Philip Baker Hall Quotes

Sydney Here's a robe and some stuff for you.

Clementine Captain?

Sydney Yeah?

Clementine Do you wanna fuck me?

Sydney Do you think that?

Clementine Well, you brought me here.

Sydney Do you think that?

Clementine I don't know.

Sydney You should know before you ask a question like that.

Clementine Well, you're being nice to me--

Sydney So you'd think I'd want that?

Clementine If you wanted to fuck me--

Sydney Stop saying that.

Clementine It just seemed like--

Sydney Well, don't let it seem that way. This is a comfortable bed for you. I want you to sleep on it...to give you something to--a place to have a nice shower and a bed.

Clementine Don't get angry.

Sydney No, I'm not...because I understand...how you could ask a question like that.

Clementine Now you really look at me as a piece of shit.

Sydney No.

Clementine All right.

Sydney John?

John Sid?

Sydney Yeah. Open up.

John Everything cool?

Sydney What? Yeah, everything's cool. Are you alright?

John I'm fine.

Sydney You gonna open the door?

John I said on the phone, you know... it's kinda screwed up.

Sydney Yeah, so? Open the door, let's see what's going on.

John You promise you'll help me?

Sydney John, it's cold out here, open the door.

John Is everything cool?

Sydney John, open the goddamn door, will ya?

Sydney Now what's going on, John?

John Just - shut the door.

Sydney Why are the lights out?

John Okay, Sid?

Sydney Okay I'm not gonna...

John Let's just leave them off for a second...

Sydney I'm not gonna stand here with the lights out.

John Okay now, you promised you'd help me.

Sydney What is this, John?

John I'm sorry, Sid.

Sydney John, what is this? Who is this man?

John He's uh... he's a hostage.

Alan Want a macaroon?

Adam Oh, thanks. I’m alright.

Alan There’s weed in ‘em.

Adam Oh, yeah, thank you, but I - I don’t do weed.

Alan C’mon, man. Just get high with us!

Adam Okay. Thanks.

Mitch How old are you?

Adam Twenty-seven.

Alan That’s just the worst. A perfectly good youth wasted.

Mitch Alan, stop it. Don’t listen to him, he's just messing with you.

Alan Listen to me, this cancer is bullshit. First your hair’s going to fall out, then your balls’ll shrink. And if that isn’t enough, your dick becomes a constant source of disappointment.

Adam I got to tell you, I was really nervous about this whole cancer thing, and then I met you guys, and boy do I feel better.

Mitch So you want to drive, right now?

Alan Yeah.

Mitch You sure that's what you want to do?

Mitch That's your make-a-wish? To drive?

Dave Toschi What's that?

Sherwood Morrill Similarities in the lowercase "r"s.

Dave Toschi And that?

Sherwood Morrill It is you waiting in the hall if you speak again. I have to concentrate.

Dave Toschi Sorry.

Sherwood Morrill Sorry" counts as speaking.

Dave Toschi There are similarities in the lowercase "r"s.

Rose Gator Why doesn't Claudia... talk to you, Jimmy?

Jimmy Gator Why? Because we've... We both don't know. What do you mean?

Rose Gator No, I think you know.

Jimmy Gator Maybe... I don't.

Rose Gator Say it, Jimmy.

Jimmy Gator I think she thinks... that I may have... molested her. She thinks terrible things that somehow got into her head... that I may have done. She said that to me last time, when it was... ten years ago, she walked out the door. "You touched me wrong. I know that." Some crazy thought in her head.

Rose Gator Did you ever touch her?

Jimmy Gator I don't know.

Rose Gator ... Jimmy!...

Jimmy Gator I don't know. I really don't.

Rose Gator But you can't say!

Jimmy Gator I don't know what I've done.

Rose Gator Yes, you do. You do! But you won't say!

Jimmy Gator I don't know. What? Please? Please.

Rose Gator You deserve to die alone for what you've done!

Jimmy Gator I don't know what I've done!

Rose Gator Yes, you do!

Jimmy Gator Rose, if I said that I knew, would you stay?

Rose Gator No!

Jimmy Gator But I don't know what I've done.

Rose Gator You should know better!

Alvin MacCarron I don't care for B.S. I don't care to hear it. I don't care to speak it.

