Paul Rudd Quotes

Wanderlust

Car Trouble Leads to Unexpected Pond Incident

George What happened?

Rodney I took our car over to town, came back around the back road and boom -- cut to: in the pond.

George What exactly happened?

Rodney I took our car to town, came back, boom, cut to: in the pond.

George No don't cut to in the pond, don't cut!

Rodney I'm with you man.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Clueless

Understanding Coolness in Different Universes

Josh Hey! In some parts of the universe, maybe not in ], but in some parts, it's considered cool to know what's going on in the world.

[[w:Contempo Casuals|Contempo Casual]

Cher Thank you, Josh. I so need lessons from you on how to be cool. Tell me that part about ] again?

[[w:Kenny G|Kenny G]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Wanderlust

Intentional Community vs. Stereotypes of Communes

George All these people live here. This is a commune.

Seth We prefer intentional community. We're not a bunch of hippies sitting around playing guitar.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

200 Cigarettes

A New Year's Eve Conversation on Despair

Kevin Look, I'm just gonna go home and kill myself. You want to share a cab?

Lucy So I can pass out and wake up alone on New Year's Day?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

The Persistence of Evil in Halloween

Tommy Doyle When Michael Myers was six years old, he stabbed his sister to death. For years he was locked up in Smith's Grove Sanitarium, but he escaped. And suddenly, Halloween became another word for mayhem. One by one, he killed his entire family, until his nine-year-old niece, Jamie Lloyd, was the only one left alive. Six years ago, Halloween night, Michael and Jamie vanished. Many people believed them dead, but I think that someone hid them away. Someone who keeps Michael, protects him... and tries to control him. And if there's one thing I know, you can't control evil. You can lock it up, you can burn it and bury it and pray that it dies, but it never will. It just rests awhile. You can lock your doors, and say your prayers at night, but the evil's out there... waiting. And maybe... just maybe... it's closer than you think.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

I Love You, Man

Celebrating the Joy of Music and Friendship

Peter Klaven Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon! Slappa de bass mon!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Object of My Affection

Embracing Simplicity in Teaching First Grade

George Hanson I'm simple, that's why I teach first grade.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

200 Cigarettes

Finding Acceptance in Relationships

Lucy You need to find somebody that likes you the way you are.

Kevin And who would possibly like me the way I am?

Lucy I have no idea.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The 40 Year-Old Virgin

Misunderstandings About Sexuality and Celibacy

Cal So you're gay now?

David No, I'm not gay. I'm just celibate.

Cal I think... I mean, that sounds gay. I just want you to know that this is the first conversation...of three conversations that leads to you being gay. There's this, and then in a year it's like, "You know... I'm kind of going to wanna get back out there, but I think I like guys." And then there's the big, "I'm a gay guy now." You're gay for saying that.

David You're gay for saying that.

[smirks]

Cal I'm gay for saying that?

David You know how I know you're gay?

Cal How? How do you know I'm gay?

David Because you macraméd yourself a pair of jean shorts.

Cal You know how I know you're gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women anymore.

David You know how I know you're gay?

Cal How? Cause you're gay? And you can tell who other gay people are?

David You know how I know you're gay?

Cal How?

David You like ]. You know how I know you're gay?

[[w:Coldplay|Coldplay]

Cal How?

David You like the movie ].

[[w:Maid in Manhattan|Maid in Manhattan]

Cal You know how I know you're gay?

David How?

Cal I saw you make a spinach dip in a loaf of sourdough bread once.

David You know how I know you're gay? You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says, "I like it when balls are in my face.

Cal That's gay?

David Goddamn it!

[Gets killed in video game]

Andy You guys... she's picking me up in an hour.

Cal Oh, drag, dude. She's picking you up from here?

Andy Yeah.

Cal That's fucked up, man.

Andy Why? Why?

Cal Seriously. I mean, look at this place, man. You gotta see this through the eyes of a woman, you know? What is she going to think when she comes in here? Look. He's got a billion toys.

Andy So what?

Cal And more video games than a teenaged Asian kid.

Andy It's all right.

Cal Is that the ]'s boss?

[[w:The Six Million Dollar Man|Six Million Dollar Man]

Andy It's Oscar Goldman.

Cal Why do you have that?

Andy That's worth a lot of money. That's much more valuable than ].

[[w:Steve Austin|Steve Austin]

Cal Well, that may be the case. But none of this shit is sexy, okay?

