W

Walter Sittler Quotes

Actor

Memorable Quotes from Walter Sittler

1 quote
EuroTrip
Friendship and Support in Awkward Moments
Scott This is Mieke's apartment building. Wish me all sorts of luck, guys.
Jenny You'll do great, Scotty.
Scott Thanks.
Cooper I came all this way. I'm not gonna miss this. Dude, Mieke's hideous! Run!
[''Grandmother greets door'']
Scott Stop. Hi, my name is Scott Thomas. I'm from America, and I'm here to see Mieke.
[''Mieke's father appears'']
Mieke's father I'm sorry, but Mieke's not here.
Scott Do you know where she is?
Mieke's father She's gone for the summer.
Mieke's father My daughter had intended to spend the summer in America, looking at colleges and visiting some friends. But several days ago, she suddenly changed her mind. She would not tell me why.
Scott I think I know why.
Mieke's father This is Heinrich. He's Mieke's stepbrother. As I was saying, she packed up her bag and left. It was all very sudden.
Scott Do you know where she is now?
Mieke's father She's always been very interested in the classics, Greek and Roman literature, history, and she's always enjoyed the ocean, so she found a program that combines all her interests.
Scott Do you know where she is?
Mieke's father She enrolled in a summer at sea program, based in ].
[[w:Rome|Rome]
Scott Rome. Okay, then I guess we'll go to Rome, then.
Mieke's father Unfortunately, Mieke's only in Rome for orientation. Tomorrow her group boards a boat and she'll be gone for the summer. She'll be quite unreachable.
Scott Unreachable.
Mieke's father Mieke's tour group goes to the Vatican tomorrow, then she gets on that boat and she's gone.
Scott So, it's over?
Scott Thanks for sticking with me through this, guys, but... you should probably call your parents, have them wire you some money and go home.
Jamie What are you gonna do?
Scott I'm going to Rome. I'll walk, I'll hitchhike, I'll swim if I have to, but I'll get to Mieke somehow.
Jamie Maybe that'll help.
Scott Where'd you get all that? Wait. Where's your Leica?
Jamie Sold it.
Scott What? You sold your Leica? But you loved that thing. What about your Europe photo tour, the chateaus?
Jamie Chateaus have been there for 300 years. Mieke's gone in 12 hours. Let's go! Frommer's says check in three hours before international flights.
Scott Come here, guidebook!
Jamie Whoo! We're going to Rome. We're going to Rome!
Tour guide All right, summer at sea group. Our tour begins in the Vatican museum. This way, please.
Scott There it is.
Swiss guard This entrance is for private tour groups only.
Jenny Oh... but we are a private tour group. We've come all the way from America. That guy in the orange jacket is mentally retarded.
[''Cooper struggles with his ice cream cone'']
Swiss guard Si, I can tell. How very, very sad.
Jenny Yes, it is.
Swiss guard But if you are a tour, where is your guide?
Jenny We've got a fantastic tour guide. Right here.
Jamie What? No... The Vatican has been used as a papal residence ever since the time of ] of the ]!
[[w:Constantine the Great|Constantine the Great; [w:5th century|5th century A.D.]
Swiss guard Oh. Okay... um... if you'll all follow me, please. Have a very special day for a very special little man.
Cooper Okay. I can't believe that guy let us in. What a retard!
Swiss guard Scusate. One of our English-speaking tour guides has called in sick. Could you please take these peoples also?
[''To Jamie''; ''Points to a tour group'']
Tourist 1 How big is Vatican City?
Jenny We've got a fantastic tour guide. Right here.
Jamie 0.5 square kilometers.
Tourist 2 Who built the colonnades?
Jamie ], ].
[[w:Gianlorenzo Bernini|Gianlorenzo Bernini; [w:1656|1656]
Tourist 3 Where are the bathrooms?
Jamie Floors 6 and 7. Next I'll take you to where ] elects a new pope. When this happens, white smoke is sent up from the Vatican. Here's a fun fact...
[[w:College of Cardinals|the College of Cardinals]
Scott Mieke must be around here somewhere. Let's go.
Tour guide Behind me is ], or "papal apartment." We're obviously not permitted.
[[w:Papal apartments|the appartamento papale]
Mieke Excuse me, miss. What is this?
Tour guide That is the bell of San Marco. When the pope dies, the Cardinal Vicar of Rome rings this bell to notify the people of Rome. Next we will view ]. Follow me, please.
