25 quotes
Meeting Lonely Soldiers Far From Home
Ward Douglas
I don't know what they've told you down at the USO, but you're going to be meeting a lot of strange men. Men in uniform. Boys a long way from home, lonely, desperate. They really have one thing on their minds. Show them a good time.
[To Betty, before she leaves for the USO.]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gunfire Enthusiasm in a Chaotic Moment
Col. "Madman" Maddox
That's it, let me hear your guns!
Capt. "Wild" Bill Kelso
My guns?
Col. "Madman" Maddox
I wanna hear what they sound like, let me hear em! Yang yang yang yang yang yang!
Capt. "Wild" Bill Kelso
AHHHH!
[fires his airplane's guns]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Cost of Division Among Americans
Motor Sgt. Frank Tree
If there's one thing I can't stand seeing, it's Americans fighting Americans.
[Repeated line]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication During Military Training Session
PFC Foley
Now, Sarge. What is the loading and firing procedure for the 75-millimeter cannon?
Sgt. Frank Tree
There are five basic components...
[delirious]
PFC Foley
This is it, pay attention.
Sgt. Frank Tree
...to the new General Electric refrigerator: 1. The freon compressor, 2. The freon tube...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Lack of Bombers Leads to Trouble
Capt. Loomis Birkhead
Sir, you don't have any bombers here, do you, sir?
Col. "Madman" Maddox
Bombers? Son, if I had bombers I'd be bombin the hell out of them right now!
Donna Stratton
No planes?
[looking around; whispers to herself]
Capt. Loomis Birkhead
Boy, am I in trouble now...
[to himself]
Col. "Madman" Maddox
Hell, son, the only plane I've got around here is that old shit on a shingle trainer sittin right over there.
[signals for the laughing to stop]
Donna Stratton
It's fine, it's fine. Let's go!
[nodding]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defiant Introduction of Hollis P. Wood
Hollis P. "Holly" Wood
You sneaky little bastards aren't getting doodly shit from me. Except maybe my name, rank, and Social Security number: Wood, Hollis P., Lumberjack, Social Security 106-43-2185.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Looking Ahead to 1942 in the War
Sgt. Frank Tree
You know, this year wasn't the big year of the war, 41. I think the really big year is going to be 1942.
Gen. Joseph Stillwell
It's going to be a long war.
[sighs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unity and Resilience Amidst Adversity
Ward Douglas
Sir, I'd like to say something. We've been through a lot, all of us. We faced the enemy for the first time last night, right in our own backyards. We came together, put all our differences aside and carried on the true spirit of America. I think no matter what happens, what sacrifices we have to face, we can carry forward, like Americans. While we're doing our repairs here, I'm going to hang this wreath on my front door - this symbol of Christmas, this symbol of peace. I just want to remind us all that we're not going to let a bunch of treacherous enemy killjoys ruin our Christmas.
[To Gen. Stillwell; Hangs wreath on door. House falls off cliff]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
State of Insanity in 1941
Gen. Joseph Stilwell
This isn't the state of California, it's a state of insanity.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Unique Observation on Unconventional Behavior
Gen. Joseph Stilwell
That is the craziest son of a bitch I've ever seen.
[referring to "Wild Bill" Kelso]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Hilarious Showcase of Comedy
Taglines
A Comedy Spectacular!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Urgent Mission to Locate Japanese Submarine
Capt. "Wild" Bill Kelso
Kid, you got to get that sub.
Wally
What sub?
Capt. "Wild" Bill Kelso
The Jap sub.
Wally
Where?
Capt. "Wild" Bill Kelso
The ocean, lame-o.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Safety Instructions for Handling Ordnance
Sgt. Frank Tree
You shouldn't touch the ordnance at all. But more specifically, you should never pull this hand-operating lever to the rear.
Ward Douglas
Never.
Sgt. Frank Tree
Do not push a clip of ammunition down into the feed rollers here.
Ward Douglas
No, sir, never.
Sgt. Frank Tree
You never restore this lever to firing position. Do not make sure that this cover is completely closed.
Ward Douglas
No, sir.
