Bend It Like Beckham (2003) - Quotes

Joe: Look, I can't let you go without knowing.

Jess: What?

Joe: That even with the distance, and it concerns your family, we might still have something. Don't you think?

Jess: Joe! I'm going! They said I could go!

Men in Background: Oi, oi, oi!

Jess: I'm sorry, I forgot.

Joe: That's okay now. I'm not your coach anymore. We can do what we want.

Jess: Joe...

Joe: Your dad's not here, is he?

Jess: Joe... I'm sorry.

Joe: What?

Jess: I can't.

Joe: Can I ask why?

Jess: Letting me go to America is a big step for my mum and dad. I don't know how they'd survive if I told them about you too.

Joe: I understand.

Jess: How am I going to tell em, Tony? I'll have to now or I'll end up a solicitor, bored out of my mind.

Tony: Come with me. Mum, Uncle, Auntie... We've got something we want to tell you.

Mr. Bhamra: Why is he holding her hand?

Tony: We've been good friends for a long time now. We'd like to ask for your blessings. We'd like to get engaged. But there's one condition, Jesminder goes to college first, anywhere that she wants.

Mrs. Bhamra: [[w:Glasgow|Glasgow; [w:Portsmouth|Portsmouth] Of course, putar! Well, we have relatives all the way in ], in ]...

Jess: Mum, Dad... Tony's lying. We're not getting married. Tony only said that to help me, but I'm not lying any more. I played in the final today, and we won!

Mrs. Bhamra: When?

Jess: I wasn't going to go but Dad let me. And it was brilliant. I played the best ever! And I was happy because I wasn't sneaking off and lying to you! I didn't ask to be good at football. Guru Nanak must have blessed me. There was a scout from America there today, and he's offered me a place at a top university with a free scholarship and a chance to play football professionally, and I really want to go, and if I can't tell you what I want now, then I'll never be happy, whatever I do.

Mrs. Bhamra: You let her leave her sister's wedding to go to a football match?!

Mr. Bhamra: Maybe you could handle her long face, I could not. I didn't have the heart to stop her. And that's why she's ready to go all the way to America now!

Mrs. Bhamra: She's dead, man!

Jess: It's all right, Mum, just leave it.

Mr. Bhamra: When those bloody English cricket players threw me out of their club like a dog... I never complained. On the contrary, I vowed that I will never play again. Who suffered? Me. But I don't want Jessie to suffer. I don't want her to make the same mistakes that her father made of accepting life, accepting situations. I want her to fight. And I want her to win... because I've seen her play. She is brilliant! I don't think anybody has the right of stopping her. Two daughters made happy in one day. What else can a father ask for?

Mrs. Bhamra: At least I've taught her full Indian dinner. The rest is up to God.

Jules: [Ŗịdịṇg wịth mother] What were you thinking?!

Mrs. Paxton: I saw you with my own eyes! You were kissing after your match! I'm not stupid, you know! And anyway, look at the clothes you wear!

Jules: Mother, just because I wear trackies and play sport does not make me a lesbian!

Jules: Me and Jess were fighting because we both fancy our coach... Joe.

Paula: [pause] Joe, a man, Joe?

Jules: Yeah, as in male, Joe! Joe, our coach, Joe, man, Joe!

Jules: Anyway being a lesbian's not that big a deal

Paula: [[Martina Navratilova] Oh no of course not sweetheart no. I mean I've got nothing against it. I was cheering for ] as much as the next person.

Mrs. Paxton: [Mrs. Paxton looks down at Jess' shoes; Mrs. Paxton takes Jess' shoes] How could you be such a hypocrite? How could you be all respectful here with your lot when you've been kissing my daughter in broad daylight?! Hmm? Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes!

Old Indian woman 1: Lesbian? Her birthday's in March.

Old Indian woman 2: [[w:Pisces|a Pisces] I thought she was ].

Old Indian woman 3: [[w:Lebanese people|She no Lebanese; [w:Punjabi people|She Punjabi] ]. ]!

Pinky: Do you mind? This is my wedding!

Pinky: [Ịṇ vehịçle] What's that gora going on about you being a lezbo? I thought you fancied your coach!

Jess: I don't know what she was saying!

Pinky: Don't you want all of this? Isn't this the best day of your life, innit?

Jess: What are you doing?!

Tony: We can make the second half if we go now.

Jess: My mum and dad will go spare! I wouldn't ruin it for them.

Tony: They won't even notice.

