12 quotes
Parenting and Humor in Unexpected Situations
Alice
I'm an okay sorta person. How'd I get such a smart-ass kid?
Tommy
You got pregnant.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Strained Family Dynamics and Emotional Turmoil
Alice Hyatt
How are we supposed to have a meaningful family relationship if he's always on the verge of killing you?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inappropriate Comments in a Casual Conversation
David
Hey, Tommy, watch the fingernails.
[Tommy's milking a cow]
Tommy
Well, Christ, she's got tits the size of cucumbers. What do you expect?
Alice
Ahem. I don't know where he gets that language, I really don't.
[to David]
Tommy
Think real hard, it'll come to you, lady.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Friendship and Love Amidst Musical Differences
Tommy
You really love David, don't you?
Alice
Yep, I do.
Tommy
Yeah, I like him too, I just hate his taste in music. He always said you could fight with somebody and still like him.
Alice
Hey, now you're using your old noggin! Thanks pal!
Alice
My boy!
Tommy
Mom, mom, I can't breathe!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Request for Attention and Response
Chicken
Would you mind turning around for me?
Alice
Turn around? Why?
Chicken
I wanna look at ya.
Alice
Well, look at my face, I don't sing with my ass.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Mother and Son's Playful Exchange
Tommy
Mom, are we in Arizona yet?
Alice
If you ask me that one more time, I'm gonna beat you to death. Just sit back there and relax and enjoy life, huh?
Tommy
Life is short.
Alice
So are you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Complex Relationship with Humor and Frustration
Flo
I could lay under you, eat fried chicken and do a crossword puzzle at the same time, that's how much you bother me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Alice Asserts Her Authority with a Warning
Alice
If you open your mouth, once more, I swear to God, I'm gonna nail it shut.
[after Tommy was being smart]
Alice
I'm warning you, Tommy. I'm gonna throw you out, and you're gonna walk the last mile home.
Alice
Get out!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Bold Statement on Affection
Flo
You kiss me where the sun don't shine.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Observation on a Child's Uniqueness
Alice Hyatt
You're a very weird kid.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggles of Decision-Making in Relationships
Alice
I know what I'm doing!
David
Yeah, you do. That's why you can't make up your mind about your kid, your job, Monterey, or me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Communication Breakdown After a Traumatic Event
Flo
My old man, he ain't talked to me since the day ] got shot.
[[John F. Kennedy|Kennedy]
Alice
Why? Did he think you had something to do with it?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.