Antz (1998) - Quotes

Z Marion-4195: Jeez, what was I thinking? I almost got you killed.

General Mandible: That's enough.

Weaver: I ain't tellin you nothin'.

General Mandible: Soldier, the princess is vital to the future of this colony. She must be returned to take their place as queen.

Weaver: We already have a queen.

General Mandible: [chuckling] As for your friend, Z, why should I hurt him? He's not important. Now, soldier, we all know that one individual ant doesn't matter. Not you, not Cutter... not even her.

Weaver: [struggles, but is restrained] Azteca!

Azteca: Don't tell that tight-a** anything, Weaver!

General Mandible: Where is Z?!

Weaver: I don't know where he is!

General Mandible: Hmm. That's too bad.

Weaver: Wait! Insectopia! I know it sounds crazy, but that's where he'd be going!

Colonel Cutter: Soldier, you think this is a game? Insectopia does not exist.

General Mandible: As a matter of fact... it does.

Colonel Cutter: Sir?

General Mandible: I'll brief you on the coordinates. You're gonna bring the princess back. And as for Z... kill him.

Weaver: But you said he didn't matter!

General Mandible: It's for the good of the colony. You made the right decision. Gentlemen, now you can see how dangerous individualism can be. It makes us vulnerable.

Soldier Ant: Let's go.

General Mandible: Take him back to the MegaTunnel. Put him on the front line. Dismissed.

Princess Bala: Oh, my God! Z! Come here!

Z Marion-4195: It's Insectopia!

Princess Bala: You were right. It really is here.

Z Marion-4195: Huh?

Princess Bala: All right. All right! You're a genius.

Z Marion-4195: Let's eat.

Princess Bala: Well, what's the problem?

Z Marion-4195: [above them, two wasps, Chip and Muffy, arrive] There's some kind of force-field! Uh, excuse me? Excuse me? How...How do you get in?

Chip: [flying down to them] Yes, yes, well, I'm afraid this is a private function.

Muffy: Who are your friends, dear?

Chip: Crawling insects, poopsie.

Muffy: [to Z and Bala, slowly] Oh, the poor dears. Uh, good...morning!

Z Marion-4195: Huh?

Chip: Darling, really? Greeting every insect that emerges out of the grass?

Princess Bala: [the wasps land in front of them] Pardon me? I guess you don't recognize me! I've been travelling, and I'm all...schlumpy. I'm Princess Bala.

Chip: [to Muffy] Oh! It's even worse. They're Eurotrash!

Muffy: [leaning down, to Z and Bala] Darling, they're poor, they're dirty, they're smelly. We have to help them. If you just wait right here, we'll get you a little something.

Chip: Ugh! Please, Muffy, not another crusade.

Muffy: [Chip rolls his eyes] Chippy, we have a social obligation to the less fortunate. I know you laugh at my hobbies, but this is important to me!

Chip: Hm. You have such a big heart. That's why you're my little cuddly-widdles...!

Muffy: Oh, my big strong pheromone factory...!

Z Marion-4195: Oh, brother. Suddenly I've lost my appetite. You know... I guess I had imagined Insectopia... I don't know, a little differently.

Chip: [starts crying] Oh, Muffy! No! Oh, no!

Princess Bala: Oh, no.

Z Marion-4195: Look out!

Princess Bala: Z, help me! Z! Don't let me... Don't let me go, Z. Get me out of here!

Z Marion-4195: Bala! Whoa, this is not good. Whoa! Hi.

Princess Bala: Z?

Z Marion-4195: Yes?

Princess Bala: It looks like this is it, just when... I was starting to like you.

Z Marion-4195: Who the hell is that?

All: [chanting] We want Z! We want Z!

Foreman: People, come on. I know some ants who aren't gonna make their quota.

Worker Ant: Buzz off, pawn of the oppressor.

All: [continues chanting] We want Z! We want Z!

Colonel Cutter: Sorry, sir. I came as soon as I heard. I was debriefing the trackers.

General Mandible: And? What's the report?

Colonel Cutter: Well, this Z, sir. He's one slippery character. They lost Bala's trail at the edge of the lake.

General Mandible: The lake?

All: [singing] All we are saying is give Z a chance.

General Mandible: What's that soldier doing there?

Colonel Cutter: It appears he's holding hands, sir, with a worker.

General Mandible: I don't like the way things are going, Cutter. I'm counting on you for results. Now, can I depend on you or not?

Colonel Cutter: Yes, sir.

General Mandible: All right, then. Let's wrap this up.

All: [continues chanting] We want Z! We want Z! We want Z!

General Mandible: I've heard a lot about this Z. I even had the pleasure of meeting him once. But where is he know? Can anyone point him out? I mean, if this Z cares so much about us, then why isn't he here? I'll tell you why. Because Z doesn't give a damn about us. That's why he kidnapped our princess. That's why he ran away. Z is no hero. We are the heroes. We are the ones ensuring the future of our great colony. And when we've completed this magnificent structure, we will reap the benefits: more food and less work for everyone. And as further reward for your heroic efforts, each and every one of you will get the day off... so you can be the guests of honor at the MegaTunnel dedication ceremonies!

Foreman: Mandible! Mandible!

All: [chanting] Mandible! Mandible! Mandible! Mandible!

General Mandible: Now bring me that soldier.

Princess Bala: Think about it, Z, two ants. Who ever heard of two ants? Two million ants, maybe. But two? Look, I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, and this whole desert thing? It just doesn't work for me.

