Memorable Quotes from Paul Adelstein
7 quotesA Failed Attempt at Persuasion
Wrigley
Told him it was no go...
[Wheezy Joe has just accidentally shot himself]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings About Hired Assassins Unfold
Miles Massey
I guess, something inside of me died, when I realized that you'd hired a goon to kill me.
Marylin Rexroth
Wait a minute. You hired him to kill me.
Freddy Bender
No. Both of you wait a minute. Nobody hired anyone to kill anyone.
Wrigley
Hear, hear.
Freddy Bender
Apparently, from what I can gather, a burglar broke into your house-
Wrigley
Miles house.
Freddy Bender
Whatever. A burglar broke in intending to loot the place, uh, repented, became despondent over his lifestyle and shot himself.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Cost of Love and Wealth
Wrigley
Why kill the only woman you've ever loved when she's the richer party.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Courtroom Seating and Legal Procedures
Rex Rexroth
Have you sat before her before?
Miles Massey
No. No, the judge sits first. Then we sit.
Rex Rexroth
Well, have you sat after her before?
Wrigley
Sat after her before? You mean, have we argued before her before?
Miles Massey
The judge sits in judgment. The counsel argues before the judge.
Rex Rexroth
So, have you argued before her before?
Wrigley
Before her before, or before she sat before?
Rex Rexroth
Before her before. I said, before her before.
Wrigley
No, you said before she sat before.
Rex Rexroth
I did at first, but...
Miles Massey
Look, don't argue.
Rex Rexroth
I'm not. I'm...
Wrigley
No, you don't argue. We argue.
Miles Massey
Counsel argues.
Wrigley
You appear.
Miles Massey
The judge sits.
Wrigley
Then you sit.
Miles Massey
Or you stand in contempt.
Wrigley
And then we argue.
Miles Massey
The counsel argues.
Rex Rexroth
Which you've done before.
Miles Massey
Which we've done before.
Rex Rexroth
Ah.
Wrigley
But not before her.
Wrigley
Rex, sit!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion About Utensils in Context
Wrigley
What do you think?
Miles Massey
What are they, ladles?
Wrigley
Berry spoons.
Miles Massey
Spoons?
Wrigley
Berry spoons. Everybody has spoons.
Miles Massey
And nobody *needs* berry spoons.
Wrigley
Everybody eats berries.
Miles Massey
Who are you, Pollyanna? Where'd you see em at? A Martha Stewart catalog right next to the silver napkin rings? Stadium seat ass-warmers?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings Over a Simple Salad Order
Wrigley
Uh, I'll just have a, um, salad, please. Um, baby field greens.
Nero's Waitress
What did you call me?
Wrigley
Uh, no, I-I... I-I didn't call you anything.
Nero's Waitress
You want a salad?
Wrigley
Yeah. Do you... Do you have a, uh, green salad?
Nero's Waitress
What the fuck color would it be?
Wrigley
Why are we eating here?
Nero's Waitress
What's his problem?
Miles Massey
Just bring him an iceberg lettuce and a mealy tomato wedge smothered with French Dressing.
Nero's Waitress
And for you?
Miles Massey
Ham sandwich on stale rye bread. Lots of mayo, easy on the ham.
Nero's Waitress
Slaw Cup?
Miles Massey
What the hell.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Value of Home vs. Medical Necessities
Wrigley
Who needs a home when you have a colostomy bag
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.