32 quotes
Request for a final first kiss
Lucy Whitmore
Can I have one last first kiss?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Request for Toilet Paper
Old Hawaiian Man
Can I have that? I need something to wipe my ass with.
[About Henry's drawing on a napkin]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Aquariums and Unexpected Desires
Ula
Aquariums make me super horny.
[Pretending to be Lucy for the video]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Dishwasher Situation
Ula
Get your brother out of the dishwasher!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Turtle's Health Concerns in Conversation
Keanu Mokokokakoa
What's wrong with that turtle?
Henry
He has lung problems because he smoked too much turtle weed, which is bad for you. Right, Ula?
Ula
Wha? I don't smoke weed!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion About Attention and Perception
Old Hawaiian Man
Are you staring at me or her? Cause you're starting to freak me out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pool Cleaning and Dolphin Safety Considerations
Henry Roth
Hey, Ula! Get back to cleaning the pool! And if that's one of your special brownies, don't let any of the dolphins eat that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Desire for a Different Ending
Henry
I don't want it to end like this.
[begging Marlin to let Henry see Lucy and apologize after she ate at the diner]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Golf Mishap Description
Ula
Your golf ball hit the cart, bounced back and hit ya in the head. It was freakin hilarious.
[after Henry woke up dazed and confused]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Moment of Appreciation Between Two Characters
Henry
Appreciate your time. Not everybody would have stopped like you. You're real sweet.
Lucy
Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Henry
Okay.
Lucy
Okay.
Henry
Hah! I can't believe you fell for that!
Lucy
Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car...
Henry
Oh...I'm so sorry...I was just joking around.
Lucy
I can't believe you fell for THAT! HA HA!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Deprecation in Romantic Context
Henry Roth
Sorry I'm not better lookin’.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ula's Unfortunate Stitches and a Cat's Lick
Ula
I think I pulled out my stitches again, Cuz. You got a cat? Cause I feel somethin lickin me.
[falls through the deck of Henry's boat up to his chest; pause]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Preference for Sausage Over Taco
Alexa
I guess I prefer sausage to taco.
[After an aborted one-night stand with a woman]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration with Kids' Skills
Ula
You kids suck; you're good at everything!
[to his children]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character's Humorous Self-Description
Ula
My shirt size is medium husky.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Significance of a First Kiss
Lucy Whitmore
There's nothing like a first kiss..
[repeated line]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humor and Concern in Medical Recovery
Dr. Keats
Little Sammy Sosa's a bit shook up, but she'll be okay. She's watching the tape as we speak.
Henry
Good. How's my temporal lobe lookin there, Doc?
Dr. Keats
Don't worry. You're not gonna suffer any short term memory loss. But was your head shaped like an egg before she hit ya?
Doug
Hey! Don't make fun of Henry, all right? It'th not hith fault hith head'th thaped like that!
Dr. Keats
Note the intense overreaction. That's the roids talking. Douglas, once again, off the juice.
Doug
It'th not juithe! It'th a protein thake!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Update on Current Events
Update Video
Red Sox win World Series!... Just kidding.
Update Video
Schwarzenegger elected governor!... Not kidding.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Memory Issues Affect Job Performance
Security Guard 1
Hey Lucy, good to see you again!
Security Guard 1
What the hell is her problem?
Security Guard 2
She doesn't remember who you are, brah.
Security Guard 1
Oh, yeah. I suck at this job!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Introduction by Ten-Second Tom
Ten-Second Tom
Don't you think you're a little old to still be having wet dreams? (laughter) Hi, I'm Tom!
[at the Callahan Institute, to Doug]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sharks and Dogs: A Unique Comparison
Ula
Sharks are like dogs. They only bite when you touch their private parts.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Warning About Talking to Lucy
Nick
What did Sue say?
Henry
She said that if I talk to Lucy you'll kill me with a meat cleaver.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Memory Loss and Short-Term Challenges
Dr. Keats
Tom lost part of his brain in a hunting accident. His memory only lasts ten seconds.
Ten Second Tom
I was in an accident? That's terrible.
Dr. Keats
Don't worry, you're totally gonna get over it in about three seconds.
Ten Second Tom
Get over it? I mean, what happened? Did I get shot in the brain... Hi. I'm Tom.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concern Over Injuries and Future Plans
Keanu Mokokokakoa
Hey, Dad.
Ula
Not now, Keanu Mokokokakoa.
Keanu Mokokokakoa
But your stitches are bleeding.
Ula
It musta been my huge back swing. Honah Lee, you think you can stitch me up tonight after I get back from surfing?
[demonstrates a back swing with his club]
Henry
Yeah, I'm lookin’ forward to it.
Caddy
I wouldn't surf with a bleeding wound like that. You might attract a shark or something.
Ula
What's wrong with that, cuz? Sharks are naturally peaceful.
Caddy
Is that right? How'd you get that nasty cut anyway?
Ula
A shark bit me.
Caddy
Nice! Go smoke another one, bro!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Reflection on Life's Meaninglessness
Henry Roth
I have no life.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Over Spam in Hawaii
Old Hawaiian Man
That was pathetic.
Henry
Yeah? Why don't you choke on your Spam!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Shared Snack on a Safe Trip
Doug
Thith ith from Nick and Thue. They thend their betht witheth for a thafe trip.
[gives Henry a box]
Henry
That's very nice. Spam and Reese's. All right.
Doug
I love Thpam and Ree-thith, can I have it?
Henry
Um, I guess.
Marlin
Doug!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Introduction of Ten-Second Tom
Ten-Second Tom
Hi, I'm Tom!
[repeated line]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating New Relationships and First Impressions
Henry
It's gonna be ok, Luce.
[to Lucy]
Lucy
Don't call me Luce. I barely know you.
[to Henry]
Marlin
Sweetie, you're sorta dating him.
Henry
Yeah. Sorry I'm not better lookin’.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Playful Exchange Between Friends
Ula
Oh, you crazy bitch!
Lucy
Yeah, KEEP RUNNING!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Birthday Remark in 50 First Dates
Henry Roth
Happy birthday, sir. What are you, like, 200 today?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Food Sharing and Cultural Differences
Henry
Here, you should try this out. Put this here. Swivelly door. Waffleonians can come in and out now.
Lucy
Oh, are you from a country where it's okay to stick your fingers all over someone else's food?
Henry
Uh, no, I'm from this country. Were you gonna eat that?
[pause]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.