16 quotes
Comedy and Conversations on a Flight
Dr Buddy Rydell
OH, HEY! I'M WETTIN MY JOCKIES HERE! You gotta get a load of this, keed. I mean, you like comedies? Huh?
[watching a movie, laughing; continues laughing]
Dave Buznik
Yeah, I just haven't been getting much sleep lately and I'd like to get some.
Dr Buddy Rydell
Oh, hey, hey. Take a look at this actress here. What is your position on, uh, breast implants?
[pause, watches movie]
Dave Busnik
You know, I could just watch the movie with ya. Excuse me, could I get a headset?
[to flight attendant]
Flight Attendant
Certainly.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inconvenient Excuses for Awkward Situations
Dave Buznik
Why couldn't you have told her something else? I was at the bank! I was at the store! I ate bad guacamole and couldn't stop shitting! Any of those things would have been fine!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings and Bad Days in Anger Management
Dave Buznik
What about the Air Marshall who tasered me? Was he in on it?
Linda
No, he was just having a bad day.
Air Marshall
Son of a bitch!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Explosive and Implosive Anger
Dr Buddy Rydell
There are two kinds of angry people: explosive and implosive. Explosive is the kind of Individual that you see screaming at the cashier for not taking their coupon. Implosive, is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and finally shoots everyone in the store. You are the cashier.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration Over Limited Sleeping Arrangements
Dave Buznik
I'm feeling very angry right now, because I have only one bed and no couch.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Family and Legacy
Dave Buznik
I want to have children with you! Children! With your eyes and my... last name! That's all I want.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Initiating the Healing Process
Taglines
Let the healing begin
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding in Anger Management Class
Dave Buznik
Oh my goodness, Bobby Knight. You're in this class also?
Bobby Knight
Yeah its my first day.
Dave Buznik
Working on the anger problem?
Bobby Knight
Anger? Isn't this sexaholics anonymous?
Dave Buznik
Oo, noo.. I think that's down the hall...
Bobby Knight
Well, to hell with this! I'm goin home!
[Throws down his book in anger]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Flirting and Cheating: A Distinction Explained
Dave Buznik
Flirting is cheating's ugly cousin Buddy, I am not a cheater.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Unique Take on Personal Boundaries
Dave Buznik
I'm not a homophobe, I'm a pulling-out-my-penis-in-front-of-you-ophobe.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Events During a Long Drive
Dave Buznik
Five hour drive to find out mommy had a jelly bean removed from her nose... Glad I missed work. Can we eat now?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sarcasm and Anger: An Unwelcome Connection
Dr Buddy Rydell
Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin. From now on, unacceptable.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expressions of Joy and Self-Affirmation
Dave Buznik
I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. Oh so pretty and whitty and... gay.
[singing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Positive Emotions
Taglines
Feel the love
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expecting a Promotion After Prison Time
Dave Buznik
So when I get out of prison in the next 2-5 years, I expect you to do the right thing and give me the promotion that Andrew resigned from.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pana Banana's Unusual Physical Feature
Dave Buznik
Look everybody, Pana Banana's got a heinie! He's got a heinie!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.