28 quotes
Space Age Adventuress and Her Bizarre Adventures
Taglines
The space age adventuress whose sex-ploits are among the most bizarre ever seen.
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Exploring the Unknown of Tau Ceti
Barbarella
Why would anybody want to invent a ]?
[[weapon]
President
How should I know?
Barbarella
I mean, the ] has been pacified for centuries… sir.
[[universe]
President
What we know of it. The trouble is, we don't know anything about Tau Ceti or its inhabitants.
Barbarella
You mean they could still be living in a primitive state of neurotic irresponsibility?
President
Precisely.
Barbarella
Something must be done!
President
Yes. And you are the girl who must do it.
Barbarella
Why me?!
President
Barbarella! I have no armies, or ]… and I can't spare the Presidential Band. Besides, you're a five-star, double-rated astronavigatrix. Your mission, then.
[[police]
President
Find Durand Durand, and use all of your incomparable talents to preserve the security of the ].
[[stars]
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Secret Password Reveal in Barbarella
Dildano
Our rendezvous point will be at 1600 hours. And our password will be… "]".
[[w:Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch|Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch]
Barbarella
You mean, the secret password is "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch"?
Dildano
Exactly.
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The Origin of Many Complications
Barbarella
A good many ]tic situations begin with screaming.
[[drama]
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A Poetic Reflection on Mortality
Barbarella
This is really much too poetic a way to die!
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Confrontation Over the Positronic Ray
Durand Durand
I speak of the ]… the ] of pure evil!
[[dignity; [nobility]
Barbarella
What have you done with the positronic ray?
Durand Durand
Oh, so that's it.
Barbarella
What does it do?
Durand Durand
All persons and objects in its path are de-minimalized to the fourth level.
Barbarella
You mean—
Durand Durand
That's right. Replaced in the fourth dimension, irretrievably.
Durand Durand
Whoever succeeds in killing her will be put immediately to a horrible death. Hence my prudence.
Durand Durand
I find horrible the idea that one could do to me, that which I do to others.
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Confrontation Between Barbarella and the Great Tyrant
Great Tyrant
So, my Pretty-Pretty, we meet again.
Barbarella
You! The little one-eyed wench!
Great Tyrant
You have a good memory, Pretty-Pretty. Yes, sometimes I like to go among my people. Be like them. Ordinary. "]", as you would call it. So… I'm your little one-eyed wench. I'm also the Great Tyrant.
[[Evil]
Barbarella
Well! That's nice.
Great Tyrant
It amuses me immensely! Now I suppose you're interested in the whereabouts and welfare of a certain party, yes?
Barbarella
W— yes, I am! I'm here on the orders of the President of the Republic of Earth. I'm here to find Durand-Durand.
Great Tyrant
I'm not talking about him! I'm speaking of the angel!
Barbarella
Pygar?
Great Tyrant
Yes, Pygar. He has escaped the labyrinth. ]. He has destroyed twelve of my black guards. Crime. And he dares to deprive me of a ] unique in Sogo — an Earthling. Crime! Crime!
[[Crime; [pleasure]
Barbarella
Where is Pygar?
Great Tyrant
You want your fine-feathered friend?
Great Tyrant
There he is.
Barbarella
Pygar!
Great Tyrant
Amusing, isn't it, Pretty-Pretty? Don't you feel like playing?
Barbarella
De-crucify the angel!
Great Tyrant
What?
Barbarella
De-crucify him or I'll melt your face!
Great Tyrant
So it was a trick, was it? You should have saved your tricks for… for…
Concierge
For the ], Your Majesty?
[[birds]
Great Tyrant
Yes! Yes, the birds! The birds! Give her to the birds!
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Confusion Over Political Identity and Password
Dildano
The password — quickly!
Barbarella
I don't understand!
Dildano
Are you not a political prisoner?
Barbarella
I don't think so.
Dildano
Then you're not one of us.
Barbarella
I'm from Earth.
Dildano
Earth! Planet of the ]s! W-w-will you join our cause?
[[revolution]
Barbarella
What cause? Who are you?
Dildano
I-I'm Dildano, head of the revolutionary forces. This is our headquarters.
Barbarella
I suppose you realize you've saved my life.
Dildano
A life without cause is a life without effect.
Barbarella
Well, I-I'm sure I could get you a substantial recompense from my government.
Dildano
Earth woman. Shall I tell you what I would like?
Barbarella
I think I know.
Dildano
No! No, not like that! Like on Earth, on-on-on Ea— on Earth! The pill! I-I-I have the pill!
Barbarella
But… uh… Couldn't we do it your way? I don't want to change your ]s.
[[tradition]
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Old-Fashioned Ways Have Their Merits
Mark Hand
And now, Barbarella… don't you agree with me? That in some things, the old-fashioned ways are best after all?
Barbarella
What? Oh, that. Yes, I must admit it was rather… interesting. Still, I see what they mean by saying it's distracting.
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Who Will Save the Universe?
Taglines
Who can save the universe?
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The Nature of Love and Angels
Pygar
An ] does not make love, an angel is ].
[[angel; [love]
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Barbarella - Dialogue 2
President
Barbarella?
Barbarella
Mr. President!
President
Love.
Barbarella
Love.
Barbarella
Just a moment — I'll slip something on.
President
Don't trouble yourself. This is an affair of state.
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Barbarella - Dialogue 17
Dildano
The time is right! The Queen is in her Chamber of Dreams.
Barbarella
What about the key?
Dildano
Ah, the key.
Dildano
There is the secret key.
Dildano
Where?
Dildano
It's invisible, of course. Only an invisible key can open an invisible wall.
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Contrasting Perceptions of Earth Beings
Barbarella
I'm from the ] Earth. My name is Barbarella.
