Memorable Quotes from Seth Green
42 quotesBalancing Education and Distractions in Youth
Mother
Pay more attention to your schoolwork and less to the radio!
Joe
You always listen to the radio.
Mother
It's different. Our lives are ruined already. You still have a chance to grow up and be somebody.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Survival at the North Pole
James St. James
The North Pole! I've made it across the frozen tundra. My faithful huskies perished in the blizzard way back. I had to eat them.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Coming Out and Acceptance Among Friends
Dan Mott
I'm out.
Jerry Conlaine
What does that mean?
Tom Marshall
I think it means he's out. Like coming out, like he's finally admitting he's gay.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Disastrous Adventure Comes to an End
Dan Mott
This trip is officially over! This is finished! Let's just go home.
Tom Marshall
I agree. That is a great idea. All we've got to do is jump up over that 100-foot waterfall, swim upstream 20 miles, get the sheriff on the phone. He liked us, I remember. And he'll send out a rescue boat. And--hey, there's a beer in the river. Cool.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Yearbook Signing and School Spirit Clash
Yearbook Girl
Kenny Fisher, sign my yearbook.
Kenny Fisher
No, thanks. No time.
Yearbook Girl
Come on. Where's your school spirit? Go Hot Dogs!
Homeboy 1
Bitch, get a life!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Wildlife Encounter in the Open
Dan Mott
Hey guys look! A wild deer! All out in the open like that!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bacon and Squirrel Conversation
Dan Mott
Mmm, bacon.
Del Knox
Squirrel.
Dan Mott
Mmm, squirrel.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Joy of Preparing Meat
James St. James
Darling, half the fun of eating meat is hacking it up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Realization in a Surprising Moment
Dan Mott
Whoa... Matrix.
[While high on marijuana, after dodging a bullet]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acknowledging Serious Trouble Ahead
Dan Mott
We are in serious trouble my friends. All data points to us being--how do you humans say it?-- completely screwed?
[imitating [[w:C-3PO|C-3PO]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Path to Wisdom through Excess
James St. James
The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. Blake, William. That's really all you need to know. That and "Don't dream it, be it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Addiction to Glamour Over Drugs
James St. James
I am not addicted to drugs, I'm addicted to glamor!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unwanted Growth of Affection
James St. James
Michael was growing on me. Like a fungus.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Demanding Action for Stolen Costumes
Patrick
Stop wasting my time! Do you hear me?! Now, I want you to question all of your scum-bucket friends. They'll find out about what they know about those stolen costumes, or else you'll be known from here on in as the Soiled Underwear Ghost. I want answers! Now, go!
Man
Yes, sir!
Patrick
Now!
Man
Yes, sir!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation About Near-Death Experiences
Anton
Hey, I didn't kill anyone on purpose, okay?
Mick
Yeah, well, we weren't in hell! I mean, there was this bright white light at the end of a long tunnel, right, and there was these chicks voices, and that music...
Anton
Music?
Pnub
Yeah, kinda uncool music, like, Enya. And these chicks voices, they were saying, "come to us, come towards the light".
Anton
So what happened?
Mick
We figured, fuck it, I mean, it was really far!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dr. Evil's Tractor Beam Naming Debate
Dr. Evil
Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call...Preparation H. What?
[Scott snickers]
Scott Evil
Why don't you just call it operation ass-cream, you ass.
Dr. Evil
I'm sorry, did you want some ice cream?
Scott Evil
Yes, I'd love some chocolate ass-cream.
Dr. Evil
Perhaps later.
[Somewhat confused]
Number 2
Dr. Evil, I love your plan.
Dr. Evil
Yeah, eh?
Frau Farbissina
Ja, Doktor. It's a really good plan.
Dr. Evil
Yes Frau, on the whole I think Preparation H feels good. What is it now?
[Scott laughs]
Scott Evil
No, nothing, I agree. Preparation H does feel good...on the hole.
Dr. Evil
Well, I’m glad we're sprechen Sie the same lingitty, ja. Ladies and gentlemen, using my time machine I shall travel back to 1975, pick up Goldmember and bring him back to the future. And the best part of this plan is...no one can stop me. Not even...Austin Powers.
