Belfast Quotes

Ma We can't all leave. There'd be nobody left but the nutters.

Auntie Violet Aye, and nobody to cook their tea, run messages and wipe their arses. That'd make the violence stop in about ten minutes.

Ma How could I leave Belfast?

Auntie Violet I wouldn't worry about it. The Irish were born for leaving. Otherwise, the rest of the world would have no pubs. It just needs half of us to stay, so that the other half can get sentimental about the ones that went. All the Irish need to survive is a phone, a Guinness and the sheet music to Danny Boy.

Buddy She looks at me sometimes, but we're not allowed to talk in the class, so I can't say anything. And then when we go out to the playground, she always goes off with the other girls. Anyways, I think she loves that other fella.

Pop Ah, you don't know that for sure. Women are very mysterious.

Granny And women can smash your face in, too, mister.

Pop Your granny's become less mysterious over the years.

Buddy Daddy, do you think me and that wee girl have a future?

Pa Well, why the heck not?

Buddy You know she's Catholic?

Pa That wee girl can be a practicing Hindu, or a Southern Baptist, or a vegetarian Antichrist, but if she's kind, and she's fair and you two respect each other, she and her people are welcome in our house any day of the week. Agreed?

Buddy Every night, before I go to sleep, when I say my prayers, I ask God if He could fix it so that when I wake up in the morning, I'm the best footballer in the world. And then I also ask another thing as well. That when I grow up .. Can I marry Katherine? Even if she loves Ronnie Boyd. But she could still see im. But she'd marry me. That's what I want.

Pop Too long a sacrifice can make a stone of the heart.

Granny Oh, is that what does it?

Pop Yeah, well, you don't usually buy your wisdom with a walk in the park. Your heart has to explode.

Buddy She never sees me. She's always doing her bloody homework. If she were a wee bit more stupid like me, we'd be sitting together by now.

Buddy We're going to the pictures. He's taking us to ].

Granny What in the name of God is that?

Buddy It's a flying car.

Granny Oh, God, I've heard it all.

Buddy It goes over a cliff, and you nearly fall out of your seat. Do you want to come? It'll be company for you till my Pop's home.

Granny If God had wanted me to see flying cars, I'd have been born with blinking wings. You love your films, don't you? I was a great one for the pictures when I was your age. I used to think you could climb right inside the screen and visit all those strange places you saw. Like that one in that film. What was that, uh...? Uh, ]. Did you ever see that?

Buddy No. What was the name of the place, Granny?

Granny ]. That's what they called it.

Buddy Did you ever go there?

Granny There were no roads to Shangri-La from our part of Belfast.

Pop Belfast will still be here when you get back.

Buddy Will you?

Pop I'm going nowhere you won't find me.

Taglines Belfast 1969. Everything was about innocence. Everything was about family. Everything was about to change.

Pop You know who you are, don't you?

Buddy Yes, Pop.

Pop You're Buddy from Belfast 15, where everybody knows you and your pop looks out for you and your mummy looks out for you, your daddy looks out for you, your granny looks out for you, your brother looks out for you, and the whole family looks out for you. And wherever you go and whatever you become, that'll always be the truth. And that thought will keep you safe. It'll keep you happy... Will you remember that for me?

Buddy Yes, Pop.

Billy Clanton We'll keep it simple. You're with us or you're against us. Clock's ticking. You're a soft touch! Time for real Protestants to step up!

Pa Ach, you're no real Protestant. You're a jumped-up gangster and always were.

Pa Be good. And if you can't be good...

Buddy Be careful!

Ma You and me, we've known each other since we were toddlers. We've known this street and every street round it all our lives. And every man, woman and child that lives in every bloody house, whether we like it or not. I like it. And you say you've a wee garden for them boys? But here, they can play wherever the hell they like, cause everybody knows them, everybody likes them and everybody looks after them. If we go over the water, them people's not gonna understand a word we say. And half of them, they'll take the hand out of us for sounding different. And the other half, they'll hate us cause men here are killing their young sons on our streets. They'll think we don't give a shite. And you think they're gonna welcome us with open arms? What, and say, Come on in. Well done for stealing the house off of us'?

