Memorable Quotes from William H. Macy
39 quotesThe Intersection of Divinity and Sexuality
Father Brendan
It's amazing to me how often God is brought into the sex act. I understand even among non-believers the most common expression of sexual ecstasy is "Oh, God!
[to Mark O'Brien]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Interconnectedness of Our Actions
Arn Peeples
The world is intricately stitched together, boys. Every thread we pull, we will not know how it affects the design of things.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Burden of Intelligence and Dullness
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
I used to be smart, but now I'm just stupid.
Thurston Howell
Brad, dear, who was it that said..."A man of ] has seldom been ruined but by himself"?
[[genius]
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
... Samuel Johnson...
[quietly; to himself]
Thurston Howell
It was the lovely ]! Who also spoke of a fellow "who was not only dull... but a cause of dullness in others.
[[Samuel Johnson]
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
The cause of dullness in others.
Thurston Howell
Picky picky!
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
Let me tell you this; Samuel Johnson never had his life shit on... and taken from him, and his money stolen! Who took his life and his money? His parents? His mommy, and daddy? Make him live this life like this... A man of genius who gets shit on as a child!... and that scars! That hurts! Have you ever been hit by ]? It hurts. It doesn't happen to everyone. It's an electrical charge. It finds its way across the ]... and it lands in your ], and your ]! And as for ruined, but by himself... not if his parents took his freaking life... and his money, and tell you to do this... and to do that, and if you don't...!
[[lightning; [universe; [body; [head]
Smiling Peanut Patron #1
Your parents took your money you won on that game show?
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
Yes! They did. What does that mean, a spoke in the wheel?
[to Thurston]
Thurston Howell
Things go round and round, don't they?
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
Yes, they do... They do. But I'll make my ] come true.
[[dreams]
Thurston Howell
Sounds sad as a weeping willow.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
I used to be smart. But now I'm just ].
[[stupid]
Thurston Howell
Shall we drink to that?
[raising his glass]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Hard Truth About Compromise
Tim Sullivan
Bob, I'm gonna tell you what the old whore said, and this is the truest thing I know: "When you start cumming with the customers, it's time to quit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Business Discussion Among Three Characters
Jerry Lundegaard
How ya doin there, Stan? How are ya, Wade?
Stan Grossman
Good to see ya again, Jerr'. If these numbers are right, this looks pretty sweet.
Jerry Lundegaard
Oh, those numbers are right, all right. Believe me.
Wade Gustafson
This is doable.
Stan Grossman
Congratulations, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard
Yah, thanks, Stan, it's a pretty--
Wade Gustafson
What kind of finder's fee were you looking for?
Jerry Lundegaard
Huh?
Stan Grossman
The financials are pretty thorough, so the only thing we don't know is your fee.
Jerry Lundegaard
My fee? Wade, what the heck're you talkin about?
Wade Gustafson
Stan and I're okay.
Jerry Lundegaard
Yah.
Wade Gustafson
We're good to loan in.
Jerry Lundegaard
Yah.
Wade Gustafson
But we never talked about your fee for bringin it to us.
Jerry Lundegaard
No, but, Wade, see, I was bringin you this deal for you to loan me the money to put in. It's my deal here, see?
Stan Grossman
Jerry, we thought you were bringin us an investment.
Jerry Lundegaard
Yah, right.
Stan Grossman
You're sayin'... What're you sayin'?
Wade Gustafson
You're sayin that we put in all the money and you collect when it pays off?
Jerry Lundegaard
No, no. I- I d, pay you back the principal, and interest. Heck, I'd go one over prime?
Stan Grossman
We're not a bank, Jerry.
Wade Gustafson
What the heck, Jerry, if I wanted bank interest on seven hundred fifty thousand I'd go to ]. Talk to Bill Diehl.
[[w:Midwest Federal Savings & Loan|Midwest Federal]
Stan Grossman
He's at Norstar.
Wade Gustafson
He's at--
Jerry Lundegaard
No, see, I don't need a finder's fee, I need a... finder's fee's, what, ten percent? Heck, that's not gonna do it for me. I need the principal!
Stan Grossman
Jerry, we're not just going to give you seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars!
Wade Gustafson
What the heck were you thinkin'? Heck, if I'm only gettin bank interest, I'd look for complete security. Heck, FDIC. I don't see nothin like that here.
