Battlefield Earth (2000) - Quotes

Critical reaction: [[:w:San Francisco Examiner|San Francisco Examiner] * Wesley Morris, ]

Critical reaction: [[:w:White Zombie|White Zombie; [:w:GWAR|GWAR] ...the greatest ]-] music video ever ... If filmmaking has ever been less thrilling and more disengaging, I'd like to see it.

Critical reaction: [[:w:Pittsburgh Post-Gazette|Pittsburgh Post-Gazette] * Ron Weiskind, ]

Critical reaction: ...an authentic howler of the Big Dumb and Loud school...

Critical reaction: [[:w:Washington Post|Washington Post] * Rita Kempley, ]

Critical reaction: ...breathtakingly awful in concept and execution... trite, befogged and dorky... glowering, humorless, clumsily rendered.

Critical reaction: ...like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time... something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies.

Critical reaction: [[:w:Slate (magazine)|Slate] * David Edelstein, ]

Critical reaction: ...a picture that will be hailed without controversy as the worst of its kind ever made.

Critical reaction: [[:w:Seattle Post-Intelligencer|Seattle Post-Intelligencer] * Sean Axmaker, ]

Critical reaction: The plot depends on the most ludicrous decisions and senseless actions ever made by a thinking race.

Critical reaction: [[:w:Citysearch|Citysearch] * Arne Johnson, ]

Critical reaction: [[:w:The_Clan_of_the_Cave_Bear_(film)|Clan of the Cave Bear; [:w:Star Trek: The Next Generation|Star Trek: The Next Generation] Battlefield Earth has the feel of a movie made by a precocious 8-year-old with access to too many leftover costumes from ] and ].

Terl: Why don't you vaporize me?

Jonnie Goodboy Tyler: Leverage.

Chrissy: What if he's not dead?

Parson Staffer: Hope is an admirable quality, but foolish isn't.

Terl: Ker, I'd like you to meet Chirk.

Terl: She's, um ... she's, um ...

Chirk: His soon-to-be newly acquired secretary.

Terl: Yes.

Ker: [''Eagerly''] Really?

Terl: [''Quietly, to Ker''] She's stupid enough not to be a menace, good-looking enough to be decorative; she gets drunk with economical speed ... and has other advantages.

Ker: Ooh. I can see that.

Zete: Home Office is well aware of your academic achievements and obvious talents. That's why we've decided not to keep you here for another five cycles.

Ker: It's a joke!

Terl: Oh, thank you sir. I don't know if I could have kept my sanity to be here another five cycles!

Zete: [laughs maniacally] We've decided to keep you here another fifty cycles, with endless options for renewal! Those options, of course, being at Home Office's discretion, not yours. The senator has a lot of friends!

Zete: [''Looking at an overhead photo of a car''] What is this species?

Terl: [[Dogs|dog] Well, according to the Clinko historians, the species is called "].

Zete: Dog?

Terl: Yes.

Zete: Obviously the superior race, having the man-animal chauffeur it around.

Terl: It is a pleasure to see you, Your Excellency, and I would be honored to expedite your clearance through security.

Zete: [[Earth] Please, call me Zete. Does all of ] look like this?

Terl: Oh, I'm afraid so, sir.

Zete: Pathetic. All the green and the blue sky. They told me this planet was ugly, but this has got to be one of the ugliest crap holes in the entire universe.

Terl: I couldn't agree with you more.

Zete: I hate these puny undersized planets. The gravity is so ... different.

Terl: Well, one does get used to it.

Zete: And the human animals, grossly undersized.

Ker: They don't make very good eating, Your Excellency.

Terl: [holding Jonnie] Who is responsible for allowing this man-animal to run around unsupervised?

Processing Clerk: The man-animal shot the wrangler, sir.

Terl: I'm a little pressed for time. Why don't you save the going-away jokes for later?

Clerk: No joke, sir. I swear. The man-animal somehow got hold of his gun.

Terl: [switches the clerk's gun to "kill" and hands it to Jonnie] Really? Show me. Reach for the gun.

Clerk: Sir, I might get shot.

Terl: Sure, you might, and I might suddenly grow a third arm!

Clerk: Sir, I swear it shot the wrangler!

Terl: Any report filed still has my name on it, and you are out of your skull-bone if you think I am going to write on a report, "shot by man-animal," as the cause of death unless I see it!

Clerk: If I obey your command I may get killed.

Terl: [The clerk reaches for the gun; Jonnie shoots him.; laughs] And if you don't, it's a certainty that you will be killed. Reach for the gun. Well now, I'll be damned.

Ker: [laughs] Look at the bright side! You may not be wallowing in luxury on Psychlo, but at least you finally got your gold.

Ker: I'm going to fire all my wives and buy new ones! Maybe pretty ones this time.

Chirk: I am going to make you as happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of kerbango.

Terl: You have been quite a challenge, rat-brain, and you're going to make a hell of a conversation piece when you're stuffed and hanging on the wall at the academy!

Terl: [[Human|man-animals] Attention. This is Terl, your chief of security. Exterminate all ] at will, and happy hunting!

Terl: Never underestimate what a little leverage can do, rat-brain!

Terl: Stupid humans!

Terl: [Taking Jonnie to a library] When we attacked your planet, all your soldiers and all their advanced technology could only put up a measly nine-minute fight before they were exterminated, which is why man is an endangered species. Everything you humans knew is here, and you can look at anything you want, because there is nothing that will help you.

Terl: A man-animal getting leverage over a Psychlo? That'll be the day.

Terl: Crap-lousy ceiling! I thought I told you to get some man-animals in here and fix it.

Terl: While you were still learning how to spell your name, I was being trained to conquer galaxies!