Pa Things change.

Ma Aye. They do.

Buddy Is it 27?

Pop That's close enough. And now just make sure your numbers aren't very clear to read. She might give you the benefit of the doubt if your seven looks like a one with a fancy tail, right? The same with a two and a six. Right? Keep her guessing. That means you'll have two or three horses in every race.

Buddy Isn't that cheating?

Pop No, well, I'd call it spread betting. And if it gets you moved up by one seat to bask in the light of her glory, then you're off to the races.

Buddy But sure there's only one right answer.

Pop If that were true, son, people wouldn't be blowing themselves up all over this town.

Buddy My ma says, if we went across the water, they wouldn't understand the way we talk.

Pop That shouldn't be a problem, son. I've been married to your granny for 50 years. I've never understood a word she's said. And if they can't understand you, then they're not listening, and that's their problem. You know, when I was in Leicester, they said the same thing about me. You know, so I put on a different bloody accent every day just to annoy them. They never knew who I was. But I did, and that's the only one who needs to know. You know who you are, don't you?

Pop When you've gray hair, people think your heart never skipped.

Granny Did yours ever skip?

Pop Aye, it danced a bloody jig every time you walked in the room.

Granny Nah. You were full of it then, and you're full of it now.

Buddy Was that our side that done all that to them Catholic houses in our street, Daddy?

Pa There is no our side and their side in our street. Or there didn't used to be, anyway. It's all bloody religion. That's the problem.

Buddy Then why are you sending us to church?

Pa Because your granny'd kill me if I didn't.

Ma No wonder you brought us to this.

Pa It's educational for the boys.

Ma Aye. ] is a hell of an education.

Moira They can just come up to you when you're not expecting it and ask you, Are you Protestant or Catholic? But it's a trick question, you see, cause they don't tell you what they are. And what do you say then to not get a dig in the gob?

Buddy I'm a Catholic?

Moira Wrong. That's exactly what they think you will say. They think you're trying to bluff them. But you have to double-bluff them.

Buddy How?

Moira You say, I'm a Protestant.

Buddy But I am a Protestant.

Moira That's the point!

Billy Clanton You know what the problem is with men like you? You think you're better than the rest of us.

Pa And the problem with men like you is you know you're not.

Taglines No matter how far you go, you never forget where you came from.

Pa So, the doctor says, Listen, John, I've got some bad news and worse. And John says, Oh, no. What's the bad news? And he goes, Well, you've only got 24 hours to live. John says, That's, that's awful. What could be worse than that? Doctor says, Well, I've been trying to get ahold of you since yesterday.

Billy Clanton Folks always have a problem with change. But you'd better get used to it, mister. People like me run this town now. And it's people like you that bring us all down.

Taglines Our memories make us.

Mr. Stewart Right, Billy, we've no call for fists here.

Billy Clanton Aye? Well, what is it the man says? A fist is only as good or bad as the man using it. Remember that.

Buddy I've had too much God for one day.

Ma Your granny says you can never have too much God, you might need him before too long.

Granny I'm always saying to your man there, what's yours is mine, and what's mine's me own.

Pop Oh, that puts me in mind of a great wee system we had in the old days for paying the rent. The rent man would come round and collect the money for every house in the whole street, and once he had done and all the rent books were marked up to date, one of the boys would hold him up at gunpoint in the back entry and take all the money back off him, and then he'd hand it straight back to all the residents in the street, with a little commission for the service. Yeah, it was a very effective system. And the rent man was so good about it in the end that eventually they cut him in for a wee bit, too, and everybody was happy. Except for the council, I suppose.

Miss Lewis Well, I'm pleased to say your times tables were a lot more impressive to hear than your test scores were to read. The whole point of these weekly tests is to monitor your progress. The best will sit directly by my desk, the seat of learning, and the rest of you will view your ] struggles from the distance you have imposed upon yourself by a lack of application.