Jess: I can't! Look how happy they are. I wouldn't want to ruin it for them.

Mr. Bhamra: What are you going to ruin?

Jess: Nothing Dad.

Tony: It's the final of the football tournament. I can drive there. Pick up her kit along the way. It won't take long.

Jess: Stop it, Tony. It doesn't matter. I don't want to spoil the day for you and Mum.

Mr. Bhamra: [Grabs Jess and pulls her aside] Pinky is so happy and you look as if you're at my funeral.

Jess: I'm sorry, Dad.

Mr. Bhamra: [Jess hugs her fạther appreciatingly] If this means I'll see you smiling on your sister's wedding day, then go now, but when you come back, I want to see you happy on the video. Play well and make us proud.

Jess: [Shows up at stadium] Joe! What's happening?

Joe: Start warming up, Bhamra. We're one-nil down, half an hour to go.

Joe: You're lucky... to have a family that cares that much about you. I can understand you don't want to mess with it.

Jess: Joe...

Joe: And I don't fancy being busted by your dad again. You better get back.

Jess: Why are you doing this to me, Joe? Every time I talk myself out of it, you come around and make it sound so easy.

Joe: I guess I don't want to give up on you.

Jess: What you playing at?

Opposing team player: [[w:Anti-Indian sentiment|Piss off, Paki; Jess repeatedly shoves the opposing player] ]!

Referee: Go away. Number 7, come here.

Mr. Paxton: What's the matter with you, ref?

Referee: [Gives a penalty marker to Jess] Number 7. Violent conduct towards a player.

Jess teammates: No! You can't do that! You haven't seen any of it, have yah? It's out of order!

Football boy 1: She is so hard!

Football boy 2: Oh, man! Unlucky, Tony, mate!

Joe: [[w:Queens Park Rangers F.C.|QPR in the final] What the hell's wrong with you, Bhamra?! I don't ever want to see anything like that from you ever again! We're lucky they're not suspending players from this tournament! Excellent! We've got ]. Three cheers - hip, hip!

Team: Hurray!

Joe: Hip, hip!

Team: Hurray!

Joe: Hip, hip!

Team: Hurray!

Joe: Brilliant!

Jess: Why did you yell at me like that? You knew the ref was out of order!

Joe: You could have cost us the tournament!

Jess: But it wasn't my fault!

Jess: You didn't have to shout at me!

Joe: I'm your coach. I have to treat you the same as everyone else

Joe: Look, Jess. I saw it. She fouled you. She tugged your shirt. You just overreacted, that's all.

Jess: That's not all. She called me a Paki. But I guess that's something you wouldn't understand.

Joe: Jess, I'm Irish. Of course I understand what that feels like.

Jess: [''Ṣịttịṇg wịth Ṭoṇy ịṅ ạ ċịty pạrk gạzebo wạtċhịṇg the ḟootbạll boys ṗlạy''] Do you fancy me, Tony?

Tony: I like you, yeah...

Jess: Maybe we can go out, then, yeah?

Tony: Jess, what's going on?

Jess: I think I need an Indian boyfriend.

Tony: What's going on? You're acting all weird.

Jess: Sorry. You know my coach, yeah?

Tony: Yeah.

Jess: I nearly kissed him in Germany.

Tony: Wow! And that's why you need an Indian boyfriend?

Jess: Well, Jules likes him, too, and now she hates me.

Tony: Look, Jessie. You can't plan who you fall for. It just happens. I mean, look at... Posh and Becks.

Jess: Well, Beckham's the best.

Tony: [Chuckles] Yeah! I REALLY LIKE BECKHAM TOO.

Jess: Well of course you do. No one can cross a ball or bend it like Beckham

Tony: [Shakes head] No, Jess. I really like Beckham.

Jess: [incredulously scoffs] What? You mean... But you're Indian! God, what's your mum gonna say?! My sister thinks you're mad about me!

Tony: I am! I just don't want to marry you.

Jess: [Glances at football boys] What would those tossers say if they knew?

Tony: Jess, you're not going to tell anyone?

Jess: Course not. It's okay, Tony. I mean, it's okay with me.

Tony: Yeah, well, you fancying your gora coach is okay with me. Besides... he's quite fit!

Paula: That's why she's been so depressed lately cạuse that Jess broke her heart! She's in love... ẈỊṬḤ Ạ ḠỊṚḶ!

Alan Paxton: You're jumping to all the wrong conclusions.

