Memorable Quotes from Ricky Velez
3 quotesEmbracing a Lifestyle of Substance Use
Oscar
I haven't been high in a while but I still do it, I like that lifestyle.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation at Abandoned Property
Security guard
Hey, hey, wait. Hey, hey, guys. Look, look. You can't be here, man. Y-You got to go.
Tara
Why?
Security guard
It's private property, that's why.
Scott
It's an abandoned orphanage. Why can't we be here?
Richie
Who gives a shit, man? What are you doing here? You fucking protecting the ghosts of dead orphans?
Security guard
Look, ], shut your damn mouth. I'll be back in five minutes for you assholes. If you're still here, I'm calling the cops, period.
[[w:Kanye West|fat Kanye; ''Oscar [[w:the finger|raises middle finger; ''Walks away'']
Oscar
You better get the cops, man, cause you're a fake cop. You need the real ones. Motherfuckers.
Scott
Fuck all of y'all.
Igor
I feel bad. We- we were a little too mean.
Scott
Yeah. He's nice.
Igor
Yeah, he's a really good guy.
Kelsey
See that guy is what is wrong with Staten Island. We don’t get any of the cool people from any of the other boroughs. No one comes here. We’re stuck with the pricks who live here.
Oscar
You’re talking about us, right in front of us.
Kelsey
Kind of. I mean no one comes here! There’s no flow of people. That guy’s like two hundred. We’ve known him since we were six.
Tara
Why can’t this be like ]?
[[w:Brooklyn|Brooklyn]
Kelsey
There’s no reason we shouldn’t be cool like Brooklyn. We’ve got amazing views. It’s close to the city. It’s cheap. Nice people. It makes no sense.
Scott
We’re like the only place New Jersey looks down on. You could see the garbage dump from space. This place is never gonna change.
Kelsey
No. ]. Brooklyn used to be a shithole. We’re next. I’m gonna take my civil service test. I’m gonna work for the city in city planning. You watch, this place is going to be fucking Williamsburg in ten years.
[[w:gentrification|It happened to the Meatpacking District, the Village]
Richie
Nobody wants that.
Scott
Why do you wanna work in the city and do city planning? That sounds so boring.
Tara
I feel like Brooklyn is better. I dated a guy that lived in Brooklyn. He was a mixologist. He made ice cubes out of milk. He was so classy.
Oscar
Shut up.
Kelsey
I love Staten Island. It’s amazing. And people are gonna see it soon. Trust me.
Scott
If you love it so much, why don’t you let me tattoo it on you?
Kelsey
No, I’m not letting you tattoo me again.
Scott
Well I need somebody to tattoo. Come on Rich, what about you man?
Richie
Don’t even look at me, dude.
Scott
Why?
Richie
] tattoo on his arm] Your work is mad inconsistent. Obama ain’t right.
[''Points to tattoo of [[w:Barak Obama|Obama]
Scott
I got the eyes wrong, okay?
Richie
He’s not right! This has hurt me. I don’t have any black friends anymore. I can’t go to a barber shop no more. You got Obama wrong. Ain’t nothing worse than that.
Scott
What about you, Igor? You want a dragon or something?
Igor
I love your tattoos. My brother? It’s the spitting image. It’s my favorite. No this is my favorite.
[''Lifts his shirt to reveal a tattoo of a cat with his navel implied to be the anus'']
Igor
You killed that.
Scott
I really worked hard on the eyes.
Igor
He’s so cute. I love his butthole. It reminds me that I have a belly button. So I’m good.
Kelsey
I gotta go. Watching you beg to give tattoos is too sad. And that’s freaking me out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion on a Painful Tattoo Experience
Igor
That looks really good.
Scott
I wish you’d let me do something cooler but yeah. We see the tattoo, a smiley face captioned “Unfollow Me.”
Igor
Fuck no. That hurt so bad.
Oscar
Another dumb tattoo.
Scott
I like the pain. The pain’s the whole point of getting tattoos. Don’t you just love when you get a tattoo and it hits the bone and pinches a nerve and you’re like “Ah!”
Igor
I’m not a fan of the pain.
Richie
You shouldn’t let him do it to you. He’s inconsistent.
Oscar
That tattoo’s dumb.
Igor
Y’all should’ve told me when you saw the design.
Oscar
It says “Unfollow Me.” You don’t even have that many followers.
Igor
Carla follows me.
Richie
Bro, she’s imaginary!
Richie
How many times do we have to say this? Oscar punches a bug.
Oscar
I hate bugs, dog. I’m a gangster!
Scott
That’s a bee, bro!
Oscar
There’s a kid down there. Yo, kid!
Scott
Oh shit, there is a kid.
Oscar
What’re you doing? You hanging out on the beach? Come here. Don’t be shy. No stranger danger here. I’m not gonna touch you.
Scott
What’s up, pal?
Oscar
What’re you doing?
Harold
Looking for my friend.
Scott
Looking for my friend.
[''Mocks'']
Oscar
You wanna be friends with us? We’re the good guys.
Scott
You can hang out with us.
Oscar
Lemme get some of that. Put it here. You gang. Part of the gang.
[''[[w:Fist bump|Extends fist; ''Oscar and Harold bump fists and Harold spots Scott’s tattoo gun'']
Harold
What’s that?
Scott
It’s a tattoo gun. I was giving the homies tattoos.
Harold
I want a tattoo.
Scott
Sure young guy. You want a tattoo?
Harold
Yeah.
Oscar
Kid wants a tattoo. That’s my guy right there.
Igor
You can’t give him a tattoo. He’s a little kid.
Scott
I gotta practice on something. He seems old enough.
Oscar
You a tough guy?
Harold
Yeah.
Oscar
You’re a badass. Come on, show those muscles kid. Come on, both arms. Put ‘em up.
[''Flexing arms''; ''Harold flexes arms'']
Oscar
There we go. What’s your name?
Harold
Harold.
Oscar
I’m gonna call you Harry.
Harold
Don’t. It’s Harold.
Richie
Hell yeah.
Oscar
I like this kid. I need him in my life. He has structure.
Igor
I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Scott
We don’t listen to anything you say.
Oscar
Why do you even try to give us advice?
Scott
What do you want a tattoo of?
Harold
].
[[w:The Punisher|The Punisher]
Scott
The Punisher?
Oscar
That’s tough, man. He could’ve said anything. He said The Punisher.
[''Scott shows his phone to Harold'']
Scott
I can do that. Is that it?
Harold
Yeah that’s him.
Scott
Are you sure?
Harold
Yes.
Scott
Do I have your legal permission to do this?
Harold
Yes.
Scott
That’s good enough for me. How about you guys?
Oscar
Holds up in court.
Scott
You guys heard it.
Igor
He can’t give consent! He’s ten.
Scott
Now hold still, okay? Because it is permanent.
Igor
Guys, stop.
Oscar
Put your game face on.
Scott
Don’t worry, dude. This’ll just be on you for the rest of your life.
Harold
I DON’T WANNA DO IT! I DON’T WANNA!
Scott
I gotta finish it. Now there’s just a line. You’re gonna look stupid.
[''Harold runs away'']
Richie
Run little man, run!
Oscar
Goddamn it. I fucking believed in that kid.
Scott
He seemed so tough at first but then immediately wasn’t.
Oscar
That’s why I don’t fuck with millennials.
Scott
Again, we are the millennials.
Oscar
You keep saying that but I don’t know what that means.
Igor
I regret my friendship with you guys.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.