Memorable Quotes from Wallace Shawn
8 quotesUnexpected Conversations About Relationships and Trust
Tara
God, you're such a good squeezer, Nancy.
Herman
I don't want it tickety boo, I want it tickety now!
Officer Dan
It's my experience that wives don't accidentally shoot their husbands in the penis.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mission to Dismantle Capitalism and Authority
Baron Von Westphalen
Our mission is to destroy Capitalism, dethrone God.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Contractual Disputes and Margins of Error
Baron Von Westphalen
Clearly your attorneys didn't read the whole contract. It stipulates a six-inch margin of error in the cutting radius!
[after Serpentine cuts off Takehashi's hand]
Hideo Takehashi
Contract said finger only!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Passage of Time and Its Impact
Masked Avenger
I wonder if future generations will ever even hear about us. It's not likely. After enough time, everything passes. I don't care how big we are or how important are our lives.
Rocco
This is a coincidence. I meet nobody from the old neighborhood in years. I finally do, and I gotta kill her.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring Perpetual Motion and Quantum Transport
Dr. Linda Lao
Have you built the world's first perpetual motion machine?
Baron Von Westphalen
The ocean is a perpetual motion machine. Fluid Karma is a simulation of the principles you see working right here. As long as the waves continue to crash, Fluid Karma will exist.
Dr. Katarina Kuntzler
Quantum teleportation.
Dr. Linda Lao
Explain the transport mechanism, that's all I'm asking.
Dr. Soberin Exx
Uh, Fluid Karma works via the principle of quantum entanglement. Particles thus entangled will behave identically.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perspectives on Life and Relationships in Divorce
Ted
Criminal lawyers see bad people at their best, divorce lawyers see good people at their worst.
Frank
Charlie, what you're going through now is going to be horrible, but it will be over. Fuck as many people as you can right now. Women, men. Take what I said seriously.
Sandra
Even though I am 64 and have a dead gay husband, I manage to get up every day, live my life, and feel pretty good about myself.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inquiry about the Celebrity Scene page
Herman
Nancy, did you finish the Celebrity Scene page?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Seeking an Escape from the Haunted Mansion
Megan
But how do we get out of here?
Jim
Yeah, how do we get out of here?
Ezra
Well... um.... there's always... my way!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.