The Boat That Rocked - Good News Amidst Impending Disaster
Quentin:
Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you prefer?
Thick Kevin:
Good news.
Quentin:
Okay. The good news is the engine has exploded and we're all going to die.
Dave:
Hello, Dr Dave, Radio Rock. How is that good news?
Quentin:
I haven't yet told you how we're going to die. That's the bad news.
Simon:
How are we gonna die?
Quentin:
We're going to drown in the freezing waters of the North Sea.
Felicity:
Dearie me.
Quentin:
There is a huge hole in the side of the boat and in an unfortunate development, it transpires that the lifeboats are useless.
Thick Kevin: [to Angus]
Actually, that's quite good for you, isn't it? Cause you can't swim, so you'll die quicker.
Quentin:
Sorry.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Boat That Rocked - Defiance Against the End of Pirate Radio
Quentin:
The day has come. Tonight pirate radio dies. From midnight, we are a ghost ship floating without hope on cold and dark waters. You have done almighty work here. Thank you. But your work is done.
The Count:
Not mine, sir. I'm an American citizen and I don't give a hootenanny God damn about your nitpicking limey laws. I intend to broadcast from this ship 24 hours a day until the day I die. And then for a couple days after that.
Gavin Cavanagh:
Not wanting to sound rude or anything, but don't you think that might be an ever so slightly monotonous experience for the listener? What do you say to 12 hours each, noble sir?
Angus:
The way I look at it, the world couldn't survive without my comedy, and who's going to have the moral backbone to play the Seekers when the mood is right?
Dave:
They've split up.
Angus:
I intend to celebrate the back catalogue.
Dave:
I intend to stop you doing so.
Simon:
As some of you know, my wife left me after 17 hours of marriage, but I survived that because I live for music. And now, with nothing else to live for, I'm willing to die for it as well.
John:
I've always lived for news and weather. Happy to die for them, too. Especially the weather.
Bob Silver:
I've got nowhere else to go.
Harold:
I have somewhere else to go, but it's Peckham. So I think I'll stick around.
Felicity:
Can't let everyone starve. And I'm slightly worried where my increasingly powerful sexuality will take me when I return to normal life.
Thick Kevin:
I've got a very strong suspicion that Felicity fancies me. Not about to go anywhere, just when I'm in with a chance.
Young Carl:
Obviously, I'm in. You're the only people in the world who like me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Boat That Rocked - Alcohol's Effects on Perception and Clarity
Young Carl:
I think I might have had a little too much to drink last night.
Thick Kevin:
Actually, I find alcohol rather sharpens my mind.
Young Carl: [amused]
Really?
Thick Kevin:
Yes, and I was thinking...
Young Carl:
Dangerous.
Thick Kevin:
...that it's a bit weird for your mum to send you here to get you on the straight and narrow when this is obviously the worst possible place in the world to do that. There's sex and drugs and alcohol.
Young Carl:
Without the sex.
Thick Kevin:
And so I think you're here because it's exactly the right time for a young man, like you, to get to know his dad.
Young Carl: [pause]
And?
Thick Kevin: [rolls over and rolls off the bed]
I therefore think your dad is somewhere on this boat. And since it's definitely not me, I think it's probably Quentin. Sometimes, just sometimes, I think I should have been called Clever Kevin. What do you think about that?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Boat That Rocked - Discussion About Angus's Romantic Interest
Doctor Dave:
And how are you set up, Angus?
Angus:
Well, her name is Daphne.
Doctor Dave:
She likes the bearded man, does she?
Angus:
She does indeed.
Doctor Dave:
With a tiny knob.
Angus:
Whatever.
Thick Kevin:
I've got a tiny knob, actually, and I rather like it. Means I can wear smaller underpants.
The Count:
Don't know what that means. I didn't understand any of that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Boat That Rocked - Identifying Robin Hood Through Confused Descriptions
Thick Kevin:
It's type of bird, but it's wearing a hat. Not so much a hat. Something that's at the top of a coat and attached to the coat and covers the head, but is not a hat.
Young Carl:
A hood?
Thick Kevin:
Yes, and now the first name, type of bird. It's a something hood.
Young Carl:
Robin Hood! Why didn't you just say he lived in Sherwood Forest and has a bow and an arrow?
Thick Kevin:
Yeah? What? Who are you talking about?
Young Carl:
Robin Hood.
Thick Kevin:
I didn't know that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Boat That Rocked - Cleverness Reflected in Self-Perception
Thick Kevin:
Sometimes, just sometimes, I think I should be called Clever Kevin'.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Boat That Rocked - The Clarity of Alcohol in Thought
Thick Kevin:
I find alcohol rather sharpens my mind...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.