Jerry Lundegaard
Yah, but I... Okay, I would, I'd guarantee ya your money back.
Wade Gustafson
I'm not talkin about your damn word, Jerry! Geez, what the heck're you--
Stan Grossman
We’re not a bank, Jerry.
Wade Gustafson
Well, look, I don't want to cut you out of the loop, but this here's a good deal. I assume, if you're not interested, you won't mind if we move on it. Independently.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Duality of Nature and Conflict
Arn Peeples
A tree was a friend if you let it alone. But the second the blade bit in, you had yourself a war and the tree was a killer.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Urgent plea for limited communication options
Paul Kirby
Turn off the power. You've got juice for maybe one call. Whatever you do, don't call the ]. They won't do a damn thing.
[to Dr. Grant about the satellite phone; [w:U.S. Embassy|U.S. Embassy]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Negotiating Support for a Dangerous Expedition
Paul Kirby
I've made a lot of friends in high places. In this case, the Costa Rican government.
Amanda Kirby
Dr. Grant, you have no idea how important it is to us that you come along. It would make all the difference.
Alan
Mrs. Kirby, I...I...
Paul
And of course, we'd love to make a contribution to your research here. So... I could write all kinds of numbers on this check, Dr. Grant. Tell me...what's it gonna take?
[pulls out a checkbook]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing Troubles with Optimism and Action
Tim Sullivan
Hey, you got some... you got some heavy troubles on your mind? Huh, babe? We'll work it out. We'll play some cops and robbers. We'll bust this big criminal. We'll swagger around.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embrace the Present for a Better Future
Trevathan
You gotta stop thinking about the way things were and start thinking about the way they are. This is a good life, and you have a chance to be a part of it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tension Between Colleagues in Law Enforcement
Tim Sullivan
What is this?
Bobby Gold
That's the strap the guy tore off my holster.
Tim Sullivan
Well, go get it fixed, will ya? Go take a cooling walk- somethin'.
Bobby Gold
You mad at me?
Tim Sullivan
Yeah, I'm mad at you! I'm not gonna invite you to my birthday party! You dumb kike. Go get your holster fixed.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion About Line Order
Bob Barrenger
I know my lines.
Walt Price
You do?
Bob Barrenger
I just don't know what order they come in.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns Over Animal Safety in Filmmaking
Walt Price
How are we coming with the dead horse scene?
Marty Rossen
You can't actually kill the horse.
Walt Price
Aw, fuck me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Truth and Fiction in Storytelling
Walt Price
It's not a lie. It's a gift for fiction.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Aircraft Maneuvering Under Threat
F-15 Pilot
Sir, pull up! You've got one on your tail.
President James Marshall
Get him off my tail!
F-15 Pilot
Missile away. Air Force One, break left and climb!
Major Caldwell
Sir, we've lost countermeasures!
F-15 Pilot
This is Halo-2. They've lost countermeasures. I'm going in.
[Takes the missile for Air Force One]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion of Emotions and Isolation
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
I'm sick... I'm sick here now. I confuse melancholy with depression sometimes. You see?
Thurston Howell
Why don't you run along now, friend? Your dessert is getting cold.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
I'm sick.
Thurston Howell
Stay that way.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
I'm sick, and I'm in love.
Thurston Howell
You seem the sort of person who confuses the two.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
That's right! That's the first time you've been right. I confuse the two, and I don't care! I love you. I love you, and I'm sick. I'll talk to you - I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'm getting corrective oral surgery tomorrow... for my teeth. I love you, Brad. Brad the bartender. You want to love me back? I'll be good to you. I'll be goddamn good for you. I won't be mad if you don't know who said what. I won't punish you if you get the answer wrong. I can teach you, and tell you...
[to Brad]
Thurston Howell
Brad, you have a special secret crush over there, I think. Don't treat him too lovely. He might get hurt...
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
You, shut up! Mind your own business!
Thurston Howell
Gently, son!
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
Brad, I know you don't love me now.
Thurston Howell
It's a dangerous thing to confuse children with ].