Z Marion-4195: Yada, yada, yada.

Princess Bala: I think it's about time to take me back.

Z Marion-4195: [he scoffs] Take yourself back.

Princess Bala: Excuse me. You kidnapped me, remember? That means you have certain responsibilities. You can't just abandon me here in the wilderness.

Z Marion-4195: Yeah, well, it's better than being back at the colony.

Princess Bala: You're not serious, are you?

Z Marion-4195: Maybe you were living the high life, but personally, this beats digging. If you'd ever done a day's labor you'd know what I was talking about.

Princess Bala: Labor? What do you know about labor? How would you feel if you were expected to give birth every ten seconds for the rest of your life?

Z Marion-4195: Gee.

Princess Bala: Water! All you think about is yourself.

Z Marion-4195: Yeah? Well, nobody else ever thought about me. So as far as I'm concerned, I don't need anybody else.

Z Marion-4195: [in a water drop] Help! Help me, Bala! Help! B-B-B-B-Bala!

Princess Bala: Hold on, I'll get you out. Hold on.

Z Marion-4195: Help, Ba...

Z Marion-4195: Thanks.

Princess Bala: Don't mention it. Now, maybe we can put this fantasy behind us, and head back to the colon... Oh, Z! What are you doing?

Z Marion-4195: [gets in the boat] We've got to cross the lake.

Princess Bala: Am I missing something here? Didn't we just get out of the water?

Z Marion-4195: [grabs a stick] Bala, look, what have you got to lose? I mean, think about it. Do you really want to be Mrs. Raving Lunatic? There's a better place.

Princess Bala: Z, please.

Z Marion-4195: [puts his hand out, then Bala gets in, then Z rows to go to Insectopia] Just gimme one chance. If we don't find Insectopia soon, I promise I'll take you back to the colony.

Princess Bala: I hope you know what you're doing.

Z Marion-4195: Yeah, me too.

Queen: No more excuses, General. I want my daughter back. Frankly, I'm beginning to doubt your ability to handle this.

General Mandible: Believe me, Your Highness, we will spare no effort to bring her back. Princess Bala is essential to all our plans for the future.

Worker Ant: So he kills himself a hundred termites, gets a few medals, then bada-ding, bada-bip, bags himself the princess.

Worker Ant: He looks dead in the eye...

Worker Ant: And says, "Bite me.

Female Ant: He said that to General Mandible?

Worker Ant: Buddy. Hey, hey, buddy. You heard about the war hero named Z? Runs off the the princess, right? When they sent the guards after him, he just looks at em and boom! They burst into flames.

Weaver: [chuckling] Z? You talkin about Z? Hey, I know the guy. He's a friend of mine. I think your information...

Worker Ant: You know Z?

Weaver: Yeah. He's a worker. He used to dig around here.

Worker Ant: A worker? That's impossible. A worker can't do anything, except work.

Female Ant: Yeah. It's not like we got a choice.

Azteca: We do have a choice. Uh, I mean, look at Z. He decided he wanted something, and he went for it.

Weaver: He's not alone. I used to be a soldier, and I switched places with him.

Worker Ant: Wait a second. You're tellin me, I don't have to be here?

Female Ant: We've got a choice?

Worker Ant: The authorities don't want you to know, but we don't have to work on the tunnel any more.

Worker Ant: It's the workers who control the means of production.

Worker Ant: If Z don't dig, I don't dig.

Foreman: People, what is this? An encounter group? Let's get back to work.

Worker Ant: Why?

Worker Ant: ...on the tunnel anymore! This guy, Z, he's leadin the revolution!

Foreman: I'll get back to you.

Princess Bala: What are you doing, you creep? Are you out of your puny little mind?

Guard Ant: There they are down there! Let's go! Move! Move! Move! Move! Move!

Princess Bala: Oh, good. Here they come to rescue me and kill you.

Z Marion-4195: Kill?

Princess Bala: Hey, you guys!

Z Marion-4195: [to Bala] Stop it! Stop it. What are you tryin to do?

Princess Bala: Get off me, you little twerp!

Z Marion-4195: Wait a minute. What do you want to do? Throw away everything you got?

Princess Bala: [punches Z] Oh, hey! What're you waiting for? Hello! Guys!

Guard Ant: Huh?

Guard Ant: What is it?

Ridgeway: It's beautiful.

Guard Ant: Ridgeway, get out of there!

Z Marion-4195: Oh, don't worry. I'm okay.

Princess Bala: You?! You're okay?! Hey, who cares about you?! I almost died here!

Z Marion-4195: Will you please calm down? You're not going to let a little near-death experience ruin your mood, are you?

Princess Bala: [the praying mantis snores soundly, as the birds chirp in the background] Hey, this is not a mood. Okay? You're not listening to me. Where am I? Look, what's your name. Just climb up that tree, and find out where I am.

Z Marion-4195: [climbs up a stem of a thistle plant, but it droops over downwards towards Bala; Bala gasps; he grins and chuckles sarcastically at Bala, but the thistle part of the plant breaks off of the thistle plant, and falls to the ground, with Z holding on to it] Look, th-the trick is not to panic. You know, h-h-he w-who panics is lost. Aw...What am I saying? I mean, we are lost. Whoa! Whoa! Ow!

Princess Bala: [to herself] I've been kidnapped by the village idiot.

Z Marion-4195: [gets up, as he plucks the thistle thorns off of his body] Who's the bigger idiot? The idiot, or the idiot who gets kidnapped by the idiot?

