Memorable Quotes from Robert Wuhl
4 quotesQuestioning the Appeal of Joey Bishop
Marty Lee Dreiwitz
Let me ask you a question: what is the appeal of ]? I mean, the man's not funny. I know funny, and he's not funny. Don't get me wrong, he seems like a nice guy, but my father's a nice guy and he's not funny either! Joey Bishop. I wish someone would explain this one to me.
[[w:Joey Bishop|Joey Bishop]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Batman Offers Gotham a Temporary Peace
Harvey Dent
We've received a letter from Batman this morning. "Please inform the citizens of Gotham that Gotham City has earned a rest from crime. But if the forces of evil should rise again to cast a shadow on the heart of the city, call me".
Alexander Knox
Question: How do we call him?
Commissioner Gordon
He gave us this ]!
[[w:Bat-Signal|signal; activates searchlight]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Past Encounter Between Baseball Players
Larry
Who are you? Who's he?
[To Skip]
Crash
I'm the player to be named later.
Skip
Crash Davis? I'm Joe Riggins.
[Shakes Crash's hand]
Crash
And you, Larry Hockett, should recognize me, cause five years ago in the Texas League, you were pitching for El Paso, I was batting clean-up for Shreveport. You hung a curveball on a 0-2 pitch in a 3-2 game in the bottom of the 8th, and I tattooed it over the Michelin Tire sign and beat you 4-3.
Larry
Yeah, I remember, I should've thrown a slider. Damn, Crash, how you doing?
[grins]
Crash
I'm too old for this shit. Why the hell am I back in A-ball?
Skip
Cause of Ebby Calvin LaLoosh. Big club's got a hundred grand in him.
Larry
He's got a million-dollar arm, and a five-cent head.
Skip
Had a gun on him tonight. The last five pitches he threw were faster than the first five, He has the best young arm I've seen in 30 years. You've been around. You're smart, professional. We want you to mature the kid. We want you to room with him on the road, stay on his case all year. He could go all the way.
Crash
Where can I go?
Skip
You can keep going to the ballpark, and keep getting paid to do it. Beats the hell out of working at Sears.
Larry
Sears sucks, Crash. I worked there once, sold Lady Kenmores. Nasty. Nasty business.
Skip
And even if it is the Carolina League, it's a chance to play every day.
Crash
You don't want a ballplayer; you want a stable pony.
Skip
Nah.
Crash
Well, my Triple-A contract gets bought out so I can hold some flavor-of-the-month's dick in the bus leagues, is that it? Well, fuck this fucking game! I quit, all right? I fucking quit.
[pause]
Crash
Who we play tomorrow?
Skip
Winston-Salem. Batting practice at 11:30.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Coaching Strategies for Young Athletes
Skip
Hell of a shot. Sorry it got wasted. I don't know what to do with these guys; I beg, I plead, I try to be a nice guy. I'm a nice guy-
[Talking to Crash after another loss]
Crash
Scare em.
Skip
Huh?
Crash
They're kids. Scare em. That's what I'd do.
Skip
Yeah..
[Realizes something and walks away chuckling'']
Skip
Everybody into the Shower!! Anybody ain't in the shower in ten seconds gonna get fined a hundred dollars! Larry!
Larry
1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi, 5 Mississippi, 6 Mississippi, 7 Mississippi, 8 Mississippi, 9 Mississippi, 10 Mississippi.
[Begins counting to ten as all the players run into the shower area]
Skip
You guys...you lollygag the ball around the infield! You lollygag your way down to first! You lollygag in and out of the dugout! Do you know what that makes you? Larry?!
Larry
Lollygaggers!
Skip
Lollygaggers! What's our record, Larry?
Larry
8-16.
Skip
8-16...How did we ever win eight?
Larry
It's a miracle.
Skip
It's a miracle. This is a simple game: You throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball. You got it?! Now we have got a twelve day road trip startin tomorrow! Bus leaves 6 in the morning.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.