[[angels]
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
Brad, I know you don't love me now...You wanna know the common element for the entire group like he asked? I'll tell you the answer: I'll tell you cause I had that one. I had that question. Carbon. Carbon. In pencil lead, it's in the form of graphite. In coal, it's mixed up with other impurities and in the diamond, it's in hard form. Well, all we really wanted to know was the common element, Donnie, but thank you for all that unnecessary knowledge. Ha, ha, kids! Head's so full of useless knowledge. Thank you. Thank you. And the book says: We may be through with the ], but the past is not through with us! And no, it is not dangerous to confuse children with angels!
[pointing to the TV; in the voice of Jimmy Gator, the TV quiz show announcer; [past; To Howell]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Conversations on Comfort and Desire
Father Brendan
I'm flabbergasted.
Mark O'Brien
She adores me. She'll do anything for me, and I can get pretty kinky sometimes.
Father Brendan
Here I was, ready to offer comfort to the forlorn. That's supposed to be my specialty. Now I guess I can throw away that little speech.
Mark O'Brien
No, no. Please make the little speech. I'd love to hear it.
Father Brendan
Okay, fine. Here it goes. The meaning of love. Love is a journey.
Mark O'Brien
I like it already.
Father Brendan
That’s it. That’s all I’ve got. I told you it’s short. Love is a journey.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Connections in Every Smiling Face
Arn Peeples
My family is everywhere there's a smiling face. Never been somewhere I didn't have some family there.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Right to Make a Movie
Walt Price
This is what my people died for... the right to make a movie in this town.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Desperate Call for Help
Jerry Lundegaard
Yah, Wade, It's Jerry, I... Yah, Wade, it's, I, it's Jerry... I don't know what to do it's Jean. I don't know what to do it's my wife. I don't know what to do it's Jean. Wade, it's Jerry, I... Wade, it's Jerry! We gotta talk! Oh, geez, it's terrible... Yah, Wade Gustafson, please.
[''Practices calling Wade''; ''calls the number'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Loyalty and Racial Tensions
Bobby Gold
Man's got no call to question my loyalty.
Tim Sullivan
How's your head?
Bobby Gold
He had no fuckin call to get racial on me.
Tim Sullivan
So he called you one, you called him one. We get to the gym...
Bobby Gold
Sonofabitch is gonna go.
Tim Sullivan
Yeah, I feel it too.
Bobby Gold
Piece'a cake.
Tim Sullivan
Either piece'a cake or a slice'a life, you notice that?
Bobby Gold
Yeah, I've remarked that, ain't that the truth?
Tim Sullivan
That is the truth.
Bobby Gold
We could've brought the sonofabitch with a knock onna door.
Tim Sullivan
Well let's go bring him in then.
Bobby Gold
That's right.
Tim Sullivan
Garner summa them kudos n all that they got.
Bobby Gold
That's right. FBI, man...
Tim Sullivan
That's right.
Bobby Gold
FBI could fuck up a baked potato.
Tim Sullivan
F-B-I, couldn't find ] inna bowl of rice. Know what's needed here?
[[Joe Louis]
Bobby Gold
What, Sully?
Tim Sullivan
Police work.
Bobby Gold
Yeah. Summa that police work that people talk about.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Costume Discussion in Film Production Scene
Decorator
Do you want to see the firemen's costumes? Because I found this mole skin for the color...
Production Assistant
Marty Rossen has touched down
Walt Price
Okay.
Decorator
It's not black but it looks black. It's not brown...
Walt Price
Yep, it's faggy without being homosexual.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Blessing of Reconnecting with Others
Arn Peeples
Not to many folks I cross paths with more than once in this life. I see it is a blessing when they're brought back around.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Politics and Prejudice in Homicide
Bobby Gold
What happened to the job?
Tim Sullivan
Mm.
Bobby Gold
Fuckin politics, man, nuthin but politics. Motherfucker called me a kike...
Tim Sullivan
I heard im.
Bobby Gold
Job's changed. It ain't the same job.
Tim Sullivan
Job's the same...
Bobby Gold
Yeah?
Tim Sullivan
People dyin', people killin em. How's your head? Sonofabitch whopped you a good one.
Bobby Gold
Yeah.
Tim Sullivan
We get to the gym... that sonofabitch whopped you mean, you're gi'in a, bump on there. Here, uh... put the, put the meat on it, from my lunch. Put the meat on it.
Bobby Gold
You're kiddin'...
Tim Sullivan
Nah, it's... draw it. Really.
Bobby Gold
Hey what dont'chu know?
Tim Sullivan
Innit?
