leaves]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questions About Life and Existence
Patch Adams
Excuse me, Beenie. Which way is heaven Correct. Beenie, how much taller is Wilt Chamberlain than you?
[due to Beenie's catatonic state, his hand is raised; everyone laughs (except Dr. Prack); patients laugh]
Rudy
Hey, Beenie, Beenie, Beenie. Where's the ceiling?
Bile
Where do the birds fly, Beenie?
Patch Adams
How do you say hello to Hitler?
Other patient
Beenie, Beenie. How does Hitler say hello?
Patch Adams
Beenie, how do you check an elephant for a hernia? Who can win a staring contest? Beenie!!
[patients laugh; points to Beenie]
Rudy
Who... who farted?
Patch Adams
Who likes to masturbate? Beenie, how does a one-armed referee say, "Field goal?
[all patients and "Patch" raise their hands]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration at Birthday Parties and Responsibilities
Norm Snively
Would it be okay if I get a couple of references? Come on, get up here! I warned you! You had your chance, you flea-bitten mongrel! You're going to the pound! Do you hear me?! You're going to the pound! I hate birthday parties! I hate kids! I hate being a clown! I can't stand birthday cakes!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Clown's Search for His Dog
Norm Snively
Oh, hey. Sorry to disturb you. Name's Norm Snively. I believe you've got my dog.
Jackie Framm
Huh, what?
Norm Snively
My dog. You know, Old... Old... Old Blue. Uh, here. There's a picture of him. That's him and me. You see, I'm a clown by profession.
Jackie Framm
Umm...
Norm Snively
Maybe you would like to see his papers.
Jackie Framm
Oh... Uh...
[gasps as soon as Josh comes back home]
Jackie Framm
Josh.
Josh Framm
NO!!
Norm Snively
Blue, yes. Now you're coming home with Daddy.
Josh Framm
NO!! YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM!!
Jackie Framm
Josh, honey, honey! Josh, there is nothing that we can do. He's got papers.
Josh Framm
HE’S MY DOG!!
Jackie Framm
Please, sir, could we pay you?
Norm Snively
Look, lady, I just want my dog back, okay?
Josh Framm
HE HATES YOU!! HE HATES YOU!!
Jackie Framm
Baby, it's okay.
Norm Snively
I'll tell you what, kid. On your next birthday, me and the dog, we'll come out. We'll do a show for you, cheap.
Jackie Framm
It's okay. It's okay. Baby, it's okay. Josh! Please, just talk to me! Please wait!
Norm Snively
A beer commercial? No, I don't want my dog to do beer commercials.
Josh Framm
Psst, Buddy.
Norm Snively
Look, what do you think I am anyway? I got... I'm... I got... Look, I got ethics.
Josh Framm
Buddy.
Norm Snively
Just for curiosity's sake, though, what are we talking about for one of those beer commercials? Would you shut up out there! What's that? We're talking about how much?
Josh Framm
Hey, Buddy.
Norm Snively
Oh, that kind of blows ethics right out of the water, doesn't it? I mean, hey, he's just a dog. What does he know? No, April's not good for us. We're booked on a tour. Wait! Is that Oprah woman... Oprah, you know, the Oprah woman... Does she like dogs? I'd love to do Jay Leno. Hey! Get back here with my dog!
Josh Framm
Buddy, come on. Run!
Norm Snively
You little darned kid! That's my dog!
Josh Framm
Go, Buddy!
Norm Snively
I got you, kid!
Josh Framm
Go, Buddy, go!
Norm Snively
Hey! Get out of my way! Hey! You can't run fast enough! I needed that! Hey! I'm gonna get you, you little...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Dog's Loyalty Amidst Family Conflict
Jackie Framm
That's my son!
Larry Willingham
Water boy! Nice shot.
Norm Snively
I'll take my dog back now.
Josh Framm
He doesn't wanna go with you.
Jackie Framm
What's the problem?
Norm Snively
There's no problem, Mrs. Framm. Your son's had his little fun. Now I think it's time to give me back what is rightfully mine.
Jackie Framm
You know what, Mr. Snively, I believe my son is right. That dog doesn't like you. So the answer is no.
Norm Snively
You don't have any choice, lady. I got papers. I'll see you in court!