Jimmy Jesus, we are fucking surrounded by pussy here.

Sydney Hey, hey. Jimmy.

Jimmy What?

Sydney Not for my ears, but hers. She can hear that sort of thing across the lounge. Puts her in a very uncomfortable position.

Jimmy I doubt if hearing she's got a great pussy puts her in an uncomfortable position.

Sydney I just don't want it coming from my table.

Jimmy You may not know this but half the women that work here are take-home whores anyway. They get off on that shit. I got a friend, works over at the Sand Dunes where I work. This man's in charge of corralling waitresses for that sort of thing. He's in charge. He is the pussy patrol.

Sydney Jimmy--

Jimmy What?

Sydney Just, you know--Hey, I live up here. I know what flies and what don't.

Jimmy To tell a babe she's got a nice ass is no crime, believe me.

Sydney Tell me something. Are you required to flirt, to behave as you do toward that table of men over there? Maybe... it's some part of your job?

Clementine Uh, they don't say to do it.

Sydney But if you don't?

Clementine Well, then I get questioned, like: "Why were so rude to them?", and, I mean, I can't talk back. I can't tell them to fuck off and leave me alone.

Sydney As a rule?

Clementine I'd also lose the tip.

Sydney Sounds like an occupational hazard.

Nick Brady Let's bet how many times he says shit'. I say seven.

Shawn Colfax No way. Ten.

Nick Brady, Shawn Colfax Hey coach!

Coach Byrnes You shitheads think you're the shit? That you don't need to pay attention out there? I'll kick the shit outta ya! You pumped for football camp?

Shawn Colfax Eh, I guess so.

Nick Brady Yeah, two weeks without girls. Who wouldn't be pumped?

Coach Byrnes Don't mess with me shitdick! I'm gonna push ya like you've never been pushed before. Your muscles will ache, your head will throb. You're gonna shit blood out of holes you never knew you had.

Nick Brady Well at least we're gonna be in Daytona Beach.

Coach Byrnes No no. They changed it up this year. Camp's gonna be in El Paso, Texas. Hotter than your shithole. We're gonna get you shits conditioned! Bus leaves Monday at o shithundred hours.

Nick Brady Which is...?

Coach Byrnes 4:45 am.

Nick Brady Of course.

Shawn Colfax As usual.

Nick Brady Mhmm.

Coach Byrnes Skip your morning shit and get down there.

Nick Brady Ten shits'. You win. How do you always know?

Shawn Colfax It's a gift. I'm not proud of it.

Father Callaway This is gonna sound strange, but you know the doll with one eye that your daughter is holding? Well, that belonged to the little girl who lived here before you.

Kathy Lutz Yes, it was left here.

Father Callaway No, Mrs. Lutz, it was not left here.

Kathy Lutz Father, what exactly are you trying to tell me?

Father Callaway I knew the DeFeos very well. I presided over their funeral. Jodie DeFeo was buried with that doll.

Alvin MacCarron Mr. Greenleaf also feels there was a silent promise in Dickie's letter to you which he intends to honor. He intends to transfer a good part of Dickie's income from his trust into your name. He doesn't intend on giving the Italian police any information about Dickie's past. He's rather hoping that you will feel the same.

Sydney Where did this thing go wrong?

Clementine Because he thought that he was smart and I was stupid...and I'm not stupid.

Sydney Well, this is a pretty stupid situation, isn't it?

Clementine We'll see how fucking stupid I am when we get my money, won't we?

Sydney You know the first thing they should have taught you at hooker school? You get the money up front.

Clementine Fuck you.

John Syd, don't talk to her like that.

Sydney I'm having a conversation.

John Don't talk to her like that.

Sydney Shut the fuck up.

John I'm warning you, Syd! Don't fucking talk to her like that! She's my wife! We got married this afternoon.

John Thanks for everything, Syd.

Sydney There's something I need to tell you. It's something you need to know. It's important. I need to tell you. I love you, John. I love you like you were my own son.

John Thank you, Syd. I love you too.

Lowell Bergman This news division has been vilified by the New York Times, in print, on television, for caving to corporate interests!

Don Hewitt The New York Times ran a blow-by-blow of what we talked about behind closed doors! You fucked us!

