Barbarella (1968) - Quotes

Taglines: Who can save the universe?

Taglines: The space age adventuress whose sex-ploits are among the most bizarre ever seen.

Taglines: See Barbarella do her thing!

Barbarella: Where are we?

Great Tyrant: In the Mathmos, and alive!

Barbarella: I can see that, but why?

Great Tyrant: It seems the Mathmos has created this bubble to protect itself from your innocence.

Great Tyrant: You are so good, you made the Mathmos vomit.

Barbarella: Wake up, Your Majesty! You must wake up!

Great Tyrant: Vade retro, Earth girl! I know you don't really exist. {{hnote|'Vade retro is Latin for get thee behind or go away', as in Vade retro me, Satana ('get away from me, Satan').}}

Barbarella: That may be, Your Majesty, but we'd better stick to what we see.

Durand Durand: [[dignity; [nobility] I speak of the ]… the ] of pure evil!

Barbarella: What have you done with the positronic ray?

Durand Durand: Oh, so that's it.

Barbarella: What does it do?

Durand Durand: All persons and objects in its path are de-minimalized to the fourth level.

Barbarella: You mean—

Durand Durand: That's right. Replaced in the fourth dimension, irretrievably.

Durand Durand: Whoever succeeds in killing her will be put immediately to a horrible death. Hence my prudence.

Durand Durand: I find horrible the idea that one could do to me, that which I do to others.

Concierge: I don't believe it! Wretched, wretched girl! What have you done to my Excessive Machine?! You've undone it! You've undone me! Look! The energy cables are shrinking! You've turned them into faggots! You've— you've burned out the Excessive Machine! You've blown all its fuses!

Barbarella: [sighing] My goodness!

Dildano: The time is right! The Queen is in her Chamber of Dreams.

Barbarella: What about the key?

Dildano: Ah, the key.

Dildano: There is the secret key.

Dildano: Where?

Dildano: It's invisible, of course. Only an invisible key can open an invisible wall.

Dildano: [[w:Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch|Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch] Our rendezvous point will be at 1600 hours. And our password will be… "]".

Barbarella: You mean, the secret password is "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch"?

Dildano: Exactly.

Dildano: She sleeps alone in a room above the Mathmos, surrounded by a wall of impenetrable energy, to which she alone has the secret key. There exists, however, a second secret key, which my agents have located, and is now in my possession. You want to discover the whereabouts of Durand Durand. I want to capture the Black Queen. You follow my meaning.

Barbarella: If you really do have the second secret key… why haven't you used it already?

Dildano: Ah!

Dildano: Ah. Ah — ah! Because our forces have not as yet been strong enough! The capture of the Black Queen, ah… has to be associated with a military… coup! Hmm. With your weaponry and spacecraft, this can be brought about. With the Black Queen in your control, you can get her to divulge the whereabouts of Durand Durand!

Barbarella: Yes, I see.

Dildano: Good.

Dildano: The password — quickly!

Barbarella: I don't understand!

Dildano: Are you not a political prisoner?

Barbarella: I don't think so.

Dildano: Then you're not one of us.

Barbarella: I'm from Earth.

Dildano: [[revolution] Earth! Planet of the ]s! W-w-will you join our cause?

Barbarella: What cause? Who are you?

Dildano: I-I'm Dildano, head of the revolutionary forces. This is our headquarters.

Barbarella: I suppose you realize you've saved my life.

Dildano: A life without cause is a life without effect.

Barbarella: Well, I-I'm sure I could get you a substantial recompense from my government.

Dildano: Earth woman. Shall I tell you what I would like?

Barbarella: I think I know.

Dildano: No! No, not like that! Like on Earth, on-on-on Ea— on Earth! The pill! I-I-I have the pill!

Barbarella: [[tradition] But… uh… Couldn't we do it your way? I don't want to change your ]s.

Barbarella: This is really much too poetic a way to die!

Great Tyrant: Tell me, my fancy, fuzzy freak — what do you think of, when you make love to Barbarella?

Pygar: Make love? I do not understand.

Great Tyrant: Don't be coy with me — you are in no position. If only you had one eye in your head…

Great Tyrant: … you would see what a delight I am! My face, my body — all my things are a delight! An exquisite delight.

Pygar: What is it you want?

Great Tyrant: I shall share my delights with you. You shall make love to me.

Pygar: An angel does not make love. An angel is love.

Great Tyrant: Then you're a dead duck. Guards! To the Mathmos with this winged fruitcake!

Great Tyrant: So, my Pretty-Pretty, we meet again.

Barbarella: You! The little one-eyed wench!

Great Tyrant: [[Evil] You have a good memory, Pretty-Pretty. Yes, sometimes I like to go among my people. Be like them. Ordinary. "]", as you would call it. So… I'm your little one-eyed wench. I'm also the Great Tyrant.

Barbarella: Well! That's nice.

Great Tyrant: It amuses me immensely! Now I suppose you're interested in the whereabouts and welfare of a certain party, yes?

Barbarella: W— yes, I am! I'm here on the orders of the President of the Republic of Earth. I'm here to find Durand-Durand.

