Humorous Remark on Pressed Hams
Taglines:
Whoa dude! Pressed hams!
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A Journey of Unexpected Adventures
Taglines:
It's a trip.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebrating Life with Bill and Ted
Taglines:
Bill & Ted party on!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
From Making History to Being History
Taglines:
Once... they made history. Now... they are history.
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The Best Place to Be is Here
Bill:
Ladies and gentleman, we've been to the past, we've been to the future.
Ted:
We've been all around the afterlife.
Bill:
And you know?
Ted:
The best place to be is here...
Bill:
...And the best time to be is now, and all's we can say is...
Bill and Ted:
...LET'S ROCK!
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Embracing Mortality in Show Business
Death: [rapping; smiles]
You may be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later, you dance with the Reaper! I love show business.
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A Game of Clue with Death
Ted:
What's he doing?
Bill:
I don't know.
Death:
I believe Colonel Mustard did it in the study with a candlestick.
Bill]: [opens case envelope and shows card; shows card]
Sorry, Death. You lose. It was Professor Plum.
Death:
I said "Plum.
Ted: [stands in protest]
No way. You said "Mustard"! Can we go back now?
Death:
Best 3 out of 5.
Ted: [angry]
I don't believe this guy!
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Unveiling Gifts Among Friends
Ted:
Your probably noticed we haven't given you our gifts yet.
Bill:
That's because...
Ted:
Um...
Bill:
Um...
Bill and Ted: [take their girlfriends to opposite sides of the pool]
scuse us, dude.
Bill: [takes out a folded piece of paper from his pocket]
I wrote this myself.
Ted: [also takes out a folded piece of paper from his pocket; begins to read]
I wrote this last night. Elizabeth.
Bill: [also begins to read; the two talk simultaneously]
Joanna. As I wander through this dark and lonely forest of life, surrounded by various beasts...Bears, vipers, squirrels. Not to mention small tree growing lichen, woodpeckers, slugs, gila monsters. Oh no, that's the desert.
Ted:
As I swim through this dark and fearful sea of existence, surrounded by various creatures...Sharks, eels, yellowtail, and also barnacles, and algae, man-o-wars, starfish, blowfish, catfish. Uh oooh, that's fresh water.
Bill:
The point is I know we promised you a better life.
Ted:
What mean is we told you the future had some really good stuff.
Bill:
But all that stuff hasn't happened.
Bill and Ted:
But it will, I hope.
Ted:
The day after tomorrow, if things work out...
Bill:
What I mean is....
Ted:
Will you...?
Bill:
...Marry us?
Elizabeth:
Theodore...
Joanna:
I'd love to.
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Importance of Headphones While Doing Homework
Rufus: [to the future student; gets interrupted by the arrival of De Nomolos]
And most importantly; do not do your homework without your headphones on. Repeat-
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Non-Heinous Evaluation of the Situation
Bill: [Describing their experience in Hell]
That was non, non non, NON-heinous!
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Disappointment in Expectations of Album Covers
Ted: [first glimpse of Hell]
This is not like I expected at all! We got totally lied to by our album covers.
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Ted's Unusual Experience with His Father
Ted: [using his ghost powers on his father]
I totally possessed my dad!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
