Superstar - Unexpected Conversations About Family Tragedies
Mary Katherine Gallagher:
So what really happened to your parents?
Slater:
They were savagely ripped apart and eaten by a school of hammerhead sharks.
Mary Katherine Gallagher:
That happens a lot.
Father Ritley:
Mary Katherine, what was that horrible thing you said to Sister Eileen?
Mary Katherine Gallagher:
I told her to move her big white butt or I would cold cock her honky ass.
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Superstar - Exploring the Nature of Divine Encounters
Mary Katherine Gallagher:
Oh, my God!
Jesus:
Oh, my me, how are you?
Mary Katherine Gallagher:
It's going OK. Are you the Lord?
Jesus:
Well, to you, I am. See, technically, you're like in this REM sleep state, and I'm a mixture of your mind's images of God, some past authority figures, uh, Sky/sky, and your dad. Basically, your subconscious came up with me to help you deal. Dig?
Mary Katherine Gallagher:
Yeah... uh, you want a glass of water or something?
Jesus:
No, I'm good. I'm God!
Mary Katherine Gallagher:
Oh. Right.
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Superstar - Telekinesis and Revenge at the Prom
Grandma Gallagher:
Mary Katherine, what are you doing?
Mary Katherine Gallagher:
I'm using my telekineses to kill the girl who poured pigs blood on me at the prom.
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Superstar - Self-Reflection in a Bottle
Mary Katherine Gallagher: [to Evian]
Go drink a bottle of yourself!
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Superstar - Comment on a birthmark's appearance
Mary Katherine Gallagher:
Your birthmark looks like shit!
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Superstar - A Threat Inspired by Telekinesis
Mary Katherine Gallagher: [to Evian]
If I was Sissy Spacek in the movie Carrie, I'm gonna use my telekinesis to KILL you!
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Superstar - A Humorous Take on Unusual Names
Mary Katherine Gallagher: [to Evian]
Well, you should be embarrassed because your parents named you after bottled water!
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Superstar - Nervous Habits and Unusual Comforts
Mary Katherine Gallagher:
Sometimes, when I get nervous, I stick my hands under my armpits and then I smell them like this!
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Superstar - Resilience and Reversal in Conflict
Mary Katherine Gallagher:
Are you aware that I am rubber/glutter, and you are glue, and whatever you say to me bounces off, of me, and sticks to you? So put that in your, back pocket.
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Superstar - Body Image and Support Needs
Mary Katherine Gallagher:
These are my BREASTS. They're so BIG. I need a BRA to strap them and support because they're so HUGE they need to be hooked and strapped for support. My big boobs, this one is bigger than this one cause is the mommy and that's the baby, and this one is very nice to this one and they hold hands because they're FRIENDS, okay?
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Superstar - Expression of Unwavering Enthusiasm
Mary Katherine Gallagher:
SUPERSTAR!
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Wet Hot American Summer - Wedding Invitation and Allergy Humor
Gail:
I hope you like shrimp cocktail, because I want you to be guests of honor at our wedding next week!
Beth:
Well, I hope it's not jumbo shrimp, because I'm allergic to oxymorons!
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Evan Almighty - Unexpected Flood Causes Confusion and Humor
Reporter:
Its September 22 and no flood. Awkward!
Eve Adams:
What do you mean there's water damage? It rained for ten minutes! That's impossi... (sees the Ark riding the flood by while one of her signs drops on her car)
Rita Daniels:
(after seeing the flood) Ladies first!
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Serendipity - Fashion Faux Pas and Creative Solutions
Eve:
Prada! Ooh! Prada! I love this stuff!
Salesman:
That's 20 bucks.
Sara:
Eve, that's a horrific knockoff! At least my knockoff says Prada, yours says Prado!
Eve:
Well, I say for a dollar I can buy a magic marker and fix it. I'll take it!
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Serendipity - Debate on New-Age Beliefs and Skepticism
Eve:
Sara, it was a movie poster, it's no big deal.
Sara:
It's peculiar though, right? Don't you think?
Eve:
I thought you were through with all this new-age bullshit, feng-shuey and all that crap.
Sara:
Eve, for someone who owns a new-age store you're incredibly earth-bound
Eve:
Oh yeah, well, for a shrink-in-training, you're a little bit crazy, I'll tell you that much.
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Serendipity - Eve's Take on Golf and Tennis Players
Eve:
You know who plays golf? Guys who are too fat to play tennis, like this guy.
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Serendipity - A suggestion for a new medication.
Eve: [commenting on Sara's craziness]
They should make pills for this.
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The Santa Clause 2 - Support for Ambition in Relationships
Tracy:
You know what, I totally put myself out there doing that. And that was not an easy thing to do, and if you're the kind of man that can't support a woman's ambition, then I don't think there's any reason to continue this date.
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Promising Young Woman - Letting Go of the Past
Mrs. Fisher:
I know you feel bad that you weren't there but you gotta let it go.
Cassandra:
I'm just trying to fix it.
Mrs. Fisher:
Oh, come on. You can't. Don't be a child, Cassie.
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