[laughs evilly]
Austin Powers
Not so fast. You're surrounded, Doctor Evil.
[arrives with a gun; the police aim their guns at Dr. Evil and Mini-Me]
Dr. Evil
Shit.
[defeated once again]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Casual Greeting in English
Ezekiel
What up, English?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Survival Choices in Extreme Situations
Dan Mott
The only chance we have to survive is to huddle together for warmth...
Jerry Conlaine
I, for one, choose death.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Innovative Traffic Control Heist Strategy
Lyle
You want all greens? Cause, ah, cause you got em.
[chuckles]
Charlie Croker
What have you got?
Lyle
Welcome to LA's Automated Traffic Surveillance and Control Operations Center. See, they use video feeds from intersections and specifically designed algorithms to predict traffic conditions, and thereby control traffic lights. So all I did was come up with my own... kick-ass algorithm to sneak in, and now we own the place.
Croker
You want to do a dry run?
Lyle
I thought you'd never ask! See, red light. Green light.
[singsong; turns to his computer, showing a camera; presses button to turn all lights on an intersection green; Cars start moving from each direction, causing one vehicle to get T-boned by a car on each side]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Revelations Among Friends
Mick
Hey, you were right. Anton does scream like a girl!
Pnub
You think we should tell him that we put that writing on the ceiling?
Mick
Fuck it!
Pnub
Hey, let's go walk through a nurse!
Mick
Okay, watch it. Some of them are guys.
The Hand
Anton, I'll be back...We all go a little crazy sometimes. Just don't look under the bed...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Pressure of Expectations in Dating
Kenny Fisher
Yo, I gotta have sex tonight! I mean peep this - They say here ninety-two percent of the honeys at UCLA are sexually active. Ninety-two of the women in Los Angeles at UCLA walking around going, "Class... or sex? What shall I do?" Ninety-two percent, yo! Hey, you know what that means?
Ritchie Koolboy
What?
Kenny Fisher
It means I gots a ninety-two percent chance of embarrassing myself. I roll up on that shorty be like, "What's up yo?" she be like, "You don't know 20 different ways to make me call you Big Poppa", cuz I don't yo.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Advantage of Running Barefoot
Dan Mott
What are you doing?
Jerry Conlaine
Taking off my shoes.
Dan Mott
Why?
Jerry Conlaine
Because I run faster with no shoes
Dan Mott
You can't outrun that bear!
Jerry Conlaine
I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns About First Impressions and Misunderstandings
Kenny Fisher
Damn, she's gonna think I got that premature evacuation!
[after he spilled water on his pants]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cherokee Wisdom Meets Modern Technology
Tom Marshall
We'll shine them. It's an old Cherokee trick.
Jerry Conlaine
Oh, I forgot. The Cherokee have been using flashlights for thousands of years.
Dan Mott
Didn't they pioneer the D-cell battery?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion About Airport Location
Duane Cody
Where the hell is the airport?!
[Looking at a map, a plane lands behind him]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Existence Without Action
James St. James
I don't do. I just am.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Unique Take on Party Substances
James St. James
Mm, lightly toasted animal tranquilizer.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Media Attention and Personal Rivalry
Lyle
And then ]'s just the media darling... He's on the cover of all the magazines, I should have been on the cover of WIRED magazine. You know what he said? He said he named it ] because it was his nickname because of the nappy hair under the hat. But he, it's because I was NAPPING when he STOLE it from me. He didn't even graduate.
[[w:Shawn Fanning|he; [w:Napster|Napster]
Handsome Rob
I think it's time to move on, don't you? They shut him down, I wish they'd do the same to you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Comparing Chances in Relationships After Loss
Dan Mott
Billy's dead and he still has a better chance of getting laid than I do.
[Billy's Italian girlfriend rubs herself on his casket]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call for Help Between Friends
Anton
Mick?
[hears moaning coming from Mick's grave]
Mick
Over here. Anton, help me. Come on, man, I can't breathe down here. Anton? Anton, can you hear me?
Anton
Mick?
[kneels and leans over Mick's grave]
Mick
Yeah man, it's Mick.
Anton
You're dead!
Mick
No I'm not! You conked me on the head pretty good. I must've been unconcious.
Anton
You think?