Bobby Gold
You are one smart Indian.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Nostalgia for a Past Relationship
Tim Sullivan
Hey Bobby? Remember that girl?
[dying]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Dilemma of Innocence in Law
Frank Levin
Jesus, Mick, are you starting to think Louis is innocent?
Mickey Haller
He just might be. Besides, you know what my father always said about an innocent client.
Frank Levin
No, I've never heard this. Hi...
Maggie McPherson
He said there's no client as scary as an innocent man'.
Mickey Haller
That's right. Cos if you screw up and he goes to prison... You're never gonna be able to live with yourself.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Costume Design in State and Main
Walt Price
Who designed these costumes? It looks like ] puked, and that puke designed these costumes.
[[w:Edith Head|Edith Head]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Confession Request and Understanding Response
Father Brendan
I understand you'd like me to hear your confession.
Mark O'Brien
Yes, I would. I told my attendant to come back in half an hour. Is that okay?
Father Brendan
I'm in no rush.
Mark O'Brien
I can be a bit time consuming, but I'm, uh, worth the trouble.
Father Brendan
I'm here for you, Mark.
Mark O'Brien
Okay, this is not exactly a confession. I haven't yet done the deed. I was hoping sort of hoping to get a quote in advance.
Father Brendan
What's on your mind?
Mark O'Brien
The most immediate thing on my mind would be one of my attendants, Joan. I'm thinking of getting rid of her. It's an evil thought, but I - I can't help it.
Father Brendan
Is she dishonest, or incompetent?
Mark O'Brien
No, neither of those. She looks at me the wrong way. It's that you-need-me-more-than-I-need-you look. I'd like to show her she's wrong, just for the evil satisfaction it will give me. Is that a sin, Father?
Father Brendan
Well, it obviously troubles you.
Mark O'Brien
Yes, it troubles me a lot because what if it's really just a power trip. You know? Me against her. Me against the world.
Father Brendan
I really wouldn't worry about that. The question is whether you like having her around.
Mark O'Brien
I can't stand her.
Father Brendan
Well, then get rid of her. If I were in a position to choose, I'd find someone nice. Even if it was a power trip.
Mark O'Brien
Then I have your blessing to fire her?
Father Brendan
Unofficially, yes.
Mark O'Brien
That's good enough for me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Determination to Find the Missing Child
Paul Kirby
We're gonna find him. You listening to me? We're gonna find him. The kid's got resources. Remember what it was like to try to ground him?
[to Amanda]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Discussion About Money and Friendship
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
You look like you have money in your pocket.
Thurston Howell
Maybe I'm just happy to see my friend Brad there.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
Just throw some money around. Money, money, money.
Thurston Howell
This sounds threatening.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
Do you have love in your heart?
Thurston Howell
I have love all over. I even have love for you, friend.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
Is it real love? The kind of love that makes you feel... that intangible joy... pit of your stomach... like a bucket of acid and nerves running around... making you hurt and happy and all over... You're head over heels?
Thurston Howell
You lost me with the last couple of cocktail words spoken my boy... but I believe it's that sort of love. Sounds nice to me.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
I have love.
Thurston Howell
A very chatty kind, indeed you do.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
No, I mean I'm telling you - I have love.
Thurston Howell
Yes, and I'm listening avidly, fella.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
My name is Donnie Smith, and I have lots of love to give.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Struggle for Meaning and Change
Mark O'Brien
I wanted to believe that because of Cheryl, my life had changed. But it hadn't. I just kept thinking, is that it? Is that all there is?
Father Brendan
I think you've done a great thing.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring Relationships and Spiritual Perspectives
Mark O'Brien
So, is it possible for me to know a woman in the biblical sense, so to speak? And - and do I want to find out?
Father Brendan
And you want my opinion?
Mark O'Brien
Please.
Father Brendan
In my heart, I feel like He'll give you a free pass on this one. Go for it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dark Humor in Despairing Conversation
Frank Levin
You're so vain. Nobody would care if you killed yourself.
[looking out of top floor window]
Mickey Haller
It'd look cool. What do you think the last thing to go through your mind would be?
Frank Levin
Your asshole.
Mickey Haller
Yeah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Tense Phone Conversation Among Characters
Jerry Lundegaard
Jerry Lundegaard.
Carl Showalter
All right, Jerry, you got this phone to yourself?