Paula: [[George Michael] But I heard her! No wonder she never looked twice at the Kevin or brought any boys home. I tried to get her nice clothes, you know we've had some lovely prints in this summer you know in swimwear and sarongs and that. She never wants to go shopping with me. It was terrible what they did to that ] going on about him and his private business in the papers like that! Oh no!

Alan Paxton: [''Ṗuts hịs hạṇd ạċross Ṗạulạ's bạċk oṇ her shoulder ''; [w:Wham!|Wham!] George Michael is still a superstar and you still listen to ]

Joe: Your parents didn't look too pleased yesterday. Have you come to tell me you're off the team for good?

Jess: It's not fair. I'm either going to let the team down or piss them off, and I don't want to upset anyone.

Joe: Why are they so frightened to let you play?

Jess: They want to protect me.

Joe: From what?

Jess: This is taking me away from everything they know.

Joe: Whose life are you living, Jess? If you try pleasing em for ever, you're gonna end up blaming em.

Jess: [''Joe puts on a dejected face''] What, like you? I'm sorry.

Joe: No, you're right. I stopped talking to my dad because we had nothing to talk about. Spent a year getting pissed trying to forget about the game, but I couldn't.

Jess: Yeah, but I can't just stop talking to them, like you.

Joe: I don't talk to my dad because I know what he'd say. He'd piss himself if he knew I was coaching girls!

Jess: How do you know that? How do you know he wouldn't be proud that you didn't just give up? You should be proud of what you've given all of us.

Joe: Then why are you giving up?

Jess: Pinks... How do you know Teets is the one?

Pinky: I just know. When you're in love with someone, you'd do anything for that person.

Jess: Pinks, do you think Mum and Dad would still speak to me if I ever brought home a gora?

Pinky: Who?!

Jess: No one. I'm just saying.

Pinky: It's that coach bloke innit! I knew something was up when he turned up here!

Jess: Nothing's happened.

Pinky: Well, make sure it doesn't, all right? You can marry anyone you want. It's fine at first when you're in love and all that but do you want to be stared at, by every family that do because you married the English bloke?

Jess: [[w:Irish people|He's Irish] ].

Pinky: Well, they all look the bloody same to them, innit? Why go to so much grief when there's so many good-looking Indian boys to marry? Now, they wear good clothes, got flashy jobs and even know how to cook and wash up! Hey, how bout that Tony? He's been mad on you for ages!

Jess: That was so brilliant the way you came to my house. You were brave enough to face my mum! Your dad can't be as bad as her!

Joe: Your mom's a barrel of laughs compared to me dad! I don't need to feel close to my family, Jess. I don't need you to feel sorry for me.

Jules: [''Ẇạlks ạwạy''] You bitch!

Jess: Shit! Jules.

Joe: Jules!

Joe: I'm sorry to barge in on you like this, but I wanted to talk to you in person. I only found out today that you didn't know Jess was playing for our team.

Mrs. Bhamra: No, we didn't.

Joe: I apologise. If I'd known, I would have encouraged Jess to tell you because I believe she's got tremendous potential.

Mr. Bhamra: I think we know better of our daughter's potential. Jess has no time for games. She'll be starting university soon.

Jess: But playing for the team is an honour!

Mrs. Bhamra: What bigger honour is there than respecting your elders?

Jess: Mom!

Mr. Bhamra: Young man, when I was a teenager in Nairobi, I was the best fast bowler in our school. Our team even won the East African Cup. But when I came to this country, nothing. I was not allowed to play in any of the teams, and the bloody goras in their clubhouses made fun of my turban and sent me off packing!

Joe: I'm sorry, Mr. Bhamra, but now it's...

Mr. Bhamra: Now what? Our boys aren't in the football leagues. You think they will let our girls? I don't want you to build up Jesminder's hopes. She will only end up disappointed, like me.

Jess: [[w:Nasser Hussein|Ṇạsser Ḥusseịṇ] It's all changing now. ] is captain of the English cricket team and he's Asian.

Mrs. Bhamra: Hussein is a Muslim name, their families are different.

Jess: Oh, Mum!

Teetu's father: We're not trying to cause trouble. We felt it our duty to tell you.

Mr. Bhamra: You know how hard it is for our children here. Sometimes they misjudge and start behaving like the kids here.

Teetu's mother: All I know is that children are a map of their parents.

Pinky: You stupid flippin cow!

Mrs. Bhamra: You've ruined your sister's life! Happy now?

