Memories of Comfort During a Storm
Sherry: [jumping into bed beside "Big Momma" during the storm]
I remember how it used to storm like this when I was a little girl. You would wrap your arms around me, and it felt like nothing in the world could ever hurt me.
Malcolm Turner: [wrapping his arms around Sherry]
It feels so damn good.
Sherry: [feeling a jab in her back from Malcolm's "arousal"]
Big Momma, what's that?
Malcolm Turner: [pulls out a flashlight]
That's just my flashlight. The storm knocked out all the power so I had to get a big ol flashlight.
Sherry: [interrupting the conversation they were having when she feels another jab in the back]
Big Momma, is there another flashlight under there?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Infidelity and Unexpected Discoveries in Marriage
John:
I used to be married, but not anymore.
Sadie: [sympathetically; [Jesus]
Is your wife with ] now?
John:
Actually, the guy's name was pronounced "Hey-soos". He was the gardner, and one day I caught him spreading some fertilizer around the bedroom, if you know what I mean.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Playful Exchange on Basketball Skills
Basketball Teen #1:
Oh, so Granny think she got game?
Malcolm Turner: [as Big Momma]
Oh yes, I got game. And I got two words for you: I'm back.
Basketball Teen #2:
You too fat to be ballin'!
Malcolm Turner: [as Big Momma]
Say what? You look like a damn shaved bird!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confidence and Humor in Unexpected Situations
Nolan:
Now lets say you walking down the street, strutting yo stuff, and someby yells out and screams "Hey, baby! Why don't you back that thing up and show me whatcha got and whatcha gon do?
Big Momma:
I'd say I'm a size 10, and I'm about to cram it up his boney ass!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unfulfilled Expectations and Stark Realities
Ben:
I've been waiting on this moment ever since I first laid eyes on you.
Malcolm Turner:
Ben, whatever you started in that bed, trust me, you're going to finish alone!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Over Unexpected Bedmates
Big Momma:
You two? In my bed? Oh, hell no!
Ben:
Hattie Mae, I can explain.
Big Momma:
Explain it to the fattier end of my baseball bat.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Reunion with Big Momma
Sherry:
Oh, it's so good to see you, Big Momma. I thought you may forgotten all about me.
Malcolm Turner:
Shut your mouth, child. Oh, Big Momma could never forget that ass...
Sherry:
What?
Malcolm Turner:
...ma. Asthma. Do you remember you had asthma?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Reflection on Unexpected Situations
Malcolm Turner:
I've seen a lot of scary shit in my days... but damn, that was a lot of ass!
John: [while icing his balls]
I think I need a splint or something.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Surprise Reaction to Unexpected Situation
YO MOMMA HOUSE: [upon seeing Sherry in her underwear]
Oooo ma damn!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Intentions and Actions
John Maxwell: [on the phone; faces Malcolm immediately afterwards]
Yeah, he knows what he's doing. What the hell are you doing?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Marital Commitment and Unexpected Attention
John Maxwell:
I'm a married man, I'm not used to this much attention.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Preference for Morphine Over Aspirin
John Maxwell:
Is that morphine in there? God, beats the hell out of aspirin.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Big Momma's House: A Strong Warning
Big Momma:
Oh no! Not in Big Momma's house!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Unusual Situations with Humor
Big Momma:
Somebody better tell me something, cause this sho is some freaky shit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