Great Tyrant: I'm not talking about him! I'm speaking of the angel!

Barbarella: Pygar?

Great Tyrant: [[Crime; [pleasure] Yes, Pygar. He has escaped the labyrinth. ]. He has destroyed twelve of my black guards. Crime. And he dares to deprive me of a ] unique in Sogo — an Earthling. Crime! Crime!

Barbarella: Where is Pygar?

Great Tyrant: You want your fine-feathered friend?

Great Tyrant: There he is.

Barbarella: Pygar!

Great Tyrant: Amusing, isn't it, Pretty-Pretty? Don't you feel like playing?

Barbarella: De-crucify the angel!

Great Tyrant: What?

Barbarella: De-crucify him or I'll melt your face!

Great Tyrant: So it was a trick, was it? You should have saved your tricks for… for…

Concierge: [[birds] For the ], Your Majesty?

Great Tyrant: Yes! Yes, the birds! The birds! Give her to the birds!

The Chamber: [[life; [death] Ye who have chosen to die, be welcome! To terminate the bitterness of ], you are entitled to select from three exciting and surprising forms of ], one of which awaits beyond each of the doors you see before you. Should you fail to choose, you will be given to the Mathmos. There is no appeal.

Barbarella: Pygar, come. Tell me what that means.

Pygar: Chamber… of Ultimate… Solution".

Barbarella: I don't like the sound of that.

Barbarella: That's screaming! A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.

Great Tyrant: Hello, Pretty-Pretty.

Barbarella: [uneasily] Hello.

Barbarella: Thank you very much.

Great Tyrant: Do you want to come and play with me? For someone like you I charge nothing.

Great Tyrant: You're very pretty, Pretty-Pretty.

Barbarella: My name isn't Pretty-Pretty, it's Barbarella.

Barbarella: [[planet] I'm from the ] Earth. My name is Barbarella.

Pygar: But you're soft and warm! We're told that Earth beings are cold.

Barbarella: [slyly smiling] Not all of us.

Mark Hand: And now, Barbarella… don't you agree with me? That in some things, the old-fashioned ways are best after all?

Barbarella: What? Oh, that. Yes, I must admit it was rather… interesting. Still, I see what they mean by saying it's distracting.

Barbarella: [[government] I'm so grateful for what you've done, I hardly know how to begin to thank you. I'm positive I can get you some sort of recompense from my ]. I mean, if— if there's anything you need, or that I can do, please tell me.

Mark Hand: Well, you could let me… make love to you.

Barbarella: Make love", did you say?

Mark Hand: Yes!

Barbarella: What do you mean? You don't even know my psychocardiogram!

Mark Hand: Eh?

Barbarella: Well, on Earth, for centuries, people haven't made love unless their psychocardiogram readings were in perfect confluence.

Barbarella: Do you have any pills?

Mark Hand: Pills?!

Barbarella: Oh, never mind. I have some here.

Mark Hand: Uh, b-b-uh… what is this pill?

Barbarella: It's an exaltation transference pellet, of course.

Mark Hand: Hmm. I know nothing of this.

Barbarella: I see. Well, on Earth, when our psychocardiogram readings are in perfect confluence, and we wish to "make love", as you call it, we take an exaltation transference pellet, and remain like this — here, let me show you…

Barbarella: … for one minute, or until full rapport is achieved.

Mark Hand: Ah! I don't care for that!

Mark Hand: This! This is what I mean. This! The bed.

Barbarella: That?! But nobody's done that for centuries! I mean, nobody except the very poor, who can't afford the pills and the psychocardiogram readings.

Mark Hand: Why not?

Barbarella: [[danger] Cause it was proved to be distracting and a ] to maximum efficiency! And… and because it was pointless to continue it when other substitutes for ego support and self-esteem were made available.

Barbarella: [[weapon] Why would anybody want to invent a ]?

President: How should I know?

Barbarella: [[universe] I mean, the ] has been pacified for centuries… sir.

President: What we know of it. The trouble is, we don't know anything about Tau Ceti or its inhabitants.

Barbarella: You mean they could still be living in a primitive state of neurotic irresponsibility?

President: Precisely.

Barbarella: Something must be done!

President: Yes. And you are the girl who must do it.

Barbarella: Why me?!

President: [[police] Barbarella! I have no armies, or ]… and I can't spare the Presidential Band. Besides, you're a five-star, double-rated astronavigatrix. Your mission, then.

President: [[stars] Find Durand Durand, and use all of your incomparable talents to preserve the security of the ].

President: Barbarella?

Barbarella: Mr. President!

President: Love.

Barbarella: Love.

Barbarella: Just a moment — I'll slip something on.

President: Don't trouble yourself. This is an affair of state.

Singer: Barbarella, psychedella / There's a kind of cockle shell about you…

Chorus: Barbarella, Bah-Barbarella…

Pygar: [[memory] An angel has no ].

Pygar: [[Earth] But you're soft and warm! We're told that ] beings are cold.

Pygar: [[angel; [love] An ] does not make love, an angel is ].

Barbarella: [[drama] A good many ]tic situations begin with screaming.