Andy I'm not trying to be sexy, man.

Cal I mean, seriously, ]? You framed an Asia poster? How hard did the people at the frame store laugh... when you brought this in?

[[w:Asia (band)|Asia]

Andy They did not laugh at me.

Cal Know why you're gay? Because you like Asia.

Andy You guys, cool it with the gay. You know, she's on her way over here, okay? First, you relax, okay? Just stop calming me down and tell me what I should do.

Cal Okay, we just take everything that's embarrassing... and we move it out of here. So it doesn't look like you live in ].

[[w:Neverland Ranch|Neverland Ranch]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Knocked Up

Disagreement on Parenting Responsibilities

Debbie We have to help them raise the baby.

Pete Well, no!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

200 Cigarettes

Attraction and Misunderstandings Among Friends

Lucy In the five years we've known each other, have you once even ever considered having sex with me? Apart from tonight. You don't think I'm attracted to you.

Kevin I don't think you're attracted to half the men you sleep with.

Lucy You think I'm a slut!

Kevin What? No.

Lucy Yeah, you think I'm a big slut.

Kevin I don't think you're a slut. A skanky little ho maybe, but never a slut.

Lucy The truth is, you're afraid.

Kevin What? I'm afraid. I'm, yeah, OK, you... I feel so naked right now. I'm totally afraid.

Lucy It is so obvious.

Kevin And so ridiculous.

Lucy Prove it.

Kevin I don't have to prove anything.

Lucy I dare you. Kevin, I dare you to fuck me.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

Scott Lang's Storytime with Children

Scott Lang / Ant-Man * Opening remarks, reading to children a passage from his book.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

News Crew Engages in Comedic Banter

BBC Anchor Wait! Here's a headline for you: "Moronic Yank Wanker-man Gets a Bloody Good Hiding From Newsreader From a Superior Country." For we are the ] News Service!

[[w:BBC|BBC; BBC news team shouts]

Ron Burgundy Oh, not now!

Jack Lime Fall back, fall back.

[To his news team]

Wesley Jackson If y'all gonna get down, then Wesley Jackson and the ] news crew want in!

[[w:MTV|MTV]

Brian Fantana What's "MTV"?

Ron Burgundy I think it's a venereal disease.

Wesley Jackson The most requested video of the day: A new band called "Burgundy sucking chest wound"!

[MTV news team shouts]

Jill Jansen It wouldn't be a battle without Jill Jansen...

Wendy Van Peel And Wendy Van Peel, from Entertainment News.

BBC Anchor Entertainment News is an abomination!

Wendy Van Peel Who are you wearing today? Oh, look, it's your own blood!

Jill Jansen Today's celebrity birthdays: None. Today's celebrity deaths: All you dick-licks!

Brian Fantana I like how they're put together.

Champ Kind I like fighting girls.

Jill Jansen I like to cunt-punt cowboys.

Wendy Van Peel You eat pussy?

Jill Jansen You're gonna.

Scott Riles HEEEEYYY! There's not gonna be any fight without Scott Riles and the incredibly polite Canadian News Team.

[Canada News Team shouts]

Quebec News Anchor What about the French-speaking Quebec News? The real voice of Canada!

Scott Riles Give it a rest, eh?

Champ Kind Give me a break! They can't have news. Nothing happens in Canada!

Scott Riles We're gonna mop the floor with ya! We're gonna put the boots to ya! Sorry.

Quebec News Anchor Sorry. We're gonna gouge yer eyes out, and kick yer head in!

Scott Riles and Quebec News Anchor Sorry!

Brick Tamland ...I like ]!

[[w:Canada Dry|your ginger ale]

Jeff Bullington Jeff Bullington, ], all sports. Tonight's Play of the Day is me, extracting your spine from your dead body!

[[w:ESPN|ESPN]

Brian Fantana Holy shit, there's a lot of news!

Ron Burgundy It's true, the market has become saturated.

History Network Host Hey! The History Network wants in on this. We're news too! Only news told much, much later!

[History Network team shouts]

Ron Burgundy Wait a minute, is that the ghost of ] with you?

[[w:Stonewall Jackson|Stonewall Jackson]

History Network Host Yes, it is. And the mighty ]!

[[w:Minotaur|minotaur]

Jack Lime Eh, I don't know about this, man. The minotaur isn't even history. It's mythology!