Sgt. Frank Tree
Never depress operator's foot triggers here, here and at the rear here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Battle Without an Enemy
Taglines
As They Roared Into Battle, Only One Thing Was Missing...The Enemy!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation with a Nazi Allegiance
Hollis P. "Holly" Wood
Jesus Palomino, a Nazi! I knew it, you're all in cahoots! Well, let me tell you something, Mr. Heinie Kraut, I fought your kind in the ], and we kicked the living shit out of you!
[after seeing Captain von Kleinschmidt enter; [World War I|Great War]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Seeking a Distraction from Thoughts
Gen. Joseph Stilwell
Ah, ]. Sure be good to get my mind off things for a while.
[arriving at a movie theater; [Dumbo]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning the Presence of Bombs
Gen. Joseph Stilwell
Bombs! I don't hear any bombs! Now they're up there. They came all the way from Asia. Don't you think they'd bring a few bombs along? You can't have an air raid without bombs!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration and Defiance in Confrontation
Hollis P. "Holly" Wood
You ain't gettin shit out of me. I've been constipated all week and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Admiration for Donna Stratton's Aviation Passion
Capt. Loomis Birkhead
Is that the general's new secretary?
[kneeling down as he spots Donna from a distance]
Pvt. DuBois
Yeah, she just came in from HQ. Not bad, huh?
Capt. Loomis Birkhead
Not bad? She's a goddess, DuBois, a goddamn goddess! That is Donna Stratton! I knew her back in Washington. She has got this thing for planes.
Pvt. DuBois
One of those real high flying types, huh?
Capt. Loomis Birkhead
I've never seen anything like it... she's got planes on the brain!
Gen. Joseph W. Stilwell
Where's Birkhead? He's supposed to have my lunch.
[annoyed]
Donna Stratton
B-17. Mmm...
[whistling, dreamy]
Capt. Loomis Birkhead
No man has ever gotten to first base with her on the ground. But get her up in a plane, she'll bat your balls right out of the park.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Toast to Hollywood and Glory
Col. "Madman" Maddox
To Hollywood... and glory!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Power and Range of Capability
Capt. Loomis Birkhead
It's big. The biggest one here. You know what else? It's got a lot of range. You know what I mean by range, don't you? I mean, it can stay up for a long time. A very long time. And it's built firm and solid. Because it has to be. Because of its tremendous forward thrust. And when this baby delivers its payload... devastating.
[to Donna]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Plans and Reflections Amidst Chaos
PFC Foley
I'll tell you what we're gonna do: we're gonna go home, we're gonna paint the scratches on this tank, we're gonna put the sarge to bed and we're gonna forget this night ever happened!
Japanese soldier
We've got to figure out how to make these things smaller!
[trying to squeeze a large radio into the sub]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Chaos and Confusion in Every Direction
Raoul Lipschitz
Ladies and gentlemen, every where I look... soldiers are fighting sailors, sailors are fighting Marines! Directly in front of me, I see a flying blond floozy! Everywhere I look... everywhere, pure pandemonium... pandemonium!
[reporting over the radio on a riot at the USO]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Paranoia and Pandemonium Collide
Taglines
Paranoia meets pandemonium.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Hollywood's Presence Explained
Col. Akiro Mitamura
Where Hollywood?
Hollis P. Wood
Right here.
Col. Akiro Mitamura
What?
Hollis P. Wood
You're looking at him.
Col. Akiro Mitamura
Who?
Hollis P. Wood
Hollis Wood.
Col. Akiro Mitamura
Where?
Hollis P. Wood
I'm right here! Shoot, can't ya understand plain English?
Col. Akiro Mitamura
Hollywood?
Hollis P. Wood
Huh?
Col. Akiro Mitamura
Where?
Hollis P. Wood
Here!
Col. Akiro Mitamura
Look. Where Hollywood? North? South?
Hollis P. Wood
Oh! You want me to tell you where Hollywood is! Well, shoot, that's easy. Hollywood is... Oh, no, you don't. You thought you was gonna get me to show you where Hollywood was, didn't ya? Tried to sneak up on us, like ya did at Pearl Harbor! Bet you're gonna bomb John Wayne's house, ain't ya?
[suddenly, he realizes]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.