13 quotes
Concerns About a Student's Adjustment and Interests
Jackie Framm
I am concerned about him starting three months into the school year. He doesn't make friends very easily. Not that he's not friendly. It's just... Well, he doesn't talk much these days. You see, when his dad passed away last year...
Mrs. Pepper
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Jackie Framm
Thank you. It's been difficult. So, anyway, I used to spend a lot of time around here because my grandparents lived here. So I thought that the move would really be the best thing for us, especially for Josh.
Mrs. Pepper
I understand. I'm sure he's going to do very well here. But tell me about extracurricular programs. Does Josh have any interests or hobbies?
Jackie Framm
Well, he used to like to play basketball with his dad, but he's lost interest in that too.
Mrs. Pepper
Well, let's see. We have an excellent band.
Jackie Framm
Oh, I used to play the flute when I was his age. That was fun. I think an instrument would be just the thing!
Musical Band Teacher (cameo)
No, no, no. Don't blow so hard. Okay, blow a little harder.
[Josh is trying to play a trombone; Josh blows his trombone softer; Josh then blows the trombone's slide completely out; it falls to the ground, then other classmates and band members laugh at him]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concern Between Siblings in Air Bud
Josh Framm
Hey!
[grunting]
Jackie Framm
Josh!
Josh Framm
No!
Jackie Framm
Are you okay? Josh!
Josh Framm
I'm fine, Mom!
Jackie Framm
Josh? Josh! Is everything okay in here?
Josh Framm
Yeah, Mom. Everything's fine. Just doin my homework.
Jackie Framm
Why don't I take care of the laundry as long as I'm here?
Josh Framm
No! I'll do it later. You work so hard, Mom. It'll be good for me.
Jackie Framm
Hello? Yes, this is Mrs. Framm. Yes, my son put up those flyers. Oh, no, no. I'm sure he didn't mean to put one up on private property. Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh.
Josh Framm
Yeah!
[dog whimpering]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concern and Response Between Mother and Daughter
Jackie Framm
You okay? You okay, sweetie? You okay?
[in the car, and Andrea Framm crying]
Andrea Framm
No!!
[in the car seat]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Custody Dispute Over Dog in Court
Judge Cranfield
By the powers vested in me, I award custody of the dog to Josh Framm. Case closed. Thank God.
Norm Snively
You can't do that! That dog is my dog! I got pictures of my dog!
Judge Cranfield
Will somebody suppress that clown?
Norm Snively
Let me go! I got pictures of my own dog! And kid! kid! Put me down! kid! kid!
Josh Framm
Hey Buddy. You want to play? Yeah! Just like we always do.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation Between Mother and Son
Jackie Framm
Josh, would you come in here, please?
Josh Framm
Uh-oh. Buddy, you gotta stay here, okay? Buddy, no. You gotta stay outside. Hey, Mom, you wanted to see me?
[dog whimpers]
Jackie Framm
What are you doing?
Josh Framm
What do you mean?
Jackie Framm
The box.
Josh Framm
The box?
Jackie Framm
Don't get funny with me, Josh. I know what you're doing.
Josh Framm
What am I doing?
Jackie Framm
You are making a home for him, and this is not his home. The next thing you know...
Josh Framm
Mom, we can't leave him out in the rain. That's totally inhuman.
Jackie Framm
That's just the point, Josh. He's not human. He's a stray. Do not get attached to this dog, Josh. Do not! No, I have way too much on my plate as it is.
Josh Framm
I'd take care of him.
Jackie Framm
Josh, we don't know anything about this dog. We have your little sister to think about. No. The answer is no. One week, and if nobody claims him, he goes straight to the pound.
Josh Framm
Three weeks?
Jackie Framm
Two.
Josh Framm
Two and a half?
Jackie Framm
Josh!
Josh Framm
Christmas. That's like two weeks and a couple days, right? That's perfect. We can't dump him before Christmas. Please, please, please.
Jackie Framm
All right, all right, Christmas. But the minute after, he's outta here. Meanwhile, he stays outside. And if you try to sneak him in here just once...
Josh Framm
Mom, Mom, Mom. I swear.
Jackie Framm
All right. As long as we're clear. I swear you're gonna grow up to be a lawyer someday.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dribbling and Drooling in Sports
Referee #1
Does he dribble?
Arthur Chaney
No, but he might drool a little bit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Tense Substitution During the Game
Arthur Chaney
Larry, out!
Larry Willingham
What? Why are you taking me out?
Arthur Chaney
Josh, go on in for Larry, huh?
Buck Willingham
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Arthur Chaney
Time, ref!
Buck Willingham
Why are you taking my kid out?
Arthur Chaney
Because he's playing like a one-man team.
