Memorable Quotes from Steven Anthony Lawrence
5 quotesA Birthday Invitation Surprise
Conrad
There he is!
Sally
Denise? Everybody I know is there. There's Ginny and Alan, how come Denise didn't invite me to her birthday?
Conrad
Don't worry. Let's just get Nevins and go.
Woman
Okay Kids, everyone outside!
Conrad
Cat, get down! they're gonna see you! Hide!
Kids
Pinata! Pinata! Pinata! Pinata! Pinata! Pinata! Pinata!
[A kid whacks the Cat with a bat]
Denise
Everybody join in! It's breaking!
[children starts to whack the Cat with bats]
Dumb Schweitzer
Step out of my way.
[drags a bat before he can hit The Cat]
Conrad
This cannot end well...
Ginny, Alan, Denise and the Children
Pinata! Pinata!
Singer
Easy, Easy like Sunday mor-
Conrad
I got an idea! Candy!
[Grabs candy from the Pinata]
Both
NO!
Mrs. Kwan
I'd love to buy some.
Joan
Hello, Mrs. Kwan. It's Joan Walden. I just called to check on the kids. Are they okay?
Mrs. Kwan
Those aren't children, they're little angels.
[Chuckles; Thing 1 is dressed as Conrad and Thing 2 is dressed as Sally too, they laugh and Mrs. Kwan starts laughing]
Joan
That's sweet. Well, all right Mrs. Kwan I'll be home as soon as I can. bye-bye.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Passion for the Game in Tough Times
Phil Weston
Ambrose
Ambrose
Yeah?
Phil Weston
I saw a bunch of nonsense out there. What was going through your head out there last week?
Ambrose
I was breaking my back for you coach because of my love for the game.
Phil Weston
LIAR! Jack!
Jack
What?
Phil
Who are supposed to pass the ball to?
Jack
The Italians.
Phil
Right! Alex, when?
Alex
When I come in contact with the ball.
Phil
The instant you come in contact with the ball! That's our strategy, it's one of the many plays we've worked out.
Mark Avery
It's the only play we've worked out.
Phil
How many sarcastic pills did you take this morning?
Mark
Coach I'm just--
Phil
Coach I'm just trying to nuh! Nuh!
[mocking him]
Sam
You gotta lighten up.
Phil
He started it!
[referring to Mark]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Recollections of Competitive Moments
Mark Avery
Hey Buck, remember when we beat you at the championship game?
Buck Weston
Oh yeah, well remember the time when I shoved that kid into the pool?
[kicks him into the swimming pool]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sports Legends and Misunderstandings
Phil
Look who's here! I'll give you a hint - Hall of Fame, Chicago Bears...
[at practice the next day]
Mark Avery
Sammy Sosa?
Ditka
C'mon.
Phil
No, no. Football. Coached the 1986-
Ditka
85.
[correcting him]
Phil
Right, 85 Bears to a Super Bowl victory... it's Mike Ditka!
Mark
Do you know Sammy Sosa?
Ditka
Hey, zip it, kid! I'm a coach that knows about winning! I'm gonna push you guys, like you've never been pushed before! Some of you are gonna wish I was dead!
Phil
It's true. I know it's a weird thought but it's true.
Ditka
I eat quitters for breakfast and I spit out their bones!
Phil
Delicious!
Ditka
This is gonna be the hardest thing you've ever done in your whole lives. But when it's over...
Phil
Don't get emotional...
Ditka
When it's over...
Phil
When it's over...
[echoing him]
Ditka
You guys are gonna be champions!
Phil
Champions!
Ditka
Now let's get out there and kick some butt!
Phil
On three, let's have fun
The Tigers
One, two, three, Let's Have Fun!
[all chant]
Ditka
Let's have fun"? What's that?
[to Phil, mocking]
Phil
I just made it up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
New Players Join the Team
Phil
Tigers! Huddle up.
Ditka
Come on, get in here.
Phil
I know we're on a five-game losing streak but I've got good news. Umberto!
Phil
We've got two new players joining the team. Guys; Gian Piero and Massimo. Now these boys are from ] so they don't speak English that well. We're all gonna help them learn. They're apprentice butchers.
[[Italy]
Mark Avery
Could the blacksmiths and candlestick makers not make it?
Ditka
Shut up.
Umberto
I come back and pick-up 5:00. Buon divertimento. Prima la carne.
[making the two boys recite before leaving]
Gian Piero and Massimo
Prima la carne.
Phil
What?
Umberto
Meat first!
Phil
Meat first! Yes, we love meat!
Umberto
Bye! ("Ciao!")
[In Italian]
Massimo and Gian Piero
Bye, uncle! ("Ciao, Zio")
[In Italian]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.