Pinky: The wedding's off cause of you!

Jess: Me? Why?

Mrs. Bhamra: They saw you being filthy with an English boy!

Jess: I wasn't with any English boy!

Pinky: They saw you at a bus stop kissing him! Why couldn't you do it in secret like everyone else?

Jess: Kissing? Me? A boy?! You're all bloody mad!

Mr. Bhamra: Jesminder, don't you use those swearing words!

Jess: I was at the 120 bus stop today but with Juliet. My friend. She's a girl, and we weren't kissing or anything for God's sake!

Mr. Bhamra: [Points to painting on living room wall; [w:Guru Nanak|Babaji's name] Do you swear on ]?

Jess: I swear on Babaji's name.

Mrs. Bhamra: Sometimes these English girls have such short hair... You just can't tell.

Mr. Bhamra: They must have made a mistake.

Mrs. Bhamra: His parents are just making an excuse. We were never good enough for them.

Pinky: No, I bet she was with some dykey girl from her football team! She's still been playing you know! She ain't got no job! She's been lying!

Mrs. Bhamra: Why have I two deceiving daughters? What did I do wrong in my past life?

Pinky: But she's ruined my life!

Mrs. Bhamra: Don't think I didn't knew you were sneaking out with that good-for-nothing Teetu as well!

Jules: When are you going to tell your parents about your game?

Jess: I don't know.

Jules: You can't keep lying. You're too good.

Mrs. Paxton: Cooey!

Jules: Hide the shoes!

Mrs. Paxton: Sweetheart!

Jules: Up here, Mum.

Mrs. Paxton: Oh, it's hot out there! Oh! Got company! Hello, love.

Jules: Mum, this is Jess.

Mrs. Paxton: Jess? Is that Indian?

Jess: It's really Jesminder, but only my mum calls me that.

Mrs. Paxton: Oh, that's nice. Jesmin-dah. Lovely! Well, Jesmin-dah, I bet your room at home doesn't look like this! Great big butch women on the wall!

Jules: Thank you, Mum, I'm not old like you!

Mrs. Paxton: Jess, I hope you can teach my daughter a bit about your culture, including respect for elders and the like, eh? Cheeky madam! Well, Jess... I expect your parents are fixing you up with a handsome young doctor soon. Pretty girl like you...

Jules: Mum! Stop embarrassing yourself!

Mrs. Paxton: What? Just being friendly! You don't mind, do you, love? Of course not! Now, are you a friend from school or work?

Jules: She's a footballer. She's on the team with me.

Jess: Mum, I'm starving. I worked through my lunch hour today.

Mrs. Bhamra: Where's Pinky? She was supposed to pick you up so you wouldn't be late for Poli. Pinky, why didn't you pick your sister up from work, huh?

Pinky: I went but the manager said I'd just missed her.

Mrs. Bhamra: Okay, Poli's on her way. I'll make you girls some tea.

Pinky: Who is he, then?

Jess: Who?

Pinky: You must think I've got shit for brains, lying about a job and that!

Jess: Don't tell Mum and Dad. I kept Teet a secret for you.

Pinky: [[w:Islam in the United Kingdom|a Muslim] He's not ], is he?

Jess: Ssh! I've been playing football for a women's team.

Pinky: Huh? It's worse than I thought!

Jess: It's a tournament with real matches!

Pinky: What is wrong with you, Jess? At least lie for something good! Don't you want a boyfriend like everyone else? You're quite pretty you know. Do your hair, some make-up, you'd look all right.

Mrs. Bhamra: Leave her alone. I never wore make-up until after I was married. Jessie's a good girl now. She helped me wash all the net curtains and she made lovely aloo Gobi last week.

Jess: [[w:Truancy|bunked off school for those daytimers] Anything I want is just not Indian enough for em! I never ] like Pinky or Bubbly. I don't wear make-up or tight clothes. They don't see that!

Tony: Parents never see the good things.

Jess: [[w:Aloo gobhi|aloo Gobi; [w:Curl (association football)|can bend a ball] Anyone can cook ], but who ] like Beckham?

Tony: [Hands her a tissue] Just play and don't tell them. Pinky's been sneaking off for years to see Teets, NW they're getting married and nobody cares. What your parents don't know won't hurt.

Jess: Why should I have to lie? It's not like I'm sleeping around with anyone!

Jules: [''Ẇạlks up] Jess! Hello! I thought you'd be here.

