Memorable Quotes from Tom Brooke
7 quotesDiscussion About Angus's Romantic Interest
Doctor Dave
And how are you set up, Angus?
Angus
Well, her name is Daphne.
Doctor Dave
She likes the bearded man, does she?
Angus
She does indeed.
Doctor Dave
With a tiny knob.
Angus
Whatever.
Thick Kevin
I've got a tiny knob, actually, and I rather like it. Means I can wear smaller underpants.
The Count
Don't know what that means. I didn't understand any of that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identifying Robin Hood Through Confused Descriptions
Thick Kevin
It's type of bird, but it's wearing a hat. Not so much a hat. Something that's at the top of a coat and attached to the coat and covers the head, but is not a hat.
Young Carl
A hood?
Thick Kevin
Yes, and now the first name, type of bird. It's a something hood.
Young Carl
Robin Hood! Why didn't you just say he lived in Sherwood Forest and has a bow and an arrow?
Thick Kevin
Yeah? What? Who are you talking about?
Young Carl
Robin Hood.
Thick Kevin
I didn't know that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Alcohol's Effects on Perception and Clarity
Young Carl
I think I might have had a little too much to drink last night.
Thick Kevin
Actually, I find alcohol rather sharpens my mind.
Young Carl
Really?
[amused]
Thick Kevin
Yes, and I was thinking...
Young Carl
Dangerous.
Thick Kevin
...that it's a bit weird for your mum to send you here to get you on the straight and narrow when this is obviously the worst possible place in the world to do that. There's sex and drugs and alcohol.
Young Carl
Without the sex.
Thick Kevin
And so I think you're here because it's exactly the right time for a young man, like you, to get to know his dad.
Young Carl
And?
[pause]
Thick Kevin
I therefore think your dad is somewhere on this boat. And since it's definitely not me, I think it's probably Quentin. Sometimes, just sometimes, I think I should have been called Clever Kevin. What do you think about that?
[rolls over and rolls off the bed]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cleverness Reflected in Self-Perception
Thick Kevin
Sometimes, just sometimes, I think I should be called Clever Kevin'.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Good News Amidst Impending Disaster
Quentin
Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you prefer?
Thick Kevin
Good news.
Quentin
Okay. The good news is the engine has exploded and we're all going to die.
Dave
Hello, Dr Dave, Radio Rock. How is that good news?
Quentin
I haven't yet told you how we're going to die. That's the bad news.
Simon
How are we gonna die?
Quentin
We're going to drown in the freezing waters of the North Sea.
Felicity
Dearie me.
Quentin
There is a huge hole in the side of the boat and in an unfortunate development, it transpires that the lifeboats are useless.
Thick Kevin
Actually, that's quite good for you, isn't it? Cause you can't swim, so you'll die quicker.
[to Angus]
Quentin
Sorry.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defiance Against the End of Pirate Radio
Quentin
The day has come. Tonight pirate radio dies. From midnight, we are a ghost ship floating without hope on cold and dark waters. You have done almighty work here. Thank you. But your work is done.
The Count
Not mine, sir. I'm an American citizen and I don't give a hootenanny God damn about your nitpicking limey laws. I intend to broadcast from this ship 24 hours a day until the day I die. And then for a couple days after that.
Gavin Cavanagh
Not wanting to sound rude or anything, but don't you think that might be an ever so slightly monotonous experience for the listener? What do you say to 12 hours each, noble sir?
Angus
The way I look at it, the world couldn't survive without my comedy, and who's going to have the moral backbone to play the Seekers when the mood is right?
Dave
They've split up.
Angus
I intend to celebrate the back catalogue.
Dave
I intend to stop you doing so.
Simon
As some of you know, my wife left me after 17 hours of marriage, but I survived that because I live for music. And now, with nothing else to live for, I'm willing to die for it as well.
John
I've always lived for news and weather. Happy to die for them, too. Especially the weather.
Bob Silver
I've got nowhere else to go.
Harold
I have somewhere else to go, but it's Peckham. So I think I'll stick around.
Felicity
Can't let everyone starve. And I'm slightly worried where my increasingly powerful sexuality will take me when I return to normal life.
Thick Kevin
I've got a very strong suspicion that Felicity fancies me. Not about to go anywhere, just when I'm in with a chance.
Young Carl
Obviously, I'm in. You're the only people in the world who like me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Clarity of Alcohol in Thought
Thick Kevin
I find alcohol rather sharpens my mind...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.