Mick
I know fucker, now dig me up!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embrace Yourself and Shine Brightly
James St. James
It doesn't matter what you look like! I mean if you have a hunchback, just throw a little glitter on it, honey, and go dancing.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflection on Sarcasm and Experiences
Ezekiel
I miss sarcasm. It's mostly lost on my people. And gambling... went to Vegas once. And buttfucking.
[pause]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Dangers of Excessive Radio Listening
Mother
I don't know what to do, Rabbi. Every night, he listens to the radio. I can't keep him away. I say, "Go to the beach. Play in the sun. Get some fresh air." No. "The Lone Ranger," "The Shadow," "The Masked Avenger.
Rabbi Baumel
This is not good. This boy needs discipline. Radio, it's all right once in a while. Otherwise, it tends to induce bad values false dreams, lazy habits. Listening to the radio these stories of foolishness and violence this is no way for a boy to grow up!
Joe
You speak the truth, my faithful Indian companion.
Rabbi Baumel
To a rabbi you say "my faithful Indian companion"?
[hits him in a head]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Kenny Fisher's Moment of Decision
Kenny Fisher
All right this is it. It is finally time for Kenny Fisher to become... da man. Now I've done my laps, and all ten finalists are present and accounted for. Ten lovely ladies, yo. Each one at my disposal. Ten willing and able tour guides into the theme park of love. But who will it be? Which of you gorgeous ten will be the lucky one?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Calculating a Fortune in The Italian Job
Lyle
That's about 2.7 million dollars.
Charlie
What?
Lyle
No, wait. That's 27...27 million dollars. YEAH! I got the... Holy Spirit...you should get on it...it's a good train.
[A brief pause; everyone in the station is staring at him]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Unique Perspective on Satisfaction
James St. James
It was better than a ten-inch dick and you know it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Childhood Memories and Fear of Heights
Jerry Conlaine
Come on, Dan. It's like when we'd jump off the railroad bridge into the river when we were kids. This is higher than that.
Dan Mott
But I never did jump in the river! You guys always pushed me when I wasn't looking!
Jerry Conlaine
Oh yeah!
[Pushes Dan]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing Challenges with Humor and Resolve
Dan Mott
Give em hell, Tommy
[after Tom had offered to distract Dennis and Elwood instead of Jerry]
Tom Marshall
This hell-mart's open for business, and I'm slashing prices.
[about to rappel down the tree]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Testing the Limits of Expression
James St. James
Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3. Testosterone, testicular cancer, Tess of the D'urbervilles.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acceptance of a Difficult Situation
Dan Mott
You know, things are as bad as they could possibly get.
Dan Mott
I stand corrected!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Investing in Gold: A Practical Discussion
Left Ear
So come on, gentlemen, shopping list. Who's doing what? Spare no dirty details.
John
Come on, guys. Take a lesson from an old man. Don't spend it. Invest.
Left Ear
In what?
John
In gold.
Left Ear
What are you getting, Rob?
Handsome Rob
Ah, I don't know. There's a lot of things you can get with a lot of money. You know, I'm just thinking about naked girls in leather seats.
Left Ear
Obviously. See?
Handsome Rob
Suppose I'll get the ]. There's not a lot a girl won't do in the passenger seat of one of those things.
[[w:Aston-Martin Vanquish|Aston-Martin Vanquish]
Lyle
I'm gonna get a NAD T-770 digital decoder with a seventy-watt amp and and Burr Brown DAC's.
Left Ear
Yeah...
[at a loss]
Lyle
It's a big stereo. Speakers so loud, they blow women's clothes off.
Handsome Rob
Now you're talking!
Left Ear
Thirty-five million dollars, you can't get more creative than that, man? I'm going to Andalusia. The south of Spain. Right over there. Get me a big house, get me a library full of first editions, get a room for my shoes... What about you, Steve?
[points]
Steve Bendel
I don't know. I haven't decided yet.
Left Ear
You haven't decided yet? Come on, man. Is it the mountain air? Just —
Steve
I liked what you said. I'll take one of each of yours.
Left Ear
Well here's to two of everything for Steve!
[Laughs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Playful Exchange on Insanity
Dr. Charles Seaver
You're insane.
Darlene Mills
I thought that's what you liked about me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.