[[w:Sistine Chapel|the Sistine Chapel]
Cooper Come on. I think I hear them.
Scott Which way did they go?
Cooper That way. I'd stake my reputation on it.
Scott Good enough for me.
Cooper Hey, check it out! I wonder what this does.
[''Pull's on bell rope'']
Scott It doesn't do anything, it's a rope. Come on, let's go.
[''They walk into Papal Chambers'']
Cooper They got a lot of old stuff here.
St. Peter's square man Dio mio! The bell of San Marco! The pope is dead!
Scott Whoa. She's not in here. Let's go. We're definitely not supposed to be in here.
Cooper Hey, check this out! I'm the pope!
[''Puts on a [[w:mitre|pope mitre]
Scott Cooper... take off the pope hat.
Cooper Oh, no. It's okay. I'm catholic.
Scott Take it off, goddamnit!
Cooper Oh, you took the Lord's name in vain! Only I can forgive you now, my son.
Scott Take that fudging thing off!
Cooper The pope breaks an open-field tackle. It's a Hail Mary, he catches at the forty...the thirty...the twenty...the ten...touchdown, Pope! The pope makes a two-point conversion. And oh, my Lord! It's the Pope, eight, and the heathens, nothing! How's you, sucka?
[''Puts a mitre on Scott'']
Scott Cooper, the hat! The hat! The hat is on fire!
[''Points to Cooper's hat'']
Cooper ]
[[w:The Roof Is on Fire|"We don't need no water let the m... "]
Scott I'm not kidding! Look!
Cooper Oh, holy shit!
Scott I don't want this! Fireplace! Fireplace! Go, go!
[''Cooper throws hat into fireplace'']
Cooper and Scott Whoa!
St. Peter's square man White smoke! They've elected the new pope!
Newscaster I'm coming to you live from Vatican Square where the College of Cardinals, in a surprise move, has just elected a new pope. The crowd is very excited.
Jamie This is so strange. Usually they wait 15 days to elect a new pope. We could be seeing history in the making!
Jenny We could be seeing an arrest in the making.
Scott There she is. Mieke! Hey! Stupid curtain! Let me out! Mieke!
[''Spots Mieke in the square from window'']
St. Peter's square man It's the new pope!
Scott Mieke! Hold on!
[''After he disguised as the pope, he leaps onto a banner curtain'']
St. Peter's square man This is one crazy pope.
Swiss guard You! Ferma! Stop! You! You... and your retarded friend, you're in big, big trouble.
Maynard Oy! Take your mitts off them boys! They're with me! I've just about had enough of you fuckin ities!
Swiss guard But I am Swiss!
Maynard Them, too! Now, bud... you get in there, and you say what you got to say.
[''Puts arm on Scott's shoulders'']
Scott Mieke. I'm here. I made it.
Mieke Who are you?
Bert What a fucking loser! I'm gonna videotape this.
Scott I'm Scott.
Mieke From Ohio? Scott? Scott Thomas?
Scott Yes.
Mieke From Ohio? What are you doing in Rome?
Scott I came here to be with you. Listen, I just traveled all the way across Europe. I got chased by naked men. I ate brownies with absolutely no drugs in them. I watched a brother and sister make out. I kicked a robot in the balls, but I did it all so that... so I could tell you one thing. I love you, Mieke.
Crowd Aww...
Scott We're perfect for each other. What do you think?
Mieke I think...
Scott Oh, Mike... Mieke!
Old woman confessor Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have cheated on my husband. Do you think God will ever forgive me?
Mieke Oh, yes!
Old woman confessor Father?
Cooper This sucks. I can't believe I'm the only one who didn't hook up while we were here. Europe is officially the worst country on Earth.
Jenny I know. I thought I'd at least get to have some crazy European sex.
Cooper What?
Mieke Scott, I have to go.
Scott Okay.
Mieke My boat is leaving. I still can't believe you came all the way here, just for me.
Scott What can I say? I'm very unpredictable.
Mieke Keep writing to me, Scott, OK?
Scott Yeah, I will.
Mieke Go.
Scott Bye. Yes! Yes! Yes! Whoo-hoo!
Scott Hey, guys, I'm so glad we got to take this trip together. This was the best time of my life.
Arthur Excuse me. You're the young man who gave me that tour of the Vatican, aren't you?
Jamie Listen, I'm very sorry...
Arthur I just wanted to thank you. You were the most knowledgeable, albeit idiosyncratic, tour guide I've ever had.