[chuckling]
Bailiff
Next case, Snively vs. Framm.
Judge Cranfield
Is this one of your high-profile divorce cases?
Bailiff
No, sir, it's custody.
Judge Cranfield
Oh, custody. Holy Toledo, what is that dog doing in the courthouse?
Bailiff
That's the, uh, child, sir.
Judge Cranfield
That's a pretty ugly kid.
Bailiff
It's a dog.
Judge Cranfield
What?
Bailiff
The case is about custody of a dog.
Judge Cranfield
All right, I'll take it, but we have to do this seriously. I will not have my courtroom turned into some kind of a circus. Who the hell are you?
Norm Snively
Mr. Norman F. Snively, your honor. I'm the plaintiff.
Judge Cranfield
You look like an idiot.
Norm Snively
Why, thank you, sir. You see, I'm a clown by profession. Happy Slappy's the name. Clown and the Hound. And begging to your humblest pardon, I thought it might be helpful to your honor if I appeared here today in the guise most pertinent to the cogent and unequivocal stating of my case.
Judge Cranfield
Whatever, whatever. You go first, clown.
Norm Snively
Well, the fact is, your honor, that dog's my property, and I have papers to prove it.
Judge Cranfield
Well, would you show them to me, please?
Norm Snively
Well, actually, your honor, I had papers to prove it. But that boy, that young hooligan, because of his irresponsible and criminal activity, is responsible for what you see.
Judge Cranfield
Order!
Norm Snively
You see, sir, when I lost my dog for the first time, it broke me up real bad. When I lost him the second time, it darn near killed me. Hell's bells, your honor, all I wanna do is get Old Blue back. So it can be him and me together, just like it always was.
Josh Framm
Why, so you can abuse him some more?
Judge Cranfield
That will be enough, young man.
Norm Snively
I raised that dog from a puppy. I wouldn't harm a hair on his head!
Judge Cranfield
Bailiff, what is that?
Bailiff
The dog, your honor.
Judge Cranfield
Oh. Order! Quiet!
Josh Framm
It's the gavel, sir.
Judge Cranfield
What? Speak up! Bailiff!
Bailiff
You said speak.
Judge Cranfield
Speak! Will somebody please suppress that dog?
Norm Snively & Josh Framm
Shh!
Judge Cranfield
Oh, what a day. What a day. Now then, young man, have you any evidence that this man abused your dog? Did you ever see him hit the dog?
Josh Framm
Well, no.
Judge Cranfield
Then how did you know the dog was abused?
Josh Framm
Because Buddy doesn't like him. Buddy's my friend. I know what he's feeling, so he knows what I'm feeling.
Jackie Framm
He's telling the truth, your honor.
Judge Cranfield
Who's that?
Bailiff
The boy's mother.
Judge Cranfield
Oh, it's all right, you may sp... You may address the court.
Jackie Framm
When we first moved to this town, my son was very unhappy. And then he found Buddy here. And Buddy's given him something to look forward to. Please, please, don't take Buddy away from my son.
Judge Cranfield
Mrs. Framm, as far as this court is concerned, the dog is property unless you have evidence...
Jackie Framm
All of these people did not come here because of a piece of property, your honor. They came here because of Buddy. He's part of this town. He's part of the team, and he's part of our family now, your honor.
Norm Snively
Well, he's part of my family too! He's like a son to me! Aw, shut up!
Arthur Chaney
Why not let the dog choose, your honor? They say a dog is man's best friend. If that's the case, shouldn't the dog be able to choose who he wants to be friends with?
Judge Cranfield
Who are you, Barnum or Bailey?
Arthur Chaney
Arthur Chaney, your honor.
Judge Cranfield
Mr. Chaney, do you reali... Arthur Chaney? New York Knicks, 56? Huh. I was at that Celtics game where you did the turnaround jumper at the buzzer. I spilled beer all over my wife.
Bailiff
Your honor.
Judge Cranfield
What? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Mr. Chaney.
Arthur Chaney
Well, I've been thinking. This dog is what, three, four years old. That makes him an adult in our years. I say let Buddy decide.
Judge Cranfield
Mr. Chaney, during my 40 years on the bench, I have heard a lot of lamebrain cockamamie proposals, but this one I like.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.