Kicking & Screaming - Juice Box Dispute Among Coaches
Mike Ditka:
Hey, Phil, I-I-I don't think that's a very good attitude. You can't talk about hurting other players.
Phil Weston:
You don't think? Ya don't think? Well, I don't think you should be buttin in when I'm talkin to my team. You're my assistant, okay? You're supposed to back me up and go get me juice boxes when I tell ya. Now go get me a juice box.
Mike Ditka:
YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKIN TO?
Phil Weston:
I'm talkin to the juice box guy.
Mike Ditka:
You're crazy!
Phil Weston:
I'm not crazy, I'm just thirsty.
Mike Ditka:
WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL?!
Phil Weston:
No, you go to Hell! And while you're there, why don't you grab me a juice box?!
Mike Ditka:
I'M NO JUICE BOX BOY, I'LL TELL YOU THAT!
Phil Weston:
Yes, you are!
Mike Ditka:
No, I'm not!
Phil Weston:
Yes, you are!
Mike Ditka:
No, I'm not!
Phil Weston:
Yes, you are!
Mike Ditka:
No, I'm not! You're like your old man!
Phil Weston:
I'M NOT LIKE MY OLD MAN!
Mike Ditka:
If it weren't for these kids, I would whip your butt!
Phil Weston:
I CAN TAKE A PUNCH!
Mike Ditka: [walks back to the parking lot]
I'm out of here. Bye-bye. I'll see you, Mr. Big Time Coach. Bye-bye!
Phil Weston: [The kids and parents all waive as Ditka drives off]
I'M NOT LIKE MY OLD MAN! I'M A KIND AND GENTLE, COMPASSIONATE HUMAN BEING, WITH A HEART AS BIG AS A LION! WE'LL SEE YOU LATER, JUICE BOX! Everyone wave goodbye to Juice Box. Literally wave! Do it! Parents, too! Everyone waves!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Kicking & Screaming - Strategic Focus on Italian Players
Mike Ditka:
New game plan - get the ball to the I-talians!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Kicking & Screaming - Winning Over Appreciation in Soccer
The Generals: [winning team, shouting]
Two, four, six, eight! Who do we appreciate?
Mike Ditka:
Hey! Shut up, ya little rats!
Phil Weston:
They're just showing their appreciation.
Mike Ditka: [throws down his clipboard and walks off]
Hey. forget the appreciation! I wanna win a soccer game!
Parent:
Can I have this?
Phil Weston:
Sure.
Parent:
Alright!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Kicking & Screaming - Coaching Styles and Personal Identity
Phil Weston: [to Barbara]
My dad, he's a coach. He knows the game. He's confident, he's smart, witty, dynamic, vicious, brutal, vindictive, a monster! And he will win by intimidation and forceful tactics if need be. I'm not like that. In fact, I don't know anyone like that. Do you?
Mike Ditka:
So Paul, what's on your mind?
Phil Weston:
Actually, it's Phil.
Ditka:
You mean it's not Paul?
Phil Weston:
No.
Ditka: [lights a cigar]
What's the difference? Come on, spit it out.
Phil Weston:
Uh, here it is--
Diana Ditka:
Mike?
Ditka: [gives cigar to Phil]
Hold this.
Ditka:
Oh no! No, no! We do not allow smoking in the house!
Phil Weston:
I'm sorry, Mrs. Ditka.
Ditka: [takes back the cigar]
I'll get rid of it, honey.
Phil:
Anyway I'm coaching my son's soccer team and I didn't know if you'd be willing to help.
Ditka: [in disbelief]
Soccer?
Phil:
Actually I want you to, uh, assistant coach.
Ditka: [chuckling]
Your assistant coach? You really don't know who I am, do you?
Phil:
You're right, silly idea. It's just- I just need some help and you're such a great coach, my dad's gonna be riding me all season--
Ditka:
Whoa-ho-ho-ho, your dad? You mean I get to coach against your dad?
Phil:
Well, yeah.
Diana:
Mike, I smell smoke!
Ditka:
Nobody's smoking!
Diana:
Mike!
Ditka: [to Phil]
For Pete's sake! So, like, it's me and you against your old man?
Phil:
I mean there are other teams--
Diana:
Got ya!
Ditka: [to Phil, pointing the cigar at him]
No smoking means no smoking!
Diana:
Okay, come on, Phil!
Ditka:
I'll throw this out the window, honey.
Phil:
I'm sorry Mrs. Di- I'm sorry.
Diana: [leaves again]
You should be.
Phil:
It's a nasty, filthy habit.
Ditka: [to Phil]
Hey, you can count me in!
Phil:
Really?
Ditka:
Let's bring your old man down!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.