There's Something About Mary - Misunderstanding Leads to Unexpected Consequences
Ted:
Look, I didn't solicit any sex, okay? This is a huge misunderstanding. I was really going out to pee, I was walking to the bushes, I tripped over this guy - and suddenly all those cops and their helicopters...
Detective Stabler: [about the dead body in the trunk]
Ted, Ted, it's okay, we believe you. The problem is we found your friend in the car.
Ted: [smiles]
Oh, the hitchhiker? That's what this is about, the hitchhiker? Oh, oh, great. This is my luck. I get caught for everything.
Detective Krevoy: [pats Ted's shoulder]
So...you admit it?
Ted:
Ah, yeah, guilty as charged. Look, I know you guys got a job to do, alright? And I'm really sorry. I did it, I admit it. You know, the guy even told me, the hitchhiker told me it was illegal.
Detective Krevoy:
Well, uh, can you tell us his name?
Ted:
Ah...no, I didn't catch it. Can we cut to the chase? I mean, am I like in a lot of trouble here?
Detective Stabler: [nods]
First tell us why you did it.
Ted:
Why I did it? Ah...I don't know. Boredom? The guy turned to be a blubber mouth who just would not shut up.
Detective Krevoy: [trying to control himself]
Ted, this wasn't your first time, was it?
Ted:
No.
Detective Krevoy:
How many are we talking here?
Ted: [confused]
Hitchhikers? My whole life? Ah... I don't know - twenty-five, fifty... I mean, who keeps track? Hey, you know, I know this is the Bible Belt and everything, but where I come from, this is not that big deal, I mean...
Detective Krevoy: [slams Ted's head against the desk]
You son of a bitch! You're gonna fry!
Detective Stabler:
Take it easy! Calm down! Are you okay?
Ted: [to Krevoy]
What the hell is wrong with you?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Two Moon Junction - Uninvited Guest and Unexpected Consequences
April Delongpre:
I don't even know you, yet you just come inside my house, uninvited, and take my life away!
Perry:
Maybe you don't know it, but you did invite me!
April Delongpre:
Oh, go to hell!
Perry:
Oh, sweetheart!
April Delongpre:
Oh, fuck you!
Perry:
Princess!
April Delongpre:
Cocksucker!
Perry:
Sugar!
April Delongpre:
Motherfucker!
Perry:
Sweetpea!
April Delongpre:
Bastard!
Perry:
Be careful what you say, people around here might think we love each other.
April Delongpre:
You can rot in hell for all I care.
Perry:
You're sexy when you're angry.
April Delongpre:
You bastard!
Perry:
You already said that!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Two Moon Junction - Conflict and Exasperation in Dialogue
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Two Moon Junction - Life's Simplicity and Hidden Secrets
Perry:
This girl's got a secret. Huh? You got any secrets. I don't have any secrets. I don't have anything. All I got is a bike, a truck, and post office box in Clearlake, Florida.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Two Moon Junction - Perry's Humorous Observation on a Character
Perry: [to the motel guests after his argument with April.]
Sorry about the disturbance folks, but that is one special wacko chick.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.