Harley Quinn Disrupts Opera Night
Harley Quinn:
Wah, wah, wah". Crying clowns, who needs them, am I right? Ladies and jerks, there's been a slight change to tonight's program. Along with the opera robbing you -for 1,000 bucks a ticket... ...we're gonna rob you too! -Ha-ha! I'm also here for my puddin', who's been clown-napped. To get him back, I have to kill.. Eh, not you. -Maybe you. uh, you You I should kill for that stupid beard! Oh, there you are. Bruce Wayne. Nice tux. Hope it's not a rental.
Bruce Wayne:
Tom, get the ladies to safety.
Thomas Elliot:
Okay, but I'm coming back.
Selina Kyle:
What are you gonna do?
Bruce Wayne:
She wants me, she'll follow me.
Selina Kyle:
Don't get killed.
Harley Quinn:
Hold still, you wascally wabbit.
Harley Quinn:
Bingo-matic.
Harley Quinn:
Whoops. Sorry, Rico!
Harley Quinn:
Look Up Huh? What?
Catwoman:
Your jester drag was over in the 90s, now it's just sad.
Harley Quinn:
What is it the theater folks say? Break a face!
Harley Quinn: [imitates retching; Harley disappears]
Bats with Cats, now? Ugh. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Catwoman:
Batman.
Batman:
Lie still. You've been hurt.
Catwoman:
Not that bad. Get the clown.
Joker: [Batman breaks down the door and sees Thomas Elliot shot and the Joker laughing with a gun in her hand.]
Oh, boy. This does not look good, does it?
Batman: [Angry]
JOKER!
Joker: [He drops the gun; clears throat; Batman hits Joker]
You know what the joke is here I'm totally innocent. Ugh, that doesn't even sound right, does it?
Joker: [chuckling; He looks at his back]
Batsy, I was in a basement until five minutes ago. I'm also looking for Harley. Have you seen her? Stop. Stop!
Joker: [spits; panting and wheezing; He throws Joker on the ground]
Batman, stop... , Stop me if you've heard this one before. Two guys walk into a bar... I want you to break your code, but for something I actually did.
Jim Gordon:
Batman, don't! I'm warning you, Batman, let him go! Do not make me do this, not over him. I won't let you throw your life away. Gotham needs Batman.
Joker: [He puts his hand on his throat; clears throat]
That sentimental claptrap worked. Well, back to the grind. Who's Robin these days?
Jim Gordon: [Hits Joker]
Shut your damn mouth. Strip him. Double hand and leg cuffs.
Joker: [Joker laughing maniacally]
Ooh, kinky.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation on Worth and Memories
Selina Kyle: [In bed with Batman/Bruce Wayne]
I don't often say something was worth the wait because I hate waiting. But that, meow.
Batman:
I feel the same.
Selina Kyle:
Oh, my god. Those scars... so many.
Batman: [Sits back, showing scars on his chest]
You, uh, remember these?
Selina Kyle: [Recognizes them]
I'd just gotten my retractable claws, cost a small fortune.
Batman:
They worked. I had to upgrade my Kevlar body armor after that.
Selina Kyle:
Uh, sorry?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Nature of Criminality Discussed
Bruce Wayne:
Hello, Damian. Titus.
Damian Wayne:
Pennyworth tells me you're romantically involved with a criminal now?
Bruce Wayne:
Ex-criminal, Damian, and it's only a date.
Damian Wayne:
There are no ex-criminals, Father, only ones who aren't breaking the law at the moment.
Bruce Wayne:
She's not like that, anymore. Damian, I...
Damian Wayne:
Look, I understand. This never-ending mission of ours is a lonely endeavor. If this trollop provides some carnal release, so be it.
Bruce Wayne:
Trollop? Your slang skills need work.
Damian Wayne:
But I needn't bring up your past poor choices in women, including but not limited to my mother.
Bruce Wayne:
Damian, I'm not...
Damian Wayne:
Not that I'm ungrateful being here, mind you...
Damian Wayne:
...However, I must insist that you use protection. And another thing, cover your drink.
Bruce Wayne:
Goodbye, Damian.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Code That Defines Batman
Catwoman:
You're absolutely insane. He killed your friend. Tried to kill Nightwing. Hell, he almost killed me and you're sorry he's dead?
Batman:
I had to try. If someone can be saved, I have to try.
Catwoman:
You do, don't you? It's a compulsion. You and your goddamn code. And you'll die because of it, you know this, right? Will that make it all better?
Batman:
Without a code, I'm no better than them.
Catwoman:
But this is Superman.
Batman:
Yes, and if he wanted we'd be dead already. Deep down he's a good person and deep down I'm not.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