Lowell Bergman NO, YOU FUCKED YOU! Don't invert stuff! Big Tobacco tried to smear Wigand, YOU bought it. The Wall Street Journal, here: not exactly a bastion of anti-capitalist sentiment, refutes Big Tobacco's smear campaign as the lowest form of character assassination! And now, even now, when every word of what Wigand has said on our show is printed, the entire deposition of his testimony in a court of law in the State of Mississippi, the cat TOTALLY out of the bag, you're still standing here debating! Don, what the hell else do you need?

Don Hewitt Mike, you tell him.

Mike Wallace You fucked up, Don.

Alan I’m Alan Lombardo: stage 3 lymphoma. Pleased to meet you.

Mitch Mitch Barnett, metastatic prostate cancer.

Adam Oh, I’m Adam Lerner, ].

Alan Whoa, what the fuck is that?

Mitch Tough break. The more syllables, the worse it is.

Jimmy What I mean - what I believe... is that you killed his father... like the stories I heard go. Now, if somebody killed my father... I would feel the need to do something. The stories I heard - you know, stories get around - is that you used to be a hard-ass. You were a hard-ass and you took his dad out, Sydney. So you think - what? You can just walk through this life... without being punished for it? Shit, man. I know all those guys you know. Floyd Gondolli, Jimmy Gator, Mumbles O'Malley. They like to sit around in Clifton's and talk, talk, talk. They love to tell stories. You can sit there and look at me sideways all you want. You probably think I'm some kind of asshole or something... but I'm not a killer... like you. You walk around like you're Mr. Cool, Mr. Wisdom... but you're not. You're just some old hood. The other night in the bar, you asking me a question... like do I do parking lot security? Well, the answer is no! I'm trusted security inside the casino. I'm trusted with security, and I don't fuck it up.

Sydney Good that you have such a sturdy sense of responsibility.

Jimmy Don't! Don't! Don't fuckin do that! You understand? I can see right through that shit! You look at me as some idiot, huh? I know you do. I know you. You old guys, you old hoods... you think you're so fuckin above it... so high and mighty. What am I to you? Some loser? Not with a gun in my hand. Not with the facts I know. Bottom line, Sydney. No matter how hard you try... you're not his father.

Sydney I have the money here. I have the $10,000 here. Not in the bank. I have it here.

Jimmy I knew that. I knew you did.

Sydney I have the money to give you right now, in this moment. I will give you all that I have. Maybe before you were gonna kill me. Maybe. I don't know. I know John, and I love him like he was my own child. But I can tell you this: I don't want to die. I killed his father. I can tell you what it was. This is not an excuse. I'm not begging for clemency. All that matters, I do not wish to sacrifice my life for John's well-being. But I will sacrifice this money for mine because you have asked me. Because after this, I will have done all I can for John and for myself. I'm going to ask you with all the heart and sincerity that I have, please do not put a bullet in me. And, please, don't tell John what I've done. I trust that once I give you this money, you and I will take separate paths and that this negotiation will settle everything. That is my hope. I don't wanna die.

Sydney I have a friend in Los Angeles. Someone... maybe someone who can help. I can make a call for you, tell him you're a friend, so on and so forth, and we can work this thing out here. I think if you need help paying for your mother's funeral, we can work it out. I want you to see that my reasons for doing this are not selfish, only this: I'd hope that you would do the same for me.

John I would. Thank you.

Sydney It's always good to meet a new friend. I'll see you later.

Floyd Gondolli This is the future. Videotape tells the truth.

Jack Horner Wait a minute. You come into my house, my party, to tell me about the future? That the future is tape, videotape, and not film? That it's amateurs and not professionals? I'm a filmmaker, which is why I will never make a movie on tape. I'll tell you something else. I will never, ever loan out any of the actors that I have under contract.

Floyd Gondolli Wait, Jack, I'm not a complicated man. I like cinema. In particular, I like to see people fucking on film. But I don't want to win an Oscar, and I don't want to reinvent the wheel. I like simple pleasures...like butter in my ass, lollipops in my mouth. That's just me. That's just something that I enjoy. Call me crazy, call me a pervert, but there's one little thing I want to do in this life, and that is to make a dollar and a cent in this business. I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm trying to help you stay one step ahead of the game.