Princess Bala: What'd you do? Talk those termites to death? I can't believe you tried to pass yourself off as a soldier. Why are you stalking me? Don't you realize that I'm...out of your league?

Z Marion-4195: You're the one who was cruising the worker bar looking for a little action! And you just happened to find it - the swarthy, earthy, sensual worker.

Princess Bala: Please. I was slumming it. Don't you get it? I chose you because you were the most pathetic little bug in the joint.

Z Marion-4195: [climbs up a spiked stem of a rose] You know, I was gonna let you become part of my most erotic fantasies. But now, you can just forget that! Write it off, you know? I-I guess what you prefer is Old Blood and Guts! This guy's idea of a romantic night out is two seats at a public execution! Boy. You really chose the right husband.

Princess Bala: For your information, the General and I are deeply, deeply in...engaged! You come right back down here this instant! We are marching straight back to the colony, so that I can go straight back to the palace, and tell my mother...

Z Marion-4195: [moves some of the rose's leaves out of his way with his hand, and sees the "monolith" (a drinking fountain) in the distance, the first of the series of landmarks on the way to Insectopia that Grebs told him about] The monolith!

Princess Bala: ...and you can go back to your stupid little buggy bar!

Z Marion-4195: [climbs back down the rose's spiked stem towards Bala, who is standing on the ground] Absolutely. Wonderful. That's an appealing offer. But, considering the options, you go back. Okay? Cause I'm going to Insectopia.

Princess Bala: Oh, come on! Insectopia? You're crazier than I thought.

Z Marion-4195: [clears his throat; heads on towards the monolith] Yeah? Well, I happen to have it on a very reliable source. Or...Or should I say, a drunk, raving source? But the point is, I'm convinced the place definitely exists!

Princess Bala: Stop! I order you to stop, worker!

Z Marion-4195: [continues walking on] Hey! I got a name, okay?! It's Z! And out here, you can't order me around!

Princess Bala: [goes the opposite direction of Z, but suddenly, the ground underneath her starts to shake and rise, and she finds herself on the back of a praying mantis, who turns and gnashes its jaws at her. She gasps, and then runs after Z in terror] All right! Fine! No problem! Grr! Worker! Worker, where are you?! Z?! Z, wait for me!

General Mandible: As I was saying, son, you are an ant after my own heart. An ant that looks death in the face and laughs.

Z Marion-4195: [chuckling] Well, actually, the truth is, I-I generally just make belittling comments, and snicker behind death's back.

Queen: General Mandible.

General Mandible: [to Z] Keep your comments to yourself. Let me do the talking. May I present Her Majesty the Queen.

Z Marion-4195: Charmed. Charmed.

General Mandible: And the royal Princess Bala.

Queen: Welcome home, soldier. We cannot begin to express our gratitude for your heroic efforts.

General Mandible: The private has asked me to convey his most humble appreciation.

Z Marion-4195: [chuckling] Please. Please. It was nothing really. Just your average run-of-the-mill valor, and extraordinary courageousness, you know. In the heat of battle, there's very little time to think. One must attack! Attack! Attack!

General Mandible: Well, indeed. As you can see, Your Highness, the battlefield is still fresh in his mind. So, begging your pardon, but this is the perfect time to debrief the private.

Z Marion-4195: [chuckling] Oh, please, General. Not on our first date. Not on our first date.

Princess Bala: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?

Z Marion-4195: [recognizing his line from the night before; takes the hat off] Well, maybe. Then again, maybe not. And then... then again. Yowch.

Princess Bala: That's it! You're the guy from the bar.

Z Marion-4195: Don't... Shh.

Queen: Bar? What bar?

Princess Bala: I danced with this guy at the bar the other night. He was just a worker then.

Queen: What were you doing at a bar?

General Mandible: Precisely what I want to know.

Princess Bala: No. This isn't about me. I mean, look at this worker. Look what he's done.

Z Marion-4195: [puts the hat back on] I think you're thinkin of someone else. After all, I am a soldier.

Princess Bala: Exactly. You were a worker. But now, you're a war hero.

Queen: He's a worker?

General Mandible: A worker danced with my fiancee?

Z Marion-4195: F-Fiancee? W-W-Wait a minute. This is not how it looks. I can explain this. This... Hey. She was the one making all the moves.

General Mandible: Arrest him.

Z Marion-4195: H-Hey wait a minute. Take it easy. Can't we discuss this?

Queen: What are you doing? Let go of my daughter. He's taking her hostage!

Z Marion-4195: No. No. No. I'm not. I mean, yes, yes, I am. One more step and then the princess gets it.

Princess Bala: [hits Z] Let go of me!

Z Marion-4195: Ow! Don't make me hurt her!

Colonel Cutter: We're on schedule. Work is completed on "A" section sir, including a path through "D" section now.

General Mandible: We need to push harder, Cutter. I want double shifts around-the-clock. We can't afford to let up. Is that clear?

Colonel Cutter: Crystal, sir.

General Mandible: Good. What about section...

Guard Ant: [he comes in] Excuse me, sir.

General Mandible: This had better be important.

Guard Ant: Well, it's about the termite battle, sir. The enemy was destroyed, but I'm afraid it was a disaster for our troops, as well.

General Mandible: Well, that's terrible. Terrible.

Guard Ant: There is a better good news, sir. One soldier did make it back.

Colonel Cutter: No kidding.

