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Tim Conway Quotes

Actor

Memorable Quotes from Tim Conway

7 quotes
Legacy of Unfortunate Events
Amos Tucker Our picture's never going to get in the history books now.
Theodore Ogelvie Oh, yes it will. We'll go down as numbers 16 or 17 shot by Marshall Wooly Bill Hitchcock.
Making a Decision Together
Theodore Ogelvie You know something, Amos?
Amos Tucker Huh?
Theodore Ogelvie We got to make a decision.
Amos Tucker What?
Theodore Ogelvie Does the Hash Knife Outfit throw in its hand? Or do we go out in a blaze of glory?
Amos Tucker Right! Uh, just what do you mean... blaze of glory?
Theodore Ogelvie Fighting till the last man's killed! What's it going to be, pard?
Amos Tucker You know that jail in Santa Fe wasn't all that bad.
Calculating Shared Earnings from a Windfall
Amos Tucker How much money do you figure that dude's got in front of him?
Theodore Ogelvie About 500.
Amos Tucker 500? Wow! You know, that'll be, uh, that's 200 apiece!
Opening a Bank Account Explained
Theodore Ogelvie First thing we're going to do is open a bank account.
Amos Tucker Now, is that different from opening a safe?
Courtroom Chaos and Misunderstanding
Homer McCoy Order! Order! This court is now in session, the Honorable Judge Homer McCoy presiding. Theodore Ogelvie, Amos Tucker, you're under arrest for attempted bank robbery. How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?
Theodore Ogelvie Not guilty?
Homer McCoy Guilty!
Amos Tucker That was the wrong one, Your Honor.
Homer McCoy This court sentences you to be thrown into the ]'s dungeon for twenty years! And I'm giving you an extra ten-dollar fine for perjury. Take them away.
[[w:Horned King|Horned King]
Homer McCoy Enjoy your stay at the Horned King's dungeon in Prydain at 12:00 sharp for your twenty-year sentence. And don't forget to bring your own rope.
Miscommunication Between Characters in a Scene
Nanu Me Nanu. You Jane.
Milo Jackson Now that doesn't sound quite right...
Humiliation in Unexpected Circumstances
Theodore Ogelvie Amos, that's the most humiliating thing that's happened to me.
Amos Tucker I know.
Theodore Ogelvie Three bitty kids with shovels walk right into our hideout and get the drop on us.
Amos Tucker I know.
Theodore Ogelvie And you burnt my hand, Amos.
Amos Tucker Well, I'm sorry about that.
Theodore Ogelvie And you scorched a hole in my best shirt!
Amos Tucker Well, I can fix that.
Theodore Ogelvie Why did you tell me those three bitty kids were a posse?
[suddenly blows his top]
Amos Tucker Well, I thought I saw them hiding down there in the bushes.
Theodore Ogelvie Oh, you couldn't see through a barbed-wire fence!
Amos Tucker Theodore?
Theodore Ogelvie That head of yours won't hold straw!
Amos Tucker Theodore?
Theodore Ogelvie You couldn't sell hacksaws in a jail!