Jamie Thanks. But I'm not actually a tour guide. I've just read Frommer's enough to have it memorized. Although I threw in a few things Frommer's didn't know about.
Arthur How would you like to add them?
Jamie Excuse me?
Arthur That's my guidebook. I'm Arthur Frommer.
[''Hands Jamie his [[w:business card|business card]
Jamie It's amazing! Frommer's is going to pay me to see every museum and cathedral in Europe.
Jenny That sounds so exciting... for you.
Scott I figured, since you're going to be staying, you might need this. A disposable camera. That's right.
Jamie Thanks, Scotty.
Scott That's from both of us.
Cooper Hello, Mr. Walters. I see. Fired? Well, I... Well, if that's what you want, I understand. I just... goodbye, sir.
[''Answers phone'']
Scott They had to catch you eventually, right?
Cooper No, they fired Humphrey.
Scott Shut up!
Cooper I got his office and a raise.
Jenny No!
PA Announcer Flight from Rome to ]...
[[w:Cleveland|Cleveland]
Jamie That's you guys. Have a good flight, everybody.
Scott Come here.
[''They hug'']
Jamie Be good. Oh! Okay... Cooper, have a good flight. Be good.
Cooper Thanks. I'm on it.
Cooper This still counts as Europe, right?
[''In the toilet'']
Scott Dear Mieke, Greece sounds incredible. I just moved into my dorm room today, but I can't wait to see you over Christmas break. This time I think I'll fly to Berlin direct." Hello?
[''Typing e-mail''; ''Answers phone'']
Cooper Hey, buddy, how's college?
[''Walking across campus quad'']
Scott I just got here. My roommate hasn't even showed up yet.
Cooper Do they room all you ] together?
[[w:Pre-medical|pre-med geeks]
Scott I'm not sure I'm going pre-med. I'm thinking about majoring in German.
Cooper German? I've got a better idea. Why don't you major in not being such a woman?
Scott So, how's Jenny?
Cooper Jenny... Jenny who? I know a lot of ladies named Jenny, they're all... ow!
[''Jenny slaps him on the head from off-camera and takes his phone'']
Jenny Hey, Scotty, what's up?
Scott Hi, Jenny! How's Jamie doing with Frommer?
Cooper Oh, no. Hold on. Come here, robot!
[''Cooper has spotted a gold-colored busker performing a robot dance'']
Jenny Cooper, not again!
Scott Hold on, this could be my new roommate.
[''Hears a knock on his dorm door''; ''Opens door to Mieke'']
Cooper What's the freak look like? Is he a dork or is he cool? Better not be cooler than me. Is he bigger than me?
[''With the busker in a head-lock and Jenny holding up phone to him'']
Mieke I just got your last email.
Scott What are you doing here?
Mieke Going to college.
Scott You're going to college here? What dorm?
Mieke This one. Room 214.
Scott How is this possible?
Mieke I guess they thought I was a guy.
Scott Now who would be dumb enough to make a mistake like that?
Cooper Do I hear kissing? Are you making out with your new roommate, Scotty? Scotty?! Scotty?! Scotty!
Green Fairy hallucination This happy ending is bullshit. When does the fairy get laid? I'm outta here.
Father Catchy tune.
Bert Fuckin'-a, man.
Amsterdam hostel concierge woman Hello, and welcome to Amsterdam's finest and most luxurious youth hostel.
Scott Sounds great.
Amsterdam hostel concierge woman There is no bathroom, nor is there one nearby. Sorry. Get it?
Scott She got it.
Amsterdam hostel concierge woman If you do not wish to have your valuables stolen, I suggest destroying them or discarding them right now. You can also try hiding your valuables... in your anus.
Madame Vandersexxx Drink? I'm gonna rip away his pants and look at his dick, Okay? Ready?
Cooper Quit.
Madame Vandersexxx Shut up. Sorry. I know I fucked it up. Yes! You take her hair... and one strand at a time, pull it out! Use her like a humping post!
Cooper Jenny, this is Europe. They have orange juice ads with lesbians and dildos. Show them something they haven't seen.
Amsterdam hostel concierge woman Should a fire occur, due to our faulty wiring, or the fireworks factory upstairs, you will be incinerated, along with the valuables you have hidden in your anus.
Jenny Hey! Check these out! I'm eighteen-years-old!
[''Jumping up and down topless on highway shoulder with back to camera'']
Candy Is it off yet?
Cooper No, keep rubbing it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.