Ron Burgundy Hey, let's not downplay the fact that that's the ghost of Stonewall Jackson!

Ghost of Stonewall Jackson May the Lord anoint this hallowed field of battle.

Mack Tannen You guys got room in this battle for an old war horse?

Ron Burgundy Mack Tannen? What are you doing here, you're too old for this!

Mack Tannen Well, you see, there's the thing: When there's an early moon, I almost feel like a stallion again!

Champ Kind He's on our side, right Ron?

Ron Burgundy He's a were-hyena!

Wesley Jackson I'm gonna call ], I got a ]!

[[w:Michael Jackson|Michael Jackson; [w:Michael Jackson's Thriller|video idea]

Ron Burgundy Alright, everyone, listen up! By virtue of being on this battlefield, there is no return! People will die!

Jill Jansen I'm so horny right now.

[Quietly]

Ron Burgundy Some will be disfigured! In some cases, lasting friendships will be made! And as usual: No touching of the hair and face!

Scott Riles C'mon! What do we look like, rookies?

Scott Riles and Quebec News anchor Sorry.

Ron Burgundy When El Trousias, Maiden of the Clouds, blows the battle horn, let the battle begin!

El Trousias I am El Trousias! Hear my sirens song!

[Blows her horn]

Jeff Bullington El Trousias...the juiciest, hmm!

El Trousias ...That means you can start.

[Finishes blowing her horn]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Clueless

Career Choices and Their Consequences

Mel So, Josh, have you given any thought to our little discussion about Corporate Law?

Josh Yeah, you know, but I think I'd really like to check out Environmental Law.

Mel What for? Do you wanna have a miserable, frustrating life?

Cher Oh, Josh will have that no matter what he does.

Mel At least he knows what he wants to do. And he's in a good college. I'd like to see you have a little bit of direction.

Cher I have direction.

Josh Yeah, towards the mall.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Knocked Up

Self-Reflection and Unexpected Realities

Pete Every time when you see yourself you think, how is these monster came here

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Wet Hot American Summer

Disappointment in Unflattering Comparisons

Andy You taste like a burger. I don't like you anymore.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The 40 Year-Old Virgin

Perspective on Love and Immaturity

David If she wants to be some immature little bitch and blow everybody... well, hey, that's love.

[Being bitter about Amy]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

Call for Help in Strange Situations

Gary Grooberson If there's something strange, if there's something weird, who are people gonna call?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Wanderlust

The Impact of Sexual Energy on Well-being

Seth If you want to pick a fight with your sexual chi, it's just going to drive it inwards - and that invites disease, and death.

George Man, not a fan of death.

Almond People treat sex like it's this huge deal with crazy life consequences...

[very, very pregnant]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The 40 Year-Old Virgin

Comparison to Doppler Radar

David It looks like the doppler radar.

[Response to Jay's girlfriend's sonogram video again]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The 40 Year-Old Virgin

The Complex Nature of Love and Loss

David Of course it's horrible. It's suffering...and it's pain, and it's...you know, you lose weight, and then you put back on weight, and then you call them a bunch of times, and you try and email, and then they move or they change their email...but that's just love.

[David and Andy are talking about relationships]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Knocked Up

Comment on Appearance and Style

Pete You look like a cholo dressed up for Easter.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Wet Hot American Summer

Misunderstanding Between Friends About Writing

Lindsay Hey, what'cha writin on?

Andy My gurnal. I write my thoughts in it every day.

Lindsay Oh, you mean a journal?

Andy Yeah, whatever. Guess I'm not all smart like you.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

200 Cigarettes

Compromises in Relationships and Their Consequences

Kevin You let somebody move in with you, you make all these little compromises to smooth things along, and the next thing you know, you're on some macrobiotic diet and you're listening to ].

[[Joni Mitchell]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

Commitment to Protecting Our Community

Gary Grooberson We're the Ghostbusters. We stay and fight for this place.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Knocked Up

Communication in Relationships

Debbie I like "Spider-Man".

[crying]

Pete Okay, then let's go see Spider-Man 3 next week.

Debbie I don't wanna see "Spider-Man". I don't want to have to ask you to ask me. I want you to think of it yourself.

Pete Look, I don't even know what I'm supposed to say to you.

Debbie You think that just because you don't yell, you're not mean? This is mean!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Object of My Affection

A Playful Comparison of Affection

George Hanson Do you ever just want to touch her nose? I mean it's like a Tulip.