General Mandible: What did you say?

Guard Ant: Word is spreading through the colony. The queen requested a meeting with the war hero.

General Mandible: [on hearing that one soldier survived the battle with the termites; covering his true feelings; he walks to Z and Ant; chuckling] Damn! Good. damn good. Uh, I'll handle this. Congratulations, soldier. Well, you're a little short for a war hero, aren't you?

Z Marion-4195: A war hero? Sir. I-I don't actually think that I'm a hero.

General Mandible: [takes Z] Good. I don't like heroes.

Z Marion-4195: But, sir. You don't understand. I... I didn't do anything. I mean, it was all horrible. It was just a massacre. A-A massacre upon a massacre.

General Mandible: [to Z] That's good, soldier. Now, wave.

Azteca: There was nothing you could do, Weaver. You didn't know they were going to war.

Weaver: I just feel horrible. Poor Z. I should have never let him go.

Azteca: Wait a minute. That's no soldier. That's Z!

Weaver: [he chuckles] Z? The little guy made it!

General Mandible: Let's go, soldier.

Barbatus: [to Z] Kid! Kid, over here.

Z Marion-4195: Barbatus.

Barbatus: Be honest, kid. Am I hurt bad?

Z Marion-4195: N-No. N-Not at all. You're... Actually, you're lookin terrific. You got, you know, swell color in your cheeks.

Barbatus: [sniffing] No. I can see it in your eyes. I'm a goner. Help me up, Z. I can't feel my legs.

Z Marion-4195: [to Barbatus] You gotta hang in there, buddy. You know. I know you're gonna make it. Just take... take deep breaths. Because I'm gonna try and find your body. It's bound to be out there somewhere. Barbatus, hang on. B-Barbatus.

Barbatus: Don't make my mistake, kid. Don't follow orders your whole life. Think for yourself.

Z Marion-4195: Barbatus.

Weaver: [he breaks the wall] Yeah. Okay, mama. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Big guy comin through. Love it.

Azteca: Hey. Hey. Hey. Take it easy, muscles. You're makin the rest of us look bad. What happened to Z?

Weaver: He's takin a personal day, so I'm fillin in.

Azteca: [admiring] You fill in any more, and you'll explode.

Azteca: Eh, you got a problem?

Weaver: No, uh, uh... Nobody told me digging was so much fun. You know, you pick the dirt up. You move it. You pick it up again. You move it again. Lots of reps. You exercise the arms and the thorax.

Azteca: Yes, I... I see what you mean.

Foreman: Um. Yeah. That is fascinating.

Weaver: Sorry, sir. I was just havin a chat with my friend, sir.

Foreman: You know, I just had a chat with General Mandible. Anybody who doesn't meet his quota is going to be downsized.

Azteca: Come on. Cut him a break. He's new.

Foreman: Hey. What do you say we help your attitude a little bit by taking away your rations for the day. Thanks for your time.

Azteca: [he starts cutting] I don't know what came over me. Talking back like that. I must be losin it.

Weaver: Sorry I got you in trouble. But, listen, you can share my rations. Whoa. If you want.

Azteca: [guards the ax] Are you askin me out to dinner?

Weaver: [chuckles] Oh, no. I... Well, if you don't have anything else planned.

Azteca: [laughing] I'll check my calendar. You know, I'm kinda glad Z's takin a breather.

Z Marion-4195: Princess, fancy meeting you here. What do you say we lose this crowd? Oh, me? You know, I... I wear many hats. I guess you'd have to call me a Renaissance ant.

Man: Eyes right!

General Mandible: Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Princess Bala: Mm.

General Mandible: The precision. The order.

Z Marion-4195: Princess Bala! Princess Bala! Hey. It's me. Remember Z from the bar? Princess Bala! Princess Bala! Princess...

Queen: Bala, you must encourage the troops. Wave.

Z Marion-4195: Oh. She sees me. Excuse me, guys. I... Sorry. I just got a better offer. Could you excuse me?

Soldier Ant: Company halt!

Z Marion-4195: Princess. Princess Bala!

Soldier Ant: Quiet there! Get back in rank.

Barbatus: You new, kid?

Z Marion-4195: Oh, yes, but I'm getting out soon. I got a trial membership.

Barbatus: [chuckling] Trial membership. That's a good one! Name's Barbatus.

Z Marion-4195: Z.

Man: Right face!

Barbatus: Psst.

General Mandible: Sacrifice. To some, it is just a word. To others, it is a code.

Z Marion-4195: Jeez. I'm really bad at word games.

General Mandible: A solider knows that the life of an individual ant doesn't matter. What matters is the colony. He's willing to live for the colony, to fight for the colony, to die for the colony.

Z Marion-4195: This guy's crazy.

Barbatus: I hear ya.

General Mandible: At 0800 hours, we received word that the termite enemy has mobilized. We have no choice but to launch a preemptive strike. You are the queen's finest. I know you will all do you duty. I am proud to send you into battle.

Z Marion-4195: Into... I'm sorry-I'm sorry, into battle?

General Mandible: Dismissed.

Man: Left face! Forward march!

Z Marion-4195: [being shipped off to battle] Talk to me. You know, I think there's been a terrible mistake. You know, the truth is I just... I just came for the speech.

Barbatus: Don't worry, kid. I'll watch out for ya.

Ant: Sound off.

Soldier Ant: One.

Soldier Ant: Two.

Ant: Sound off.

Barbatus: Three.

