Memorable Quotes from Michael Mastro
1 quoteFashion and Dining Etiquette in Conversation
Fiona
Oh, my God! Oh, Charlie, this is fabulous!
Michael
Mimi, get down.
Charlotte
When I saw the shoulders on this gown, I plotzed. I said to myself, "Fiona, this, this is the future of fashion.
[referring to sketches]
Michael
Oh, no. Remember what I told ya? Forks go on the left side. This side. Small fork on the outside. Take your Knife, put it over next to the spoon. The blade-- Blade in. Perfect. Yeah. Might wanna work on that one too.
Mimi
In Lipo Lipo, we eat with hands.
Michael
In New York, New York, we eat with forks.
Mimi
When are we gonna eat? I'm famished.
[snorts]
Charlotte
A little champagne? Gino, why don't you show her the bridesmaids sketches?
Fiona
Show me, show me, show me, show me. Oh, I'm loving this. Ah!
[sniffs]
Charlotte
What is taking so long with the food?
Michael
I'll give them a call.
Fiona
I don't eat meat, I don't eat dairy or nightshade vegetables, and, of course, I don't touch ].
[[w:Preservative|preservatives]
Michael
Obviously. Mmh!
[under his breath; Charlotte kicks him]
Mimi
Cat fat.
[to Fiona]
Fiona
Mm-hmm.
Mimi
We eat cat.
Fiona
Excuse me?
[doorbell rings]
Patricia
That must be the food.
Fiona
Oh! Finally.
Patricia
Gino, Louis.
Gino
Coming.
Patricia
We are not going to eat the cat.
[slowly picks up the Coco]
Mimi
Cat's job, feed people.
Michael
No, not here. Here, cat's job is to sleep and lick crotch.
Fiona
Oh, Charlie, it smells so good! I can't stand it! Of course, this is much too much for me. Did they forget my tiramisu? Oh, God!
[they arrive in kitchen and Mimi is squatting on table eating cat food; gasps in shock]
Mimi
This much tasty. Your female makes good food, Baboon.
Louis
Ohh!
[faints again]
Gino
Oh, Louis, you are such a cliché.
[to Louis]
Charlotte
You had no right to change the rules.
Michael
What rules?
Charlotte
When we talked about having children, we agreed that you would be my child and that I would be your child, and now I find out that you've had a child all along.
Michael
Wait a second. Are you saying that I knew that I had a child?
Charlotte
Well, if I had a child, I certainly would have known.
Michael
Hello! You're a woman. Of course you'd know. You're there when you have it. Look, there's no magical bond between a father and son that spans the continents. The only reason I know I have a child is because you insisted I go down to the Amazon to finalize the divorce.
Charlotte
Oh, so, now you're saying that you having a child is my fault? I don't think so, Michael.
Michael
Mimi's just visiting. I wanna show him a good time. After that, he goes back home, and we can go back to being the way we were. Entirely wrapped up in ourselves.
Charlotte
Promise?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.