Tammy - Cultural Misunderstandings at the Dinner Table
Keith Morgan: [sternly]
Tammy, do you know how I got to where I am?
Tammy Banks: [confused]
Sucking dick and kissing ass?
Javier: [knocks on the door]
Excuse me, Keith. We need some more ketchup.
Keith Morgan: [reaches for the jar of ketchup]
Okay. English, though, Javier. This is America.
Tammy Banks:
It was English.
Keith Morgan:
That wasn't English.
Javier: [notices blood on Tammy's face]
Is that blood?
Tammy Banks:
Yeah. A deer hit my car on the way in.
Javier:
Maybe you should go see a doctor.
Tammy Banks:
Yeah. No kidding.
Keith Morgan: [to Tammy as he is fed up with Tammy's tardiness and laziness and fires her]
Okay, thanks, Javier. That's great advice. See you later. Tammy, I'm terminating your employment at Topperjack's.
Tammy Banks: [looks at her badge in shock]
You've gotta be shitting me.
Keith Morgan: [to Tammy in a sterner approach]
No, I'm terminating your employment. And I need your badge.
Tammy Banks: [looks at her badge again]
What ba--? You mean my name tag?!
Keith Morgan:
Yes, exactly. I need your badge back.
Tammy Banks:
It's not a badge. It's a shitty name tag, and you made me buy it with my own money.
Keith Morgan:
That's company policy. I need it back.
Tammy Banks:
Well, I need you to stop sweating through your shirts and grossing everybody out.
Keith Morgan:
It is hot. And when it's hot, people sweat. It's how it is.
Tammy Banks:
Not like that. Not like that.
Keith Morgan:
Well, do you know what?!
Tammy Banks:
That shit's medical!
Keith Morgan: [furious]
I-- LISTEN!! Tammy, you have already been fired. I have already terminated your employment. You are at least 40 seconds fired, so please exit the Topperjack's.
Tammy Banks: [gets up from the chair]
Fine. You know what? I'm gonna give you this.
Keith Morgan:
Tammy.
Tammy Banks:
I got it right here.
Keith Morgan:
It's your middle finger.
Tammy Banks: [shows three fingers from her right hand]
No. Poom. Read between the lines.
Keith Morgan:
I knew that you were gonna do it, Tammy. So it's not as good. I get it, Tammy.
Tammy Banks: [makes a little version of the middle finger]
Poom. You get that?
Keith Morgan:
What is that?
Tammy Banks:
A little version of this.
Keith Morgan: [sarcastically]
Hey, don't let a deer hit you on the way out.
Tammy Banks: [frustrated; starts throwing the Topperjack's ketchup packets]
You dick. You know what?! Don't let these ketchup packets get stuck in your gross armpits! You'll have to buy new shirts, you dick!
Keith Morgan: [Tammy shakes her hair in the buns]
Those are Topperjack's supplies. You are no longer an employee of Topperjack's. Oh.
Tammy Banks: [starts taking the Topperjack's burgers]
Yeah, that shit's contaminated now! For overtime due, Keith. Overtime due.
Keith Morgan:
Tammy, just get out.
Tammy Banks:
Enjoy the special sauce.
Keith Morgan:
Do not touch the Tower Deluxe burgers. Those buns are all still good. Just change the hats.
Tammy Banks: [aggressively gets cocky in Keith's face; raises both middle fingers]
Yeah. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Keith Morgan:
I'm calling the police!
Tammy Banks:
Uh, just thought you should know, the meat here is real shitty. Real, real, real shitty. That's the truth!
Keith Morgan:
That's not true.
Tammy Banks: [to a customer]
That's not chicken. I don't know what it is, but it's not bird.
Keith Morgan:
It's 110% chicken.
Tammy Banks:
Bird doesn't come out of squeezy tubes. My gut here, is mostly dick and beef.
Keith Morgan:
She's disgruntled.
Tammy Banks: [fed up with Keith's excuses; throws a Topperjack burger at Keith's arm as payback]
You know what.
Keith Morgan:
OW! My elbow.
Tammy Banks: [leaves the Topperjack's restaurant]
Boom! Later loser!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.