Z Marion-4195: Huh?

Ant: Sound off.

Soldier Ant: Five.

Soldier Ant: Six.

Soldier Ant: Seven.

Soldier Ant: Eight.

Soldier Ant: Nine.

Soldier Ant: Ten.

Soldier Ant: Eleven.

Soldier Ant: Twelve.

Soldier Ant: Thirteen.

Soldier Ant: [singing] The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah!

All: [singing] We slaughter termites just for fun, hurrah, hurrah!

Z Marion-4195: So these termites, they're, they're pushovers, right?

Barbatus: Not really, kid. They're five times our size, and they shoot acid from their foreheads.

Z Marion-4195: [stops marching, gaping in disbelief] Huh?!

Soldier Ant: [gives Z a shove from behind] Hey! Keep it movin', shorty!

Z Marion-4195: So, what exactly does our platoon do? Are we gonna be serving beverages, or processing paperwork?

Barbatus: Our platoon has the best assignment of all. We're the first into battle.

Z Marion-4195: [panicked] Hey, wait a minute, let's not get...we're being too hasty here! These guys sound like bruisers! Just how were you figuring on beating them?!

Barbatus: Superior numbers, kid. Overwhelm their defenses, and kill their queen.

Z Marion-4195: [stammering] I, um...Hey, fellas, that's...you're being a little extreme, I feel. Why don't...Why don't we just try and influence their political process with campaign contributions?

Barbatus: [laughing] I like you, kid. You got a sense of humor!

Ant Officer: FORWARD!!

Barbatus: Come on! Let's kick some termite butt!

Soldier Ant: OVER THE TOP!!!

Soldier Ant: Where is everyone?

Soldier Ant: Something's not right.

Barbatus: Don't be scared, kid.

Ant Officer: ATTACK!!!

Soldier Ant: Come on.

Z Marion-4195: Barbatus, you saved my life.

Barbatus: Ah, don't get all sappy about it.

Z Marion-4195: Hey, guys. Look out behind you! Hey... Hey, guys. Can somebody help me here? Can anybody... Hey.

Z Marion-4195: Psst. Weaver. I figured it out. Weaver. Weaver.

Weaver: [clears throat] What? What?

Z Marion-4195: I got a great idea. You gotta switch places with me. Let me go to the inspection instead of you.

Weaver: What time is it?

Z Marion-4195: Weaver. The royal family will be there. This is the only way I can see her.

Weaver: See who?

Z Marion-4195: Princess Bala.

Weaver: [getting out of bed] Are you nuts? You want me to switch places with you? Do you know how much trouble you can get into for even talking about impersonating a soldier? You can get in trouble just for listening to someone talking about impersonating a soldier!

Z Marion-4195: You have to help me. If I can't see her again, my life is just not worth living. Please, Weaver, please. Switch jobs with me just, you know, for a day. Think of all the things I've done for you.

Weaver: [pauses] Hm. I can't think of any.

Z Marion-4195: Okay, so think of all the things that I'm gonna do for you!

Weaver: [glances around, then leans in secretively] Would I meet some worker girls?

Z Marion-4195: Are you kidding? They always go after the new guy! It's like a sport for them! And believe me, they will definitely go for an adorable little insect like you.

Weaver: Mmm.

Z Marion-4195: Weaver, I... I have to see her again.

Weaver: Z, what kind of chance do you have with a princess? I mean, she probably won't even remember you.

Z Marion-4195: [sighs] I... I know it sounds nuts, but I have to try.

Weaver: [he exhales] Oh, boy.

Z Marion-4195: [singing] What a day it has been, what a rare mood I'm in. Why, it's almost like being in love. There's a smile.

Azteca: Huh?

Z Marion-4195: [continues singing] On my face for the whole insect race. Why, it's almost like being in love. Yowch.

Bartender: [to Z] Can I get you another one, pal?

Z Marion-4195: [sighing] No, thanks. I think I'm gonna go.

Bartender: Yeah. I don't blame you. It's always slow in here the night before one of those royal reviews. I guess soldiers need their shut-eye before they meet the queen. I don't blame ya.

Z Marion-4195: That's it!

Bartender: You know, I was once... See ya.

Man: [on loud speaker] Okay, everybody. 6:15. Time to dance.

Weaver: [to Z] Time to cut a rug, Z.

Z Marion-4195: Oh, no. That's okay. I'm gonna leave the rug just the way it is, Weaver.

Princess Bala: [to her handmaidens] Step back, ladies. I'm gonna ask one of these workers to dance with me.

Z Marion-4195: [watching the other ants dance in unison] What a bunch of losers. Mindless zombies capitulating to an oppressive system-

Princess Bala: Hi. Wanna dance?

Z Marion-4195: [upon turning to see her] Absolutely!

Princess Bala: Follow me.

Z Marion-4195: [as they step onto the dance floor] So, how come I haven't seen you around here before?

Princess Bala: Oh, I don't get out much. I, uh...I work over at the palace.

Z Marion-4195: [secretively] The palace, huh? I bet those royals really live it up. Of course, they're all a little, you know, from inbreeding.

Princess Bala: What?

Z Marion-4195: Yowch! Ya-Ya... Yowch! Yowch. Yowch.

Princess Bala: What on earth are you doing?

Z Marion-4195: Well, actually, to tell you the truth, I'm sort of making it up.

Princess Bala: Really?

Z Marion-4195: You know. Why does everybody have to dance the same way? You know, that's completely boring. It's... It's monotonous.

