50/50 (2011) - Quotes

Struggles of Love and Illness

Adam: [crying] I want this to be over. I’m so fucking tired of being sick...if this surgery doesn’t work, that’s it -- I’ve never been to fucking Canada or told a girl I love her...it sounds stupid.

Katherine: No. It doesn’t.

Adam: I’m sorry I was such an asshole.

Katherine: I was the asshole. I was so totally unprepared - for you. This job is really hard. If I fuck up, I could ruin someone’s whole life.

Adam: I guess we’re both beginners at this.

Katherine: [smiles] Yeah.

Adam: What were you doing when I called? Were you on Facebook?

Katherine: You know... umm... stalking my ex-boyfriend actually isn't the only thing I do in my free time.

Adam: I wish you were my girlfriend.

Katherine: Girlfriends can be nice. You just had a bad one.

Adam: Yeah, but I bet you’d be a good one.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Family Communication and Emotional Disconnect

Adam: Okay... My mom is... I don't know. She's a crazy person. She just worries all day every day. And honestly, it annoys the shit out of me. It's way too much. And it's not helpful, and um, I can’t talk to her. I don't call her back. It's a problem.

Katherine: So she's got this husband who can't talk to her, and this son who won't?

Adam: Uh, yeah, I guess.

Katherine: Makes you kind of a dick.

Adam: [laughs, obviously surprised by her directness] Me? Is that, like, the medical term?

Katherine: Yeah, I mean, listen... You can't change who your parents are. The only thing you can change is how you choose to deal with that.

Adam: Aren’t you supposed to, like, subtly manipulate me into figuring this stuff out? Not just call me on my shit?

Katherine: Yeah, you cleaned my car. So, uh, we are completely beyond that.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Confrontation Amidst Cancer and Betrayal

Rachael: Adam - you have no idea how hard it’s been! I don’t know how to do this, and it’s been so stressful, and you’ve been so sick, and shit, you’re the one who told me Kyle keeps using your cancer to get girls! Why should I be the bad guy?

Kyle: Because you're his girlfriend, you cheated on him, and he has fucking cancer, you lunatic!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Revelation of Betrayal and Frustration

Kyle: I was in the neighborhood - I was just on a date with Claire, the girl I met at the bookstore? My date did not go well, unfortunately, due to a lack of chemistry... and, I think, an overuse of profanity on my part. But, whilst on my date... I ran into Rachael.

Adam: Oh, yeah?

Kyle: And I would like to present to you what I am going to call Exhibit...whore!

Kyle: Look at it! That's Rachael! And that's a fuckin filthy, Jesus-looking motherfucker, and they're kissing! I did it! I fuckin nailed you! I've hated you for months, and now I have fuckin evidence that you suck as a person! Holy shit! Holy shit!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Humor in Unconventional Grooming Choices

Adam: [after shaving his head] Why didn't we go to a barber?

Kyle: That would have been a good idea -- if we had paid someone to do it.

Adam: Instead of using your balls trimmer-

Kyle: And I never wash them, ever. And it’s not my balls, it’s my asshole....I’m joking...

Adam: You're not joking.

Kyle: Not at all.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Introduction of Characters Facing Cancer

Alan: I’m Alan Lombardo: stage 3 lymphoma. Pleased to meet you.

Mitch: Mitch Barnett, metastatic prostate cancer.

Adam: [[w:Malignant peripheral nerve sheath tumor|schwannoma neurofibrosarcoma] Oh, I’m Adam Lerner, ].

Alan: Whoa, what the fuck is that?

Mitch: Tough break. The more syllables, the worse it is.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Questioning a Risky Decision

Mitch: So you want to drive, right now?

Alan: Yeah.

Mitch: You sure that's what you want to do?

Mitch: That's your make-a-wish? To drive?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Disagreement Over Edible Treats

Alan: Want a macaroon?

Adam: Oh, thanks. I’m alright.

Alan: [leans forward and whispers] There’s weed in ‘em.

Adam: Oh, yeah, thank you, but I - I don’t do weed.

Alan: C’mon, man. Just get high with us!

Adam: Okay. Thanks.

Mitch: How old are you?

Adam: Twenty-seven.

Alan: That’s just the worst. A perfectly good youth wasted.

Mitch: Alan, stop it. Don’t listen to him, he's just messing with you.

Alan: Listen to me, this cancer is bullshit. First your hair’s going to fall out, then your balls’ll shrink. And if that isn’t enough, your dick becomes a constant source of disappointment.

Adam: I got to tell you, I was really nervous about this whole cancer thing, and then I met you guys, and boy do I feel better.

Diagnosis Revealed in Unexpected Conversation

Adam: A tumor?

Dr. Ross: Yes.

Adam: Me?

Dr. Ross: Yes.

Adam: That doesn't make any sense though. I mean... I don't smoke, I don't drink... I recycle...

Humor in Awkward Conversations About Relationships

Kyle: [about Rachael] Has she been sucking on your dick, giving you blow jobs?

Adam: No, she doesn’t like to.

Kyle: No fucking shit she doesn’t like to! Who likes putting dicks in their mouths? That’s why they call them jobs!

Questioning Life Choices and Aspirations

Kyle Hirons: [to Adam, the night before Adam's surgery] Driving! That’s what you want to do? That’s your “Make A Wish”? To drive? We could be having sex with hookers while skydiving, and instead you want to do something I learned to do when I was fifteen!

Optimistic Odds in Difficult Times

Kyle Hirons: [to Adam] You’ll be fine. 50/50! If you were a casino game you’d have the best odds!

Facing the Harsh Reality of Illness

Adam Lerner: [to Katherine] I’m sorry, but, I’m going to have to call you on that. It’s bullshit. That’s what everyone has been saying. “You’ll get better” and “It’ll be fine”. I don’t know why everyone is so fucking scared to say it. “You’re dying, dude”...It makes it worse.