[[planet]
Pygar
But you're soft and warm! We're told that Earth beings are cold.
Barbarella
Not all of us.
[slyly smiling]
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The Start of Dramatic Situations
Barbarella
That's screaming! A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.
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Concerns About the Chamber of Ultimate Solution
Barbarella
Pygar, come. Tell me what that means.
Pygar
Chamber… of Ultimate… Solution".
Barbarella
I don't like the sound of that.
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Choices in the Face of Death
The Chamber
Ye who have chosen to die, be welcome! To terminate the bitterness of ], you are entitled to select from three exciting and surprising forms of ], one of which awaits beyond each of the doors you see before you. Should you fail to choose, you will be given to the Mathmos. There is no appeal.
[[life; [death]
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The Nature of an Angel
Pygar
An angel has no ].
[[memory]
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The Mathmos Protects Itself from Innocence
Barbarella
Where are we?
Great Tyrant
In the Mathmos, and alive!
Barbarella
I can see that, but why?
Great Tyrant
It seems the Mathmos has created this bubble to protect itself from your innocence.
Great Tyrant
You are so good, you made the Mathmos vomit.
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A Grateful Offer and Unexpected Proposal
Barbarella
I'm so grateful for what you've done, I hardly know how to begin to thank you. I'm positive I can get you some sort of recompense from my ]. I mean, if— if there's anything you need, or that I can do, please tell me.
[[government]
Mark Hand
Well, you could let me… make love to you.
Barbarella
Make love", did you say?
Mark Hand
Yes!
Barbarella
What do you mean? You don't even know my psychocardiogram!
Mark Hand
Eh?
Barbarella
Well, on Earth, for centuries, people haven't made love unless their psychocardiogram readings were in perfect confluence.
Barbarella
Do you have any pills?
Mark Hand
Pills?!
Barbarella
Oh, never mind. I have some here.
Mark Hand
Uh, b-b-uh… what is this pill?
Barbarella
It's an exaltation transference pellet, of course.
Mark Hand
Hmm. I know nothing of this.
Barbarella
I see. Well, on Earth, when our psychocardiogram readings are in perfect confluence, and we wish to "make love", as you call it, we take an exaltation transference pellet, and remain like this — here, let me show you…
Barbarella
… for one minute, or until full rapport is achieved.
Mark Hand
Ah! I don't care for that!
Mark Hand
This! This is what I mean. This! The bed.
Barbarella
That?! But nobody's done that for centuries! I mean, nobody except the very poor, who can't afford the pills and the psychocardiogram readings.
Mark Hand
Why not?
Barbarella
Cause it was proved to be distracting and a ] to maximum efficiency! And… and because it was pointless to continue it when other substitutes for ego support and self-esteem were made available.
[[danger]
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Malfunction of the Excessive Machine
Concierge
I don't believe it! Wretched, wretched girl! What have you done to my Excessive Machine?! You've undone it! You've undone me! Look! The energy cables are shrinking! You've turned them into faggots! You've— you've burned out the Excessive Machine! You've blown all its fuses!
Barbarella
My goodness!
[sighing]
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Secret Keys and Military Ambitions
Dildano
She sleeps alone in a room above the Mathmos, surrounded by a wall of impenetrable energy, to which she alone has the secret key. There exists, however, a second secret key, which my agents have located, and is now in my possession. You want to discover the whereabouts of Durand Durand. I want to capture the Black Queen. You follow my meaning.
Barbarella
If you really do have the second secret key… why haven't you used it already?
Dildano
Ah!
Dildano
Ah. Ah — ah! Because our forces have not as yet been strong enough! The capture of the Black Queen, ah… has to be associated with a military… coup! Hmm. With your weaponry and spacecraft, this can be brought about. With the Black Queen in your control, you can get her to divulge the whereabouts of Durand Durand!
Barbarella
Yes, I see.
Dildano
Good.
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Barbarella's Daring Adventures Await
Taglines
See Barbarella do her thing!
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Musical Tribute to Barbarella's Charm
Singer
Barbarella, psychedella / There's a kind of cockle shell about you…
Chorus
Barbarella, Bah-Barbarella…
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Perceptions of Warmth and Coldness in Beings
Pygar
But you're soft and warm! We're told that ] beings are cold.
[[Earth]
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An Invitation to Play in Barbarella
Great Tyrant
Hello, Pretty-Pretty.
Barbarella
Hello.
[uneasily]
Barbarella
Thank you very much.
Great Tyrant
Do you want to come and play with me? For someone like you I charge nothing.
Great Tyrant
You're very pretty, Pretty-Pretty.
Barbarella
My name isn't Pretty-Pretty, it's Barbarella.
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Confrontation Between Barbarella and the Great Tyrant
Barbarella
Wake up, Your Majesty! You must wake up!
Great Tyrant
Vade retro, Earth girl! I know you don't really exist. {{hnote|'Vade retro is Latin for get thee behind or go away', as in Vade retro me, Satana ('get away from me, Satan').}}
Barbarella
That may be, Your Majesty, but we'd better stick to what we see.
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Delight in Desire and Confusion
Great Tyrant
Tell me, my fancy, fuzzy freak — what do you think of, when you make love to Barbarella?
Pygar
Make love? I do not understand.
Great Tyrant
Don't be coy with me — you are in no position. If only you had one eye in your head…
Great Tyrant
… you would see what a delight I am! My face, my body — all my things are a delight! An exquisite delight.
Pygar
What is it you want?
Great Tyrant
I shall share my delights with you. You shall make love to me.
Pygar
An angel does not make love. An angel is love.
Great Tyrant
Then you're a dead duck. Guards! To the Mathmos with this winged fruitcake!
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