Princess Bala: It's no fun.

Bar Guy: Hey. Watch your step, worker.

Princess Bala: You watch yours, buddy, or you'll be in big trouble.

Z Marion-4195: That's okay. I'll... I'm gonna let him off this time. What? Are you crazy? This guy's built like a pebble.

Princess Bala: Aren't you even gonna defend yourself?

Bar Guy: Hey, buddy. Get back in place.

Z Marion-4195: Me? Uh... Uh...

Princess Bala: What if he doesn't want to?

Z Marion-4195: [clears throat] Yeah. What if I don't like my place?

Bar Guy: What's he talking about?

Bar Guy: We got us a troublemaker.

Bar Guy: Buckle up, Spanky. This one goes out to all the lazy workers.

Weaver: You ought to watch that aggressive behavior, buddy.

Bar Guy: He's just a worker.

Handmaiden #1: Princess Bala! Princess Bala! The guards are coming.

Princess Bala: Let's get outta here.

Z Marion-4195: Wait! Princess? You're a princess?

Princess Bala: Uh, I gotta go.

Z Marion-4195: When can I see you again?

Princess Bala: [kisses Z] Let me think. Never. Bye.

Z Marion-4195: No. Wait.

Bartender: Two aphid beers.

Z Marion-4195: Why'd I have to be born a worker? Soldiers get all the glory, plus you get to go out in the world. You meet interesting insects, you get to kill them.

Weaver: Yeah. But you get to spend all day with those beautiful worker girls.

Z Marion-4195: [sighs] Weaver, they're career girls. They're obsessed with digging. I don't think I'm ever gonna meet the right girl for me.

Weaver: [to Z] Who said a girl for you? I was talking about a girl for me. Don't you want your aphid beer?

Z Marion-4195: [clears throat] Call me crazy, but... I have a thing about drinking from the anus of another creature. Okay?

Weaver: Suit yourself. Ah, me,? I'm cutting a lose. We got a royal inspection coming up.

Z Marion-4195: Inspection, meaning you're gonna stand around like an idiot while a bunch of blue bloods smirk at you. I don't know how you put up with it, Weaver.

Weaver: Z, I've known you for a long time. Right?

Z Marion-4195: Definitely. You were born two seconds after me.

Weaver: Yeah, and ever since we were little, I've been listening to you complain. What are you b*tching about? In case you haven't noticed, we ants are running the show! We're the lords of the earth!

Z Marion-4195: [he sighs] Hey, don't talk to me about earth, okay? Cause I just spent all day hauling it around. There's just got to be a better place.

Grebs: There is. I've been there.

Z Marion-4195: I'm sorry. Were you talking to me?

Grebs: There is a better place, Insectopia.

Z Marion-4195: Oh, really. Lunatic at 3:00.

Grebs: You can't understand until you go there and see it yourself. You can be your own ant there. The streets are paved with food. Nobody tellin you what to do. No wars. No colony. I shoulda never left.

Z Marion-4195: [chuckling] Oh, yeah. Fascinating.

Grebs: We were on a long-range recon. I got cut off from my unit.

Z Marion-4195: Nothing like post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.

Grebs: Then I saw it, Insectopia!

Worker Ant #1: Hey!

Grebs: You head towards the monolith. Ten clicks past the great canyons to the land of red and white.

Guard Ant #1: [takes Grebs] Hey, gramps. You've had enough for one tonight. Come on. Before you get in trouble.

Grebs: Head for the monolith. Listen to me! The monolith!

Weaver: [chuckling] That guy's got a screw loose.

Grebs: Cross the lake!

Z Marion-4195: [he scoffs] Insectopia. Wouldn't it be great if it were that easy?

Weaver: [chuckling] Yeah. Dream on, Z.

Grebs: Cross the lake! Look for the land of red and white.

Princess Bala: [excited] Wow...This is so...gritty!

Handmaiden #1: Ten minutes and we're out of here, right? I mean, this place is off limits.

Princess Bala: Just blame it on me. Say it was all my idea.

Handmaiden #2: It is all your idea!

Princess Bala: [removes her crown] Besides, no one's gonna recognize us. Come on, girls, what do you say? Let's take a walk on the wild side.

Queen: General, we've been at peace with that colony for years. Why would they attack us?

General Mandible: They want our land. They're desperate for more foraging territory. Perhaps they think we've grown soft or weak.

Queen: Why don't we dispatch an ambassador, negotiate a new treaty? Certainly, we don't need to send soldiers.

General Mandible: Believe me. Every ant in this colony is so precious to me. That's why we must strike now, when we have the element of surprise. If the termite shock troops enter our colony, well...

Queen: Yes, General, I know what they can do to us. Very well.

General Mandible: You've made a wise decision. In fact, you've insured the future of this colony.

Princess Bala: Hello, General.

General Mandible: Princess Bala. What a nice surprise. You look lovelier each time I see you.

Princess Bala: Thanks. I hope you're not just here on business.

General Mandible: [chuckling] Oh, of course... ...of course not.

Princess Bala: Because, um, it might be nice if we had a conversation once before we get married.

General Mandible: You're absolutely right. Cutter, schedule some private time for me and Princess Bala.

Colonel Cutter: Uh, in fact, sir, there is time right now for a personal moment. We're a few seconds ahead of schedule.

General Mandible: Excellent. Princess.

Princess Bala: Well, a few seconds isn't much, but I guess if it's quality time. So, how was your day? Anything interesting happen?