Buck Willingham
This boy is the team!
Arthur Chaney
Maybe he is to a worked-up father, but to me he's a player who's got a whole lot to learn. Now I'll kindly ask you to take your seat, Mr. Willingham. Let me get back to coaching my team.
Buck Willingham
Come on, Larry. We're leaving.
Larry Willingham
But, Dad?
Buck Willingham
Now!
Arthur Chaney
Check in, Josh.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Substituting a Dog in Basketball Game
Warriors Head Coach
What the heck's going on here?
Arthur Chaney
I'll handle this, Josh.
Referee #2
Look, the Timberwolves wanna substitute a dog.
Warriors Head Coach
What, are they nuts?
Arthur Chaney
Dog's a registered member of the team. He practices with the team, he travels with the team. You check your rule book. Bet you won't find anything in there that says a dog can't play.
Referee #1
He's right. Ain't no rule that says a dog can't play basketball.
Buck Willingham
This is a joke! I mean, dogs don't play basketball!
Arthur Chaney
What's the matter, gentlemen? Afraid your team might get beat by a dog?
Warriors Head Coach & Buck Willingham
Put him in!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing Challenges Together in Difficult Times
Jackie Framm
Sorry, sweetie, that was Grandma on the phone. How was school?
Josh Framm
It sucks.
Jackie Framm
How was the trombone? Aw, sweetie. I'm sorry. You know, we've all been through a lot in this last year. But I know we're gonna get through it. This is a good place. All we gotta do is just give it our best shot every day. Your dad would've wanted it that way.
Josh Framm
I guess.
Jackie Framm
Sure. He wouldn't have wanted you being all mopey. I love you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concern for Josh's Well-Being
Andrea Framm
What's with Josh?
[just after Josh did a light quick kiss, on her forehead, as he was about to go to his room]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration at Birthday Parties and Responsibilities
Norm Snively
Would it be okay if I get a couple of references? Come on, get up here! I warned you! You had your chance, you flea-bitten mongrel! You're going to the pound! Do you hear me?! You're going to the pound! I hate birthday parties! I hate kids! I hate being a clown! I can't stand birthday cakes!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Clown's Search for His Dog
Norm Snively
Oh, hey. Sorry to disturb you. Name's Norm Snively. I believe you've got my dog.
Jackie Framm
Huh, what?
Norm Snively
My dog. You know, Old... Old... Old Blue. Uh, here. There's a picture of him. That's him and me. You see, I'm a clown by profession.
Jackie Framm
Umm...
Norm Snively
Maybe you would like to see his papers.
Jackie Framm
Oh... Uh...
[gasps as soon as Josh comes back home]
Jackie Framm
Josh.
Josh Framm
NO!!
Norm Snively
Blue, yes. Now you're coming home with Daddy.
Josh Framm
NO!! YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM!!
Jackie Framm
Josh, honey, honey! Josh, there is nothing that we can do. He's got papers.
Josh Framm
HE’S MY DOG!!
Jackie Framm
Please, sir, could we pay you?
Norm Snively
Look, lady, I just want my dog back, okay?
Josh Framm
HE HATES YOU!! HE HATES YOU!!
Jackie Framm
Baby, it's okay.
Norm Snively
I'll tell you what, kid. On your next birthday, me and the dog, we'll come out. We'll do a show for you, cheap.
Jackie Framm
It's okay. It's okay. Baby, it's okay. Josh! Please, just talk to me! Please wait!
Norm Snively
A beer commercial? No, I don't want my dog to do beer commercials.
Josh Framm
Psst, Buddy.
Norm Snively
Look, what do you think I am anyway? I got... I'm... I got... Look, I got ethics.
Josh Framm
Buddy.
Norm Snively
Just for curiosity's sake, though, what are we talking about for one of those beer commercials? Would you shut up out there! What's that? We're talking about how much?
Josh Framm
Hey, Buddy.
Norm Snively
Oh, that kind of blows ethics right out of the water, doesn't it? I mean, hey, he's just a dog. What does he know? No, April's not good for us. We're booked on a tour. Wait! Is that Oprah woman... Oprah, you know, the Oprah woman... Does she like dogs? I'd love to do Jay Leno. Hey! Get back here with my dog!
Josh Framm
Buddy, come on. Run!
Norm Snively
You little darned kid! That's my dog!
Josh Framm
Go, Buddy!
Norm Snively
I got you, kid!
Josh Framm
Go, Buddy, go!
Norm Snively
Hey! Get out of my way! Hey! You can't run fast enough! I needed that! Hey! I'm gonna get you, you little...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Dog's Loyalty Amidst Family Conflict
Jackie Framm
That's my son!
Larry Willingham
Water boy! Nice shot.