Jerry Lundegaard
Well... yah.
Carl Showalter
Know who this is?
Jerry Lundegaard
Well, yah, I got an idea. How's that Ciera workin out for ya?
Carl Showalter
Circumstances have changed, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard
Well... what do ya mean?
Carl Showalter
Things have changed. Circumstances, Jerry. Beyond the, uh, acts of God, force majeure-
Jerry Lundegaard
What the... how's Jean?
Carl Showalter
Who's Jean?
Jerry Lundegaard
My wife! What the- how's...
Carl Showalter
Oh, Jean's okay, but there's three people up in Brainerd who aren't so okay, I'll tell ya that.
Jerry Lundegaard
What the heck're you talkin about? Let's just finish up this deal here -
Carl Showalter
Blood has been shed, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard
What the heck ya mean?
Carl Showalter
Three people. In Brainerd.
Jerry Lundegaard
Oh, geez.
Carl Showalter
That's right and we need more money.
Jerry Lundegaard
The heck d'ya mean? What a you fellas get yourself mixed up in?
Carl Showalter
We need more -
Jerry Lundegaard
This was s'posed to be a no-rough-stuff-type deal...
Carl Showalter
DON'T EVER INTERRUPT ME, JERRY! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Jerry Lundegaard
Well, I'm sorry, but I just - I -
Carl Showalter
Look, I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry. The price is now the whole amount. We want the entire $80,000.
Jerry Lundegaard
Oh, for Christ sakes here...
Carl Showalter
Blood has been shed. We've incurred risks, Jerry. I'm coming into town tomorrow. Have the money ready.
Jerry Lundegaard
Now we had a deal. A deal's a deal.
Carl Showalter
Is it, Jerry? Why don't you ask those three poor souls in Brainerd if a deal's a deal. Go ahead, ask them!
Jerry Lundegaard
The heck do ya mean?
Carl Showalter
The heck ya mean?" I'll see you tomorrow.
[mimicking]
Jerry Lundegaard
YAH!
Reilly Deifenbach
Jerome Lundegaard?
Jerry Lundegaard
Yah.
Reilly Deifenbach
This is Reilly Deifenbach at GMAC. Sir, I have not yet received those vehicle ID's you promised me.
Jerry Lundegaard
Yah! I... Those are in the mail.
Reilly Deifenbach
That very well may be. I must inform you, however, that absent the receipt of those numbers by tomorrow afternoon, I will have to refer this matter to our legal department.
Jerry Lundegaard
Yah.
Reilly Deifenbach
My patience is at an end.
Jerry Lundegaard
Yah.
Reilly Deifenbach
Good day, sir.
Jerry Lundegaard
Yah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humanity's Illusion of Control and Power
Arn Peeples
We're but children on this earth pulling bolts out of the Ferris wheel, thinking ourselves to be gods.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Comedic Take on Gift Giving
Walt Price
What does he like?
Bill Smith
14-year-old girls.
Walt Price
Well, get him something else. We want to get out of this town alive. Get him half a 28-year-old girl. How's my math?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perceptions of Reality and Contentment
David's Mom
When your father was here, I used to think, "This was it." This is the way it was always going to be. I had the right house. I had the right car. I had the right ].
[[life]
David
There is no right house. There is no right car.
David's Mom
], my face must be a mess.
[[God]
David
It looks great.
David's Mom
Honey, it's really sweet of you, but I'm sure it does not look "great.
David
Sure it does. Come here.
David's Mom
I'm 40 years old. I mean, it's not supposed to be like this.
David
It's not supposed to be anything. Hold still.
David's Mom
How'd you get so smart all of a sudden?
David
I had a ] ].
[pause; [good; [day]
George Parker
So what's going to happen ]?
[[Present|now]
Betty Parker
I don't know. Do you know what's going to happen now?
George Parker
No ...I don't!
[laughing; scene pans from George's face to Betty's, and then back to where George just was — to reveal Bill Johnson]
Bill Johnson
I guess I don't either.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Rise of Credit Card Offers
James Gordon
Every credit card application we send in, we get two more in the mail. Here's one from some bank I've never heard of, in North Dakota. Fill it out. Fill them all in. It's the last great pyramid scheme in America.
[''to secretary'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cooperation in a Difficult Situation
Jerry Lundegaard
I answered the darn - I'm cooperating here!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.