General Mandible: We declared war.

Princess Bala: Declared war? Boy, talk about a rough day.

Colonel Cutter: Sir, I hate to interrupt, but time stands still for no ant.

General Mandible: Princess.

Princess Bala: Mom, could you remind me, why am I marrying this guy?

Queen: Bala, do we have to argue about this again?

Princess Bala: We don't seem to have anything in common. The guy's a stiff.

Queen: Yes, darling. I know the general may be a little gruff and somewhat overbearing at times, but I know that he cares about you. He's just not particulary good at showing it. But you should have seen how persistently he asked for your hand in marriage.

Princess Bala: But why me?

Queen: Because you're the one who has to continue my work. It's your place, dear.

Princess Bala: What if they don't like my place?

Queen: Everyone has their place, Bala, you, the soldiers, the workers. Now, it's not all that bad being princess, is it? Would you prefer to be carting dirt all day?

Princess Bala: Mother, don't be so dramatic. At least, they seem to have some fun every now and then.

General Mandible: [his first words] Workers. They're weak. They lack discipline. They lack commitment.

Foreman: [he comes in] General, I know there's been a glitch or two. But everybody is working full tilt as it is, and-

General Mandible: You can't help it, it's your nature. But in spite of your limitations, you are going to finish this tunnel on schedule. Come hell or high water. For now on, anyone who falls behind is going to have to explain themselves to Colonel Cutter. And let me assure you, the colonel is not as understanding as I am. Dismissed. Four more days, Cutter. Four more days. Then we can bid final farewell to their kind of incompetence.

Colonel Cutter: Yes, sir.

General Mandible: A fresh start. Imagine it!

Colonel Cutter: A strong colony, sir. A colony we can be proud of.

General Mandible: Yes, but we're not there yet. Cutter, we just got word that a termite army has mobilized against us.

Colonel Cutter: Against us?

General Mandible: We'll have to send troops deep into hostile territory to attack their colony.

Colonel Cutter: Attack a termite colony, sir? That's suicide.

General Mandible: Exactly. Do you have the list I asked for?

Colonel Cutter: [takes the list to General] Yes, General. These are the units loyal to the queen.

General Mandible: Hm. Then they're the ones we'll be sending. It's a shame. There's some fine officers here.

Colonel Cutter: Don't we need the queen's approval to declare war?

General Mandible: Our very next stop, Cutter.

Man: Ground floor.

Ant: Uh, worker. Soldier. Worker.

Worker Ant: Let's try it again. Firm grip. Swing hard. Back straight. Concentrate. Follow through.

Z Marion-4195: [grabs an ax] Okay. I've got to keep a positive attitude. A good attitude, even though I'm utterly insignificant. I'm-I'm insignificant, um, but with attitude.

Azteca: Oh, sorry, Z. I didn't see you.

Z Marion-4195: [he tries to get the ax out] Great, Azteca. It's working already. I'm so meaningless, I'm invisible.

Azteca: [laughing; takes the ax out] Now, you're getting it. After all, it's not about you. It's about us, the team. It's about this.

Z Marion-4195: Uh, a giant hole in the ground?

Foreman: Okay, people. Are we feeling good?

All: Yeah!

Z Marion-4195: Yeah.

Foreman: Great! Now, R-1734 through Z-7829, you guys are on wrecking ball.

Azteca: You got it.

Z Marion-4195: Swell. You got it.

Worker Ant: All right, swing time! Let's get physical!

Worker Ant: I love this job!

Worker Ant: Let's go!

Z Marion-4195: Now, remember, Azteca, "Be the ball." That's the main thing. Now, remember that. You know, got to be one with the ball.

Azteca: Would you cut it out already? Jeez. I love my work. And you, well... You think too much. Come on, Z. Help us build a bigger, better colony. And, for crying out loud, try to be happy about it.

Z Marion-4195: [nervous chuckle] Sure, you know. I mean, how could I possibly be unhappy being a piece of construction equipment?

Foreman: Okay, workers, remember.

Z Marion-4195: Here it comes.

Foreman: Be the ball.

Foreman: Let the energy flow through you!

Z Marion-4195: Grin and bear it. This is... This is for the colony. Ow! This is... This is just a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Worker Ant: Hang on, here we go!

Worker Ant: Faster!

Worker Ant: Higher!

Z Marion-4195: Did I happen to mention that heights make me nauseous?

Worker Ant: No.

Worker Ant: This is a ball! Hey!

Azteca: Oh, Z.

Z Marion-4195: Yes. Yes. I understand. I dropped the ball.

Z Marion-4195: All my life, I've lived and worked in the big city, which now that I think of it, is kind of a problem since I always feel uncomfortable around crowds. I mean it, I-I have this fear of enclosed spaces. I-I-I, everything makes me feel trapped all the time. You know, I always tell myself, there's gotta be something better out there, but maybe I think too much. I-I-I think everything must go back to the fact that I had a very anxious childhood. You know, my, my mother never had time for me. You know, when you're - when you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention. I mean, how's it possible? And I've always had these, these abandonment issues, which plagued me. My father was basically a drone like I've said, and, you know, the guy flew away when I was just a larva. And my job, don't get me started on, cause it really annoys me. I was not cut out to be a worker, I'll tell you right now. I-I-I feel physically inadequate. I, I, my whole life I've never, I've never been able to lift more than ten times my own body weight, And, and, when you get down to it, handling dirt is, you know, ew, is not my idea of a rewarding career. It's this whole gung-ho super-organism thing that, that, that I - you know, I can't get, I try but I don't get it. I mean, you know, I'm... What is it, I'm supposed to do everything for the colony, and, and what about my needs? What about me? I mean, I gotta believe there's someplace out there that's better than this! Otherwise, I'll just curl up in a larval position and weep! The whole system makes me feel... insignificant.

