Analyze This (1999) - Quotes

Discussion of Unspecified Matters

Primo: Everybody knows there's been this thing between me and Paul Vitti for a long time.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Which thing are you talking about? The first thing or the second thing?

Primo: What second thing? I only know one thing.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Hey, how can we bring up the first thing if we're not gonna talk about the second thing. Did you talk to the guy?

Primo: What guy?

Dr. Ben Sobel: The guy with the thing!

Primo: What thing? What the fuck are you talking about?

Dr. Ben Sobel: How should I know? You brought it up.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Frequency of Hearing "No

Dr. Ben Sobel: You don't hear the word "no" very often, do you?

Boss Paul Vitti: I hear it all the time, but usually it's, "No, please, no, no!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Conflicted Intentions in a Crime Scene

Boss Paul Vitti: I wasn't really gonna whack you.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Paul...

Boss Paul Vitti: Okay, I was gonna whack you. But I was real conflicted about it.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Power of Hitting a Pillow

Dr. Ben Sobel: You know what I do I'm mad, Paul? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow, see how you feel.

Boss Paul Vitti: There's your fuckin pillow.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Feel better?

Boss Paul Vitti: ...Yeah, I do.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Good.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Identity Confusion in Dialogue Exchange

Primo: Yeah, who is this?

Boss Paul Vitti: It's me.

Primo: Me who?

Boss Paul Vitti: Me. Me.

Primo: Me? Me who?

Boss Paul Vitti: Me. You know me. Me.

Primo: Yeah, how's it goin'?

Boss Paul Vitti: Not good. Not good. Whoever did that thing to you-know-who, that good friend of mine? They're trying to do that to me now, and I'm having a lot of feelings about that, and I'm trying to get some... some...

Dr. Ben Sobel: Closure.

Boss Paul Vitti: ...closure on that.

Primo: What kind of feelings?

Boss Paul Vitti: I'm feeling very angry about that, I'm really- I'm enraged. I'm feeling very very mad about that.

Primo: Yeah, so why are you telling me?

Boss Paul Vitti: Why'm I telling you? Like you don't know nothin about it? Eh?

Primo: I don't know what you're talkin about.

Boss Paul Vitti: You don't know nothin'? What?

Primo: I don't know what you're talkin about.

Boss Paul Vitti: Okay, whatever, I'm just trying to... tell you about my feelings, and that I'm angry, and that that anger is...

Dr. Ben Sobel: A blocked wish.

Boss Paul Vitti: [losing his temper] A blocked wish, and I'm looking forward to seeing you, next week at that thing, and unblock that angered wish, and hopefully, hopefully... if you make one more move on me, you motherfucker, I'll fuckin cut your fuckin balls off and shove em up your fuckin ass! I'll fuckin bury you! I'll stick fucking ice picks in your eyes! I'll chop your fucking eyeballs and I'll send em to your family so they can eat them for dessert! Do you understand me?!

Primo: Hey, Paul.

Boss Paul Vitti: What?

Primo: [hangs up] Fuck you.

Boss Paul Vitti: (throws down phone) You motherfucker!

Primo: You get a dictionary and find out what this "closure" is. If that's what he's gonna hit us with, then I wanna know what it is.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Miscommunication About Performance Issues

Boss Paul Vitti: I couldn't get it up last night

Dr. Ben Sobel: You mean sexually?

Boss Paul Vitti: No, I mean for the big game against Michigan State. Of course sexually! What the fuck's the matter with you?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Identifying Paul Vitti's True Identity

Michael Sobel: Was that really Paul Vitti?

Dr. Ben Sobel: Well, I didn't ask to see his Mafia decoder ring, but yes.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Marital Confusion Between Doctor and Boss

Dr. Ben Sobel: What happened with your wife last night?

Boss Paul Vitti: I wasn't with my wife, I was with my girlfriend.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Are you having marriage problems?

Boss Paul Vitti: No.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Then why do you have a girlfriend?

Boss Paul Vitti: What, are you gonna start moralizing on me?

Dr. Ben Sobel: No, I'm not, I'm just trying to understand, why do you have a girlfriend?

Boss Paul Vitti: I do things with her I can't do with my wife.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Why can't you do them with your wife?

Boss Paul Vitti: Hey! That's the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Therapist Confronts Frustrated Mob Boss

Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, I got news for you, you little two-bit prick son-of-a-bitch rat bastard, you did nothing for me! Whatever you did the other day didn't take! I'm still fucked up! You did fucking NOTHING for me!

Dr. Ben Sobel: Hey, what do you expect? I saw you for five minutes! I can't work miracles, Mr. Vitti! And let me tell you something, I do not appreciate it when someone sneaks into my hotel room and kidnaps me in the middle of the night. I have a life, Mr. Viti, I have a family, and I have a serious practice, and I don't have time for your BULLSHIT...! That got away from me at the end there.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Discussion on Human Tragedy and Responsibility

Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, people get depressed, they jump. It's a human tragedy. It ain't my fault.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Oh, now you're gonna tell me it was a suicide?

Boss Paul Vitti: I don't know, I think he left a note. Jelly, did they find that note?

Jelly: [taking out a pen] Uh, no, but they will in a minute.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Oh, and let me guess what it says? "Life is bullshit, I can't fucking take it no more! Signed, the dead guy.

Jelly: Hey, that's good, Doc.

Threats in a Therapy Session

Boss Paul Vitti: If I talk to you, and you turn me into a fag... I'm gonna kill you, you understand?

Dr. Ben Sobel: Could we define the word "fag," because...?

Boss Paul Vitti: I go fag, you die. Got it?

Dr. Ben Sobel: Got it.

Adapting to Change in Modern Times

Dominic: Times are changing. You've got to change with the times.

Boss Paul Vitti: What, am I supposed to get a fuckin website?

Greek Tragedy Reference in Modern Context

Dr. Ben Sobel: [[w:Oedipus|Oedipus] ] was a Greek king who killed his father and married his mother.

Boss Paul Vitti: [scoffing] Fuckin Greeks.

Misunderstanding Between Vitti and Sobel

Boss Paul Vitti: You know me?

Dr. Ben Sobel: Yes.

Boss Paul Vitti: No you don't.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Okay.

Boss Paul Vitti: You see my picture in the paper?

Dr. Ben Sobel: Yes.

Boss Paul Vitti: No you didn't.

Dr. Ben Sobel: I don't even get the paper.

Contacting the Vatican for Missing Items

Dr. Ben Sobel: [Upon receiving an exquisite fountain from Vitti as a gift] Call the Vatican, see if there's anything missing.

A Call to Stop Whining and Move On

Dr. Ben Sobel: [talking to patient; ''mocks whining voice''] Well, the first thing I think you should do...is to stop whining about this pathetic loser! You are a tragedy queen! "Steve doesn't like me! Steve doesn't respect me!" I mean, who gives a shit? GET A FUCKING LIFE!

A Humorous Introduction to Dr. Ben Sobel

Dr. Ben Sobel: (masquerading as a mobster) My name is Ben Sobel... -lioni. Ben Sobellioni. I'm also known as, uh, Benny the Groin, Sammy the Schnozz, Elmer the Fudd, Tubby the Tuba, and once as Miss Phyllis Levine.