Nina Don't start that with her.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Clueless

Celebrity Contributions and Fashion Donations

Josh We might get ] to plant a celebrity tree.

[[Mark Wahlberg|Marky Mark]

Cher How fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants-dropping schedule to plant trees. Josh, why don't you just hire a gardener?

Josh You know, maybe Marky Mark wants to use his popularity for a good cause, make a contribution. In case you've never heard of that, a contribution is the giving of...

Cher Excuse me, but I've donated many expensive Italian outfits to Lucy...

Josh Time... funds...

Cher And as soon as I get my license, I fully intend to brake for animals, and I have contributed many hours to helping two lonely teachers find romance.

Josh Which I'll bet serves your interests more than theirs. You know, if I ever saw you do something that wasn't 90% selfish, I'd die of shock.

Cher Oh, that'd be reason enough for me.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Knocked Up

Marriage Compared to a Long Comedy Show

Pete Marriage is like a freak, unfunny version of ], only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.

[[Everybody Loves Raymond]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Knocked Up

Time Travel Jokes Among Friends

Debbie Hey, I have a great idea. Why don't the two of you go into your time machines and go back in time and each other?

Pete Who needs a time machine?

Ben This is my time machine, man.

[holds up a glass of liquor]

Pete I'm gonna throw you into my DeLorean, gun it to 88.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Clueless

A Discussion on Humanity and Sterilization

Cher I wanna do something good for humanity.

Josh How about sterilization?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Knocked Up

Awkward Conversation About Intimacy and Discomfort

Pete ... So what do you think? Should we have sex tonight?

[after brushing his teeth]

Debbie Ugh... sounds awful... I'm just really constipated. Do you really want to?

Pete Well, not now!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

I Could Never Be Your Woman

Age Inquiry Between Adam and Rosie

Adam I'm 31. How old are you?

Rosie 38.

Rosie I'm not really 38.

Adam Well, how old are you?

Rosie 37.

Adam Okay. Well, I'm 30.

Rosie 40.

Adam 29.

[continues kissing her]

Rosie What!? You're 29? What happened to 30? You're not even in your thirties?

[coming to an abrupt stop]

Adam What happened to 29?

[confused]

Rosie You're not even in your 30s!

Adam Yeah? Well, neither are you.

Wet Hot American Summer

Compliments Between Andy and Lindsay

Andy You French great.

Lindsay You're not so bad yourself, Mr. Man.

The Object of My Affection

Returning to Familiar Terms of Endearment

Dr. Robert Joley Are you okay, honey?

George Hanson How did we get back to the "honey" stage so quickly?

Dr. Robert Joley Maybe we never should have left it.

The 40 Year-Old Virgin

Observation of a supernatural phenomenon

David It looks like a Poltergeist.

[Response to Jay's girlfriend's sonogram video everyone watches in the store]

Wanderlust

Inappropriate Discussion on Monogamy and Sexuality

George This was your idea, George. It's a good idea, right? It's a good idea. Monogamy is sexual slavery. She got an exquisite pussy. Well, how bout my exquisite erection? Huh? Eva, what do you think? Do you like my exquisite erection? Do you like my erection selection? What do you think, Eva? Yeah? You gon take it? You gon take that dick? You gon take that dick? I'm gon pop off a piece of my dick! Oh, yeah, I'm fixins to fuck ya. I'm gon fuck ya. I'm gon get it all up in yo vag. Get it up in yo vag with my dick... with my dick! Gonna put it in with my dick! I gon puts my dick in. I GON PUTS MY DICK IN!

[Talking to himself in a mirror]

Rodney Sup, man. You alright?

George Hey, man. What's up?

I Could Never Be Your Woman

Discussion of Language and Its Meanings

Rosie Putz: Noun - a yokel; a jerk.

[reading a dictionary]

Censor My rabbi consultant says it means "Penis.

Rosie We're allowed to say "Penis.

Censor Yes, you can say "Penis." But this is the bad penis. Like "prick.

Rosie And... what exactly is the "good" penis?

Adam Check it out.