Psychologist: [to Z] Excellent. You’ve made a real breakthrough.

Z Marion-4195: I have?

Psychologist: Yes, Z. You are insignificant.

Z Marion-4195: I am?

Weaver: [to Z; Everyone who was listening in pretends to fall back asleep] Are you nuts?! You want me to switch places with you? Do you know how much trouble you can get into for even talkin about impersonatin a soldier? You can get in trouble just for listening to someone talkin about impersonatin a soldier!

Barbatus: [his last words to Z] Don't make my mistake, kid. Don't follow orders your whole life. Think for yourself.

Muffy: [to Z and Bala] Darling, they're poor, they're dirty, they're smelly. We have to help them. If you just wait right here, we'll get you a little something.

Queen: [to Mandible] General, we've been at peace with that colony for years. Why would they attack us?

Psychologist: Excellent. You’ve made a real breakthrough.

Soldier Ants: One. Two. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen.

Worker Ants: [chanting] We want Z! We want Z!

Chip: [to Muffy] Ugh! Please, Muffy, not another crusade.

Grebs: [to Z] There is a better place, Insectopia.

Princess Bala: Labor? What do you know about labor? How would you feel if you were expected to give birth every ten seconds for the rest of your life?

Colonel Cutter: Time stands still for no ant.

Azteca: [to Z; takes the ax out] Now, you're getting it. After all, it's not about you. It's about us, the team. It's about this.

Azteca: Don't tell that tight-a** anything, Weaver!

Azteca: [to Weaver] Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy, muscles! You're making the rest of us look bad.

General Mandible: [last words] YOU USELESS, UNGRATEFUL MAGGOT! I AM THE COLONY!

General Mandible: All right, everybody. I want all teams in place, fully prepared, ready to seal the doors here and here. Make certain the digging crew stays on schedule for the breakthrough midway in the dedication ceremony. Now all we need is the princess.

General Mandible: I've heard a lot about this "Z". I even had the pleasure of meeting him once. But where is he now? Can anyone point him out? I mean, if this Z cares so much about us, then why isn't he here? I'll tell you why. Because Z doesn't give a damn about us! That's why he kidnapped our Princess! That's why he ran away! Z is no hero. We are the heroes! We are the ones ensuring the future of our great colony. And when we complete this magnificent structure, we will reap the benefits! More food, and less work for everyone. And as further reward for your heroic efforts, each and every one of you will get the day off, so you can be the guest of honor at the Megatunnel dedication ceremony!

General Mandible: Sacrifice. To some, it is just a word. To others it is a code. The life of one individual ant does not matter. What matters is the colony. And each soldier knows that he's willing to live for the colony...to fight for the colony... to die for the colony.

General Mandible: [to the foreman of the Mega-Tunnel] You can't help it. It's your nature. But in spite of your limitations, you are going to finish this tunnel on schedule! Come hell or high water! For now on, anyone who falls behind will personally answer to Colonel Cutter! And let me assure you, that the Colonel is not understanding as I am. Dismissed!

Zachary "Z" Marion: [last lines] There you have it. Your average boy-meets-girl, boy-likes-girl, boy-changes-underlying-social-order story. So, what else can I tell you? We rebuilt the colony - it's even better than before, you know, cause now it has a very large indoor swimming pool. Bala and I, incidentally, are thinking of starting a family. You know, just a few kids, maybe a million or two to begin with. And I'm, I'm workin with a new therapist, you know, terrific, absolutely terrific. He's, he's been putting me in touch with my inner maggot, which is helping me a great deal. And, you know, I finally feel like I found my place, and you know what? It's right back where I started. But the difference is, this time I chose it.

Zachary "Z" Marion: Will you please calm down? You won't let a little near-death experience ruin your mood, are you?

Zachary "Z" Marion: [first lines] All my life, I've lived and worked in the big city, which now that I think of it, is kind of a problem since I always feel uncomfortable around crowds. I mean it, I-I have this fear of enclosed spaces. I-I-I, everything makes me feel trapped all the time. You know, I always tell myself, there's gotta be something better out there, but maybe I think too much. I-I-I think everything must go back to the fact that I had a very anxious childhood. You know, my, my mother never had time for me. You know, when you're - when you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention. I mean, how's it possible? And I've always had these, these abandonment issues, which plagued me. My father was basically a drone like I've said, and, you know, the guy flew away when I was just a larva. And my job, don't get me started on, cause it really annoys me. I was not cut out to be a worker, I'll tell you right now. I-I-I feel physically inadequate. I, I, my whole life I've never, I've never been able to lift more than ten times my own body weight, And, and, when you get down to it, handling dirt is, you know, ew, is not my idea of a rewarding career. It's this whole gung-ho super-organism thing that, that, that I - you know, I can't get, I try but I don't get it. I mean, you know, I'm... What is it, I'm supposed to do everything for the colony, and, and what about my needs? What about me? I mean, I gotta believe there's someplace out there that's better than this! Otherwise, I'll just curl up in a larval position and weep! The whole system makes me feel... insignificant.