Memorable Quotes from Sandy Baron
7 quotesThe Pursuit of Free Food and Drink
Morty
Nothing tastes as good as a free pizza. Now if I could only figure out how to get free beer.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Driving Rules in a Compromised State
Cody
You can't drive the tour.
Morty
Why not?
Cody
Because you're plastered!
Morty
What difference does that make? Now, never forget rule number one.
Cody
I know, never turn down a paying customer.
Morty
I may be a little loose, but I am not so far gone that I would turn away a packed hearse. Of course, there's always rule number two.
[''Drunkenly tries to exit the bathroom, but walks into a toilet'']
Cody
Which is?
Morty
Never kill a paying customer.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Accusations and a Mysterious Leprechaun
Morty
They found this dead kid at Bridgette's, she's missing, everybody says you did it.
Cody
Me? That's crazy!
Morty
That's what I told the cops, now what the hell happened?
Cody
A leprechaun did it.
Morty
Maybe I should call the cops.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Skepticism Amid Supernatural Chaos
Morty
I probably should've kept you away from all this supernatural stuff.
Cody
He dropped a rack of pots on my head.
Morty
Oh, well now I'm convinced.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Financial Reality of Acting
Cody
You should've been an actor.
Morty
There's no money in it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advice Against Drinking and Levitation
Morty
Didn't anybody ever tell you not to drink and levitate?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Urgent Plea in a Crisis Situation
Doctor
Miss Dillon, I'm sorry about our little disagreement on the phone. And I'm really sorry about your son. Well, it's hard to believe that such a strapping young man is your son.
Lilly Dillon
Never mind that, just take care of him.
Doctor
He's had, he's had an internal hemorrhage. He's bleeding to death.
Lilly Dillon
Well, make it stop!
Doctor
His blood pressure's under a hundred. I don't think he's going to make it to the hospital.
Lilly Dillon
You know who I work for.
Doctor
There's just so much I can do.
Lilly Dillon
My son is going to be all right. If not, I'll have you killed.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.