Norm Snively
I'll take my dog back now.
Josh Framm
He doesn't wanna go with you.
Jackie Framm
What's the problem?
Norm Snively
There's no problem, Mrs. Framm. Your son's had his little fun. Now I think it's time to give me back what is rightfully mine.
Jackie Framm
You know what, Mr. Snively, I believe my son is right. That dog doesn't like you. So the answer is no.
Norm Snively
You don't have any choice, lady. I got papers. I'll see you in court!
[chuckling]
Bailiff
Next case, Snively vs. Framm.
Judge Cranfield
Is this one of your high-profile divorce cases?
Bailiff
No, sir, it's custody.
Judge Cranfield
Oh, custody. Holy Toledo, what is that dog doing in the courthouse?
Bailiff
That's the, uh, child, sir.
Judge Cranfield
That's a pretty ugly kid.
Bailiff
It's a dog.
Judge Cranfield
What?
Bailiff
The case is about custody of a dog.
Judge Cranfield
All right, I'll take it, but we have to do this seriously. I will not have my courtroom turned into some kind of a circus. Who the hell are you?
Norm Snively
Mr. Norman F. Snively, your honor. I'm the plaintiff.
Judge Cranfield
You look like an idiot.
Norm Snively
Why, thank you, sir. You see, I'm a clown by profession. Happy Slappy's the name. Clown and the Hound. And begging to your humblest pardon, I thought it might be helpful to your honor if I appeared here today in the guise most pertinent to the cogent and unequivocal stating of my case.
Judge Cranfield
Whatever, whatever. You go first, clown.
Norm Snively
Well, the fact is, your honor, that dog's my property, and I have papers to prove it.
Judge Cranfield
Well, would you show them to me, please?
Norm Snively
Well, actually, your honor, I had papers to prove it. But that boy, that young hooligan, because of his irresponsible and criminal activity, is responsible for what you see.
Judge Cranfield
Order!
Norm Snively
You see, sir, when I lost my dog for the first time, it broke me up real bad. When I lost him the second time, it darn near killed me. Hell's bells, your honor, all I wanna do is get Old Blue back. So it can be him and me together, just like it always was.
Josh Framm
Why, so you can abuse him some more?
Judge Cranfield
That will be enough, young man.
Norm Snively
I raised that dog from a puppy. I wouldn't harm a hair on his head!
Judge Cranfield
Bailiff, what is that?
Bailiff
The dog, your honor.
Judge Cranfield
Oh. Order! Quiet!
Josh Framm
It's the gavel, sir.
Judge Cranfield
What? Speak up! Bailiff!
Bailiff
You said speak.
Judge Cranfield
Speak! Will somebody please suppress that dog?
Norm Snively & Josh Framm
Shh!
Judge Cranfield
Oh, what a day. What a day. Now then, young man, have you any evidence that this man abused your dog? Did you ever see him hit the dog?
Josh Framm
Well, no.
Judge Cranfield
Then how did you know the dog was abused?
Josh Framm
Because Buddy doesn't like him. Buddy's my friend. I know what he's feeling, so he knows what I'm feeling.
Jackie Framm
He's telling the truth, your honor.
Judge Cranfield
Who's that?
Bailiff
The boy's mother.
Judge Cranfield
Oh, it's all right, you may sp... You may address the court.
Jackie Framm
When we first moved to this town, my son was very unhappy. And then he found Buddy here. And Buddy's given him something to look forward to. Please, please, don't take Buddy away from my son.
Judge Cranfield
Mrs. Framm, as far as this court is concerned, the dog is property unless you have evidence...
Jackie Framm
All of these people did not come here because of a piece of property, your honor. They came here because of Buddy. He's part of this town. He's part of the team, and he's part of our family now, your honor.
Norm Snively
Well, he's part of my family too! He's like a son to me! Aw, shut up!
Arthur Chaney
Why not let the dog choose, your honor? They say a dog is man's best friend. If that's the case, shouldn't the dog be able to choose who he wants to be friends with?
Judge Cranfield
Who are you, Barnum or Bailey?
Arthur Chaney
Arthur Chaney, your honor.
Judge Cranfield
Mr. Chaney, do you reali... Arthur Chaney? New York Knicks, 56? Huh. I was at that Celtics game where you did the turnaround jumper at the buzzer. I spilled beer all over my wife.
Bailiff
Your honor.
Judge Cranfield
What? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Mr. Chaney.
Arthur Chaney
Well, I've been thinking. This dog is what, three, four years old. That makes him an adult in our years. I say let Buddy decide.
Judge Cranfield
Mr. Chaney, during my 40 years on the bench, I have heard a lot of lamebrain cockamamie proposals, but this one I like.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.