The Million Dollar Duck - A Lawyer's Absurd Quest for a Golden Duck
Fred Hines: [to the viewers; on Albert; one second pause; barks 3 times to look for Charley]
Wait. What am I doin'? A sane adult with a law degree, crawling outta the barnyard, barking at fowls, tryin to find some stupid duck who lays solid go.... Solid gold eggs!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Million Dollar Duck - A Proposal for Cost Savings
Fred Hines:
Look Al, sweetheart. I'm only trying to save you money. I mean by making me a partner, you'll save paying me all those exorbitant lawyer's fees.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy - Belief in the Spirit World Discussed by Doctors
Maxwell:
I'm a doctor and I believe in the spirit world.
Andrew:
Oh, you have to, Maxwell, that's where all your patients end up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy - A Humorous Exchange on Flying and Medicine
Maxwell:
Andrew, are you all right?
Andrew:
Maxwell, I think I fractured my last remaining nose.
Maxwell:
You shouldn't fly. You're a mammal.
Andrew:
Thank you, Maxwell. A doctor with a license is no smarter.
Maxwell:
He never tires of insulting me, but when he's sick...
Andrew:
Yeah? Who overcharges me?
Maxwell:
But you always get well, don't you, Andrew?
Andrew:
I would get well anyhow, Maxwell, even without the leeches.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Play It Again, Sam - Skepticism About Identity in Conversation
Dick Christie:
Who were those guys?
Allan Felix:
Oh, they said they were hairdressers, hard to believe though.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Play It Again, Sam - Marriage Advice with a Twist of Humor
Dick Christie: [to Allan Felix and Diane Christie]
The two of you should get married and move into a hospital.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.