[starts to take unbutton his pants]

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

The Effectiveness of Sex Panther Cologne

Brian Fantana It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good. They've done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

Embracing Fatherhood and Life's Lessons

Scott Lang / Ant-Man I still can't believe it. None of this should have happened. But it did. It's a pretty good world. ]. Do I miss the action? Sometimes. Would I be there when the Avengers need me? Absolutely. I'd never turn my back on them — but right now, the only job I want is being a dad. I love you Cassie — thanks for being my hero — and I'm sorry I missed some birthdays. For the rest of you kids out there — word of advice: Look out for the little guy. Make mistakes. Take chances. For if there's one thing life's taught me: There's always room to grow.

[[Avengers: Endgame|I'm glad we saved it]

Knocked Up

Neighborhood Concerns and Humor About Safety

Debbie Look, here are all the sex offenders in our neighborhood.

Pete Looks like your computer has chicken pox.

Debbie These are sex offenders. They live in our neighborhood.

Pete Well, we'll skip their houses when we go trick-or-treating. What do you want me to do? Form a posse? (to Ben) I got my six shooter. Ya got your lynchin rope?

Debbie If I didn't care about these things, you wouldn't care about anything. Care more.

200 Cigarettes

Cigarettes as Barriers to Connection

Kevin Did you know that cigarettes are a shield against meaningful interaction with people?

Wanderlust

Unexpected Introductions and Observations

Wayne My name's Wayne by the way. I'm a nudist.

George Oh yes, we noticed your penis earlier.

Wayne Touche.

Wanderlust

A Moment of Concern Between Friends

Eva Hey George.

George Hey Eva. I didn't see you there.

Eva You look sad.

George Well...

Eva Everything that's been happening in your life recently, the fact that you're walking on two feet at all, I mean, it's amazing. Seriously, George.

George I've been walking on two feet for most of my adult life.

Eva Oh George, I like you.

George I like you too Eva.

Eva We should make love sometime.

I Love You, Man

Casual Expression of Agreement

Peter Klaven Totally... Totes McGotes.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Brian Fantana's Unique Nickname Revelations

Brian Fantana People call me the Bri-man. I'm the stylish one of the group. I know what you're asking yourself, and the answer is yes, I have a nickname for my penis. It's called the Octagon. But I also nicknamed my testes. My left one is James Westfall, and my right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, you just might get to meet the whole gang.

200 Cigarettes

A Birthday Surprise Unfolds Between Friends

Kevin What's this?

Lucy It's your birthday present, fuckhead. Open it.

Clueless

Driving Differences in America

Josh Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road.

Cher I am. You try driving in platforms.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

Prepare for a wild ride

Gary Grooberson Hold on to your ass!

Wet Hot American Summer

Last Day at Camp Conversations

Katie Well, I just wanna spend some time with you, you know? It's our last day at camp.

Andy My butt itches.

Katie What are you talking about? Hey, we're soulmates, right?

Andy What? Yeah, whatever, if you want... J.J., save me a waffle man!

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

Survivor's Reflection on Childhood Trauma

Tommy Doyle My name's Tommy. I was only eight years old when I saw him. But I was one of the lucky ones. I survived.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

Prepare for Battle Against the Terrifying

Gary Grooberson Suit up. Shoot anything that looks terrifying.

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

Tommy Doyle Prepares for Michael's Return

Tommy Doyle Michael's work isn't done in Haddonfield. And soon, very soon, there come home to kill again. But this time, I'll be ready.

The 40 Year-Old Virgin

Confrontation Over Virginity and Sensitivity

David Andy! Andy, come on, we were just kidding!

Andy Pointless.

David Andy, nobody cares that you're a virgin. Don't be such a baby. They were just having fun. They didn't mean anything.

Andy Get away from me, David.

David Wait a minute.

Andy Stop following me!

David Hold up.

Andy Hold on. I'm gonna have to quit my job now.

David You don't have to quit your job.

Andy You know what, I don't wanna go out with you guys.

David Fine.

Andy Okay? I don't need your help.

David Okay, fine, you don't have to go out with us if you don't want.

Andy You know what?! I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much, I completely stay away from them! I have a very fulfilling life... And now I am going to make your silver pants blue. Get some roadburn, come on! Come on, sucker! Now, pretty ladies around the world. Got a weird thing to show you. Oh my God!

[Montage of flashbacks; Painting a toy soldier of a [[w:Zouave|Zouave; Playing [[w: Tony Hawk's Underground|Tony Hawk's Underground; Karaoke; Laughing at a comic book in bed]

Memorable Quotes from Paul Rudd