Jess: This is Tony. This is Jules from the team.

Tony: Jess is well made up with your team.

Jules: We've got high hopes for her, especially me.

Jess: My mum doesn't want me to play any more.

Jules: That's bollocks! My mum's never wanted me to play. You can't take no for an answer. Yeah, but my sister's getting married so Mum and Dad are stressed out. I won't be able to get to training and matches.

Jules: [[W:HMV|HMV] Come on, Jess. You can't leave me alone out there. Joe has an American scout coming over. Don't worry about your mum. Just say you got a summer job. I could put in a good word for you at ] with me. So, now we've got that sorted, show me what your fella can do!

Jess: He's not my boyfriend!

Tony: [Pause, then clears throat and runs after Jules] I'm not her boyfriend!

Jules: Jess, come on! Are you playing?!

Mrs. Bhamra: Chi, chi, chi! He was touching you all over! Putting his hands on your bare legs! YOU'RE NOT A YOUNG GIRL ANYMORE! And showing the world your scar, ay yi yi...

Mr. Bhamra: Jessie, now that your sister's engaged... it's different. You know how people talk.

Jess: She's getting married, not me!

Mrs. Bhamra: [[w:Dhal|HOW TO COOK DHAL] I was married at your age! YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO LEARN ]!

Jess: Anyway I'm not playing with boys any more.

Mrs. Bhamra: Good! (unknown Indian language) End of matter!

Jess: I'm joining a girls team.

Mrs. Bhamra: Ah?!

Jess: They're proper matches. The coach said I could go far.

Mrs. Bhamra: Go far? Go far to where? Jessie, we let you play all you wanted when you were young, huh? You've played enough.

Jess: That's not fair! He selected me!

Mrs. Bhamra: He'?! She said it was girls!

Jess: The coach, Joe.

Mrs. Bhamra: See how she lies? I don't want you running around half naked in front of men, huh? Look how dark you've become, playing in the sun!

Jess: But I'm really good!

Mrs. Bhamra: [[w:Chapati|chapattis] Who will want a daughter-in-law who can kick a football all day but can't make round ]? Now exams are over, you'll learn full Punjabi dinner! Meat and vegetarian!

Jess: But, Dad...

Mrs. Bhamra: No! This is where you spoil her! This is how it started with your niece, the way that girl would answer back and she ran off to become a model wearing small, small skirts!

Jess: Mum, she's a fashion designer!

Mrs. Bhamra: She's divorced, that's what she is! Cast off after three years of being married to a white boy with blue hair! Her poor mother hasn't been able to set foot in that temple since. I don't want the shame on my family. That's it! No more football!

Mr. Bhamra: Jessie, your mother is right. It's not nice. You must start behaving like a proper woman. Okay?

Joe: Jess, what's going on?

Jess: [Pulls shorts over her burn scarred leg] It looks awful. It's why I can't wear shorts ever.

Joe: [Pulls up pant leg to reveal gnarled scar on knee] Jesus! That's a stunner! I thought I had a bad one on my knee, but yours is gorgeous! Look... Two operations later and it's still useless. Does yours affect your game? Look, don't worry about it. No one's gonna care once you're out there. What happened?

Jess: [[w:working overtime at Heathrow Airport|Heathrow; [w:Baked beans#Commercial production and international consumption|cook beans on toast] You don't want to know. Nah, it just looks awful. I was eight. My mum was ]. And I was trying to ]. And I jumped up to the grill to get the toast. And my trousers caught light so my sister put me in the bath, poured cold water over me and pulled them off. And half my skin came off too.

Joe: Sorry.

Jess: I know - it put me off beans on toast for life.

Joe: [Tries to stifle laughter] Come on. Mine stopped me from playing outright, yours doesn't. No more dawdling.

Jess: Sorry about your knee.

Joe: Yeah, yeah. I'm a right sob story, aren't I? Come on! I want to see some sweat on you!

Mrs. Paxton: [Çomes out oḟ house; [w:Fuchsia|fuchsias] Oh, will you both pack it in! Look at the state of my ]! Allen, when are you gonna realize you have a daughter with breasts, not a son?

Mr. Paxton: Paula!

Mrs. Paxton: No boy's gonna go out with a girl who's got bigger muscles than him!

Mr. Paxton: Leave her alone.

Jules: I'm not gonna give it up!

Mrs. Paxton: I saw Kevin on the high street with a blonde girl and it didn't look like they weren't talking about match of the bleedin day either!

