Memorable Quotes from Tad Hilgenbrink
5 quotesA Drunken Confession at Band Camp
Elyse
Are you okay?
Matt Stifler
Yeah.
Elyse
I'm so drunk right now... I'm probably gonna forget about you... porkin an oboe!
[''Bursts out laughing'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Camp Shenanigans and Rivalry Among Friends
Matt Stifler
Look, I wanna know all the stuff that goes on at night here. Naked pillow fights, whatever!
Ernie Kaplowitz
Do I look like the guy in charge of the naked pillow fights? Huh? This is my first year here. You see the beanie?
Brandon Vandecamp
Yes. Yes, I do. But where's yours, Stifler? Let's see- no standard issue t-shirt and no beanie. I believe that's two points from Great Falls, Mr. Nelson!
Matt Stifler
Tell you what, Vandercramp. How about I take his beanie and put it on my weenie? How's that, Vandercramp? It's on my head, right?
[''takes Ernie's beanie''; ''Stuffs the beanie down his pants'']
Mr. Nelson
Make it five points from Great Falls!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Superheroes Quarrel Over Power and Strength
Cyclops
He's unleashing his powers!
Storm
He's going to spread angel wings!
Mystique
More like chicken wings!
Magneto
Break it up. Break it up. You all know Peter is too much of a pussy to stand up for himself.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Competition and Confrontation Over Music Ambitions
Brandon Vandecamp
In today's episode: wasting time on lost causes. Speaking of which, I understand you composed the music to your show, Elyse. If you... call that music.
Elyse
Yeah, that's right. I did. And who'd your daddy hire to compose yours?
Brandon Vandecamp
I'm just giving you fair warning, cupcake. The Robard's Scholarship- is mine.
Elyse
Like you need it.
Brandon Vandecamp
Oh, it's not a matter of need, it's a matter of want. Yeah... I get what I want.
Matt Stifler
Why don't you shut the fu uhh?
Brandon Vandecamp
Oh, what're you gonna do?
[''Amused'']
Matt Stifler
Kick your ath!
Brandon Vandecamp
Are you challenging me?
Brandon Vandecamp
It's been three years since I've been challenged!
Brandon Vandecamp
I look forward to reminding people why.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Over Camp Rules
Brandon's friend 1
Are you a rookie? You look lost.
Matt Stifler
Are you an asshole? You're hairy and you smell like shit!
Brandon Vandecamp
I'll, uh... I'll ignore that kind of talk. Once. We don't speak that way here. Rookies are to wear their beanies at all times. Those are the rules.
Matt Stiffler
And who made you the Mayor of Geektown?
Brandon Vandecamp
I'm Brandon Vandecamp. Senior Drum Major of Beechwood Academy, and the President of the Tall Oaks Council.
Matt Stifler
Oh? And who are they, Mr. President? The First Lady and Vice Pussy?
Brandon Vandecamp
Suits you well.
Matt Stifler
Golly jeepers, thanks. And hey! Since I'm an official band geek and all, can you guess what my favorite piece of music is?
[''Sarcastic'']
Brandon Vandecamp
I have no idea.
Matt Stifler
The nutcracker.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.