Beverly Hills Cop Quotes

Inspector Todd You mind telling me where the fuck you come off going undercover without authorization from me? What the fuck's this all about? You wanna play some fucking bullshit cowboy cop? Go do it in somebody else's precinct!

Axel Foley Don't you wanna hear my side of the story?

Inspector Todd What's your fucking side of the story?

Axel Foley Let's hear your side of the story.

Inspector Todd Hey Axel, I'm not takin anymore of this shit from you. You know how much this little stunt of yours is gonna cost this city?

Axel Foley I don't think cost is the issue here, sir. I think the issue should be my blatant disregard for proper procedure.

Inspector Todd You damn right, wise ass! The mayor called the Chief, the Chief called the Deputy Chief and the Deputy Chief just chewed my ass out! You see I don't have any bit of it left, don't you? Where the fuck did you get a truckload of cigarettes from anyway?

Axel Foley From the Dearborn Hijacking.

Inspector Todd From the Dearborn Hijacking? That fucking bust went down last week! That truck's supposed to be in the damn pound!

Jeffery I tried to tell you.

Inspector Todd Jeffery, this is none of your fucking business!

Jeffery This is not my locker!

Inspector Todd Listen Axel, no more of these set ups, you understand? You're a good cop, and you got great potential, but you don't know every fucking thing. And I'm tired of taking the heat for your ass. One more time and you're out on the street. Do you understand me?

Axel Foley Look, Boss, let me tell...

Inspector Todd Do you understand me?!

Axel Foley Yeah, I understand. Boss. The Chief ain't chew it all out. You still got a little ass there.

Inspector Todd Don't fuck with me, Axel! Not now! Go on. Go home.

Taggart Why didn't you identify yourself as a police officer when you were arrested?

Axel Because I was minding my own business. Where the fuck do you guys get off on arresting somebody for getting thrown out of a window?

Taggart We have six witnesses that say you broke in and started tearing up the place, then jumped out the window!

Axel And do you guys believe that? What the fuck are you, cops or doormen?

Taggart We're more likely to believe an important local businessman than a foul-mouthed jerk from out of town.

Axel Foul-mouthed?

Axel Fuck you, man.

Rosewood Hey, Sarge...

Taggart You watch your mouth.

Axel Hey, man. Don't square off on me with some bullshit. You want to start some static?

Taggart Hey, don't push me!

Axel Fuck you, man!

Bogomil Taggart!

Taggart Yes, sir.

Bogomil Come here.

Taggart I apologize for striking you. I have no excuse.

Axel Forget about it.

Axel Foley What? Y'all the second team?

Detective McCabe We're the first team.

Detective Foster Yeah, and we're not gonna fall for a banana in the tailpipe.

Axel Foley You're not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe? It should be more natural, brother. It should flow out, like this - "Look, man, I ain't fallin for no banana in my tailpipe!" See, that's more natural for us. You been hanging out with this dude too long.

Axel Foley Look, I heard a rumor that you're gonna use Rand on this case, and between the 2 of us, the guy doesn't know the time of day.

Inspector Todd Don't mess with me now, Axel.

Axel It's the first time he's left his desk in 12 years.

Todd At least he's HAD 12 years! Anyway, it's a Homicide case and it belongs to Rand. Now, go to the hospital!

Axel Well, you don't mind if I ask around a little bit, do you?

Todd Don't do a DAMN thing; it's Rand's case. Yo ass is SKATING on thin ice as it is!

Axel Hey, look, we're talkin about a FRIEND OF MINE HERE!

Todd Yes, we are, aren't we? Now, let's take a close look at that: 1, a hoodlum friend. 2, a professional hit. 3, in a cop's apartment. This whole thing stinks to high Heaven.

Axel How you know it was a professional hit?

Todd I didn't just walk into this town from the cotton fields! Whoever killed your friend wasn't worried about yo little narrow ass; if they were, you'd be lyin beside him in that meat wagon! Just don't do a damn thing. Stay outta this!

Axel Well, look, I got some vacation time comin to me; I wanna take my vacation now.

Todd ... Stay away from this case, Axel.

Axel No, it's just that I feel I need a little vacation, that's all.

Todd Alright... as soon as you're finished at the hospital, you're on vacation.

Axel Thank you.

Todd But if you decide to butt into this case... it'll be the LONGEST vacation you ever heard of.

Serge I see you look at this piece.

Axel Foley Yeah. I was wondering how much something like this went for.

Serge 130,000 dollar.

Axel Foley Get the fuck out of here!

Serge No, I cannot! It's serious! Because it's very important piece.

Axel Foley Have you ever sold one of these?

Serge Sell it yesterday to a collector.

Axel Foley Get the fuck out of here!

Serge No! I'm serious! I sell it myself!

Axel Foley Tell Victor that Ramon - -the fella he met about a week ago? - -tell him that Ramon went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10, and I think Victor should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man.

Axel Foley Billy, you know, you don't have to be embarrassed if your dick gets hard. Your dick is supposed to get hard. See? That's the whole object of this. Taggart's dick is hard, but he won't let you know cause he's the boss. Boss dick got to stay limp, right? See, I ain't on duty so my dick can be hard.

Axel Foley This is the cleanest and nicest police car I've ever been in in my life. This thing's nicer than my apartment.

Taglines The Heat Is On!

Taglines He's been chased, thrown through a window, and arrested. Eddie Murphy is a Detroit cop on vacation in Beverly Hills.

Axel Foley Can you put this in a good spot for me? Cause all this shit happened last time I parked here.

Axel Foley Don't you think I realize what's going on here, miss? Who do you think I am, huh? Don't you think I know that if I was some hotshot from out of town that pulled inside here and you guys made a reservation mistake, I'd be the first one to get a room and I'd be upstairs relaxing right now. But I'm not some hotshot from out of town, I'm a small reporter from "Rolling Stone" magazine that's in town to do an exclusive interview with Michael Jackson that's gonna be picked up by every major magazine in the country. I was gonna call the article "Michael Jackson Is Sitting On Top of the World," but now I think I might as well just call it "Michael Jackson Can Sit On Top of the World Just As Long As He Doesn't Sit in the Beverly Palm Hotel CAUSE THERE'S NO NIGGERS ALLOWED IN THERE!

Detective Rosewood Police! You're all under arrest!

Sergeant Taggart You do that again, I'll shoot you myself!