Jules: Kevin can shag whoever he bloody wants!

Mrs. Paxton: [[w:Melanie C|Sporty Spice] Honey, all I'm saying is there is a reason why ] is the only one of them without a fella.

Mrs. Paxton: Sweetheart...

Mr. Paxton: Why don't you get off her flamin back? If she'd rather play football than chase boys, frankly I'm over the moon about that.

Jess: [Mr. Bhamra bursts into room] I nearly scored from 20 yards today. Bent it and everything. I could have played all night. It's not fair that boys never have to come home and help. If I had an arranged marriage, would he let me play football whenever I wanted to?

Mr. Bhamra: Who are you talking to?

Jess: [Mr. Bhamra sits on Jess' bed] No one, Dad.

Mr. Bhamra: Okay, Biji and her grandson are staying in here for the wedding. Why don't you put up nice picture of beautiful sceneries instead of this bald man?

Jess: Dad!

Mr. Bhamra: I'm going to change. Come and help me out, okay?

Jules: [''In a women's underwear retail store with her mother holding up a bra''] I'd never wear that!

Mrs. Paxton: [Holds up bra looking proud; Grabs Jules breasts who jumps highly violated] They're all the rage, poppet! You blow em up, just like a lilo. Look, this little pump comes free with it. Pop it in the valve, pump away, up it goes, then slip it back in there... and boom! Cleavage! They're perfect while you're still growing cause they lift you right there.

Jules: Mum! God, you're so embarrassing!

Mrs. Paxton: [Following Jules; Jules walks up to a rack] They make more of what you've got! All the girls have bought one for their daughters! The Fleur's pretty, and the gel bra's a clever one, no pumping, it's already in there. Not the sports bras! They're so plain! They don't enhance!

Jules: No one's going to see them!

Mrs. Paxton: It's not how they look, it's how they make you feel. I really like that lace lycra one.

Sportscaster: [[w:Old Trafford|Old Trafford] ..and there is Bhamra. It's a fine header, and she's scored! It's a goal by Jess Bhamra! A superb header, beating the defender,and planting the ball beyond the goalkeeper's left hand. Jess Bhamra makes a name for herself at ]!

Sportscaster: And have we discovered a new star here, Gary Lineker?

Gary: That's right. John?

John: Absolutely.. hehe.

Gary: Could Bhamra be the answer to England's prayers? Alan?

Alan: Quick thinking, comfortable on the ball, vision and awareness - magnificent. Tell you what, I wish she was playing for Scotland!

Gary: [[w:1966 FIFA World Cup|their World Cup glory from '66] John, have England found the player to relive ]?

John: Definitely, and the best thing is, she's not even reached her peak yet.

Anchor: We're joined now by Jess's mother. You must be proud of your daughter.

Mrs. Bhamra: [Mrs. Bhamra faces the camera; Scene changes to Jess' bedroom fixated on her television set oblivious to her mother at door; Grabs remote and turns off TV] Not at all! She shouldn't be showing her bare legs to 70,000 people! She's bringing shame on the family. And you three shouldn't be encouraging her! Jesminder, you get back home now! (untranslated Indian language) Jessminder? Are you listening to me? (untranslated Indian language) Jessminder?! Have you gone mad?! Football, shootball! Your sister's getting engaged, and you're sitting here watching this skinhead boy!

Jess: Mum, it's Beckham's corner!

Mrs. Bhamra: Eh, come downstairs, and your sister's going crazy.

Pinky: I've got to go! Mum, where are my keys?

Jess: I'm sick of this wedding and it hasn't even started!

Pinky: That girl is a first-class bitch!

Mrs. Bhamra: Pinky, you've got so many others!

Pinky: [To Jess wạlkịṇg dowṇ stạịrs] It was all planned now I gotta get another one! Will you get a flaming move on!

Jess: What the bloody hell's going on?

Pinky: Get this yeah? Teet's bloody sister says she's wearing baby pink now. Stupid flipping cow! I had matching accessories and everything!

Jess: Oh, Mum, do I have to go shopping again?

Mrs. Bhamra: [[w:Coriander|dhania; [w:South Asian pickle|achar] Ah! My mother chose all my 21 dowry suits herself. I never once complained. You girls are too spoilt! And don't forget my ]. And more carrots. I'm making ].

Both Jess and Pinky simultaneously: Oh, Mum, don't do pickle as well!

Mrs. Bhamra: Oh, am I asking you to make it?!