Memorable Quotes from Tony Curtis
9 quotesThe Relationship Between Columnists and Publicists
Sidney Falco
Sure, the columnists can't do without us, except our good and great friend J.J. forgets to mention that. You see, we furnish him with items.
J.J. Hunsecker
What, some cheap, gruesome gags?
Sidney Falco
You print em, don't ya?
J.J. Hunsecker
Yes, with your clients names attached. That's the only reason the poor slobs pay you - to see their names in my column all over the world. Now, I make it out, you're doing me a favor?... The day I can't get along without a press agents handouts, I'll close up shop and move to Alaska, lock, stock, and barrel.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Truth and Deceit in Servitude
Crassus
Do you steal?
Antoninus
No, master.
Crassus
Do you lie?
Antoninus
Not if I can avoid it.
Crassus
Have you... ever dishonored the gods?
Antoninus
No, master.
Crassus
Do you refrain from these vices out of respect for moral virtues?
Antoninus
Yes, master.
Crassus
Do you eat oysters?
Antoninus
When I have them, master.
Crassus
Do you eat snails?
Antoninus
No, master.
Crassus
Do you consider the eating of oysters to be moral, and the eating of snails to be immoral?
Antoninus
No, master.
Crassus
Of course not. It is all a matter of taste, isn't it?
Antoninus
Yes, master.
Crassus
And taste is not the same as appetite, and therefore not a question of morals, hmm?
Antoninus
It could be argued so, master.
Crassus
My robe, Antoninus. My taste includes both snails and oysters. Antoninus, look, across the river. There is something you must see. There, boy, is Rome. The might, the majesty, the terror of Rome. There is the power that bestrides the known world like a colossus. No man can withstand Rome. No nation can withstand her. How much less... a boy! Hmm? There is one way to deal with Rome, Antoninus. You must serve her. You must abase yourself before her. You must grovel at her feet. You must... love her. Isn't that so, Antoninus? Antoninus? Antoninus?
[approaches a balcony; looking toward Rome, as the garrison sets out; chuckles; turns around, and sees Antoninus gone]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Countdown to a Critical Moment
The Great Leslie
Thirty seven inches to go.
[measuring the iceberg]
Professor Fate
Oh, 37 inches to go. Huzzah! At the rate we've been melting, that's good for about one more week!
The Great Leslie
You'd better keep it to yourself.
Professor Fate
Oh, of course I'll keep it to myself. Until the water reaches my lower lip, and then I'm gonna mention it to SOMEBODY!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Challenge to Bravado and Courage
The Great Leslie
You talk a good fight, but when it comes down to it, you're as emancipated as a confirmed spinster in a knitting bee.
[to Maggie DuBois]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Deceptive Nature of Sidney Falco
J.J. Hunsecker
Mr. Falco, let it be said at once, is a man of 40 faces, not one - none too pretty, and all deceptive. You see that grin? That's the, eh, that's the Charming Street Urchin face. It's part of his helpless act: he throws himself upon your mercy. He's got a half-dozen faces for the ladies. But the one I like, the really cute one, is the quick, dependable chap. Nothing he won't do for you in a pinch - so he says. Mr. Falco, whom I did not invite to sit at this table tonight, is a hungry press agent, and fully up to all the tricks of his very slimy trade.
J.J. Hunsecker
Match me, Sidney.
Sidney Falco
Not right this minute, J.J.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Aspirations for Success and Recognition
Sally
But Sidney, you make a living. Where do you want to get?
Sidney Falco
Way up high, Sam, where it's always balmy. Where no one snaps his fingers and says, "Hey, Shrimp, rack the balls!" Or, "Hey, mouse, mouse, go out and buy me a pack of butts." I don't want tips from the kitty. I'm in the big game with the big players... In brief, from now on, the best of everything is good enough for me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Guest in the Car
Professor Fate
My apologies, there's a polar bear in our car.
The Great Leslie
If you don't leave this car immediately, I shall personally feed you to the bear.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring Friendship and Perception of Morality
Sidney Falco
He thinks J.J.'s some kind of a monster...
Susan Hunsecker
Don't you?
Sidney Falco
Susie, J.J. happens to be one of my very best friends!
Susan Hunsecker
I know. But someday I'd like to look into your clever little mind and see what you really think of him.
Sidney Falco
Where do you come off, making a remark like that?
Susan Hunsecker
Who could love a man who makes you jump through burning hoops like a trained poodle?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Complexity of Integrity in Relationships
J.J. Hunsecker
What's this boy got that Susie likes?
Sidney Falco
Integrity - acute, like indigestion.
J.J. Hunsecker
What does that mean - integrity?
Sidney Falco
A pocket fulla firecrackers - looking for a match! It's a new wrinkle, to tell the truth... I never thought I'd make a killing on some guy's "integrity.
[grinning]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.