Blades of Glory (2007) - Quotes

Confrontation with the Evil Wizard

Skate Woodland Fairies: Oh, no! It's the evil wizard!

Chazz: [drunkenly] Hey, little forest creatures. None of you sons-of-bitches try to be heroes. You hear me?

Gary the Squirrel: Hey, Chazz. Come on.

Chazz: Wow!

Gary the Squirrel: It's Gary. What are you doing?

Chazz: [retches inside his costume; gags, begining to vomit; He retches again] Hey, everyone! This is Gary, the squirrel. Now listen up. Gary's been a long-time friend. We've been skating for two and a half years. I remember when we were hanging out at the bus stop in Tucson, and Gary said, "I've got a third ball"-- Damn it. I just threw up in here, people. That's the reality. Another layer to the legend. I am nothing but a human onion. In fact, we all are-- " Oh, encore.

Grublets on Ice Manager: Ladies and gentlemen, Grublets on Ice will be cancelled until further notice. No refunds will be given.

Chazz: Oh Bring it on! Let it rain down on me.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Conflict Over Gold Medal and Team Dynamics

Darren MacElroy: You're fired.

Coach: What?! I brought you the gold medal.

Darren MacElroy: No, you brought me half a gold medal. If I wanted him to share I would have bought him a brother.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Hector's Challenge with a Ukrainian Skater

Hector: I almost gave up on you Jimmy. I started working on that Ukrainian skater, you know the one that looks like Elvis. So i moved to the Ukraine and it was cold, and everybody had guns, and it smelled like soup.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Unexpected Encouragement in a Competitive Moment

Coach: Jimmy, you put your clothes on! Jimmy! Damn it!

Jimmy: Watch my icy, hot superslide.

Chazz: Do it.

Jimmy: I will.

Chazz: It's not going to matter because you're flat in front like Ken!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Misunderstandings and Accusations Among Friends

Jimmy: Y-y-y-you sex demon! You sex fiend!

Chazz: This isn't what it looks like.

Jimmy: Impure! Impure!

Katie Van Waldenberg: Jimmy, wait!

Chazz: Brother man!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Unexpected Solutions in a Tough Situation

Chazz: I can't do the Lotus with a shattered ankle. I'm just a man for God's sake.

Jimmy: We'll switch places.

Chazz: I swear to God, if you cut my head off...

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Debate Over Hand Positioning in Skating

Chazz: You know what, dude. Your hand has to be on top.

Jimmy: No way. The girl's goes on top.

Chazz: Yeah, ergo. Chick.

Jimmy: I'm not the girl, I'm stronger.

Chazz: No, I'm stronger and don't have a vagina.

Jimmy: You are not stronger. Watch this, fat ass.

Chazz: Fat ass?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Playful Challenge Between Competitors

Chazz: This guy could not hold my jock sweat.

Jimmy: I could hold it all day long. Try me!

Chazz: Maybe I will.

Jimmy: Maybe you should.

Chazz: You challenging me, princess?

Jimmy: I'm not inviting you to the Skating Federation's Annual Christmas Party!

Chazz: Then bring it on!

Jimmy: It is on!

Coach: Good. We're in an agreement, then.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Ice Rink Conditions and Team Facilities

Jimmy: This ice has not been properly zambonied. And where's the warm-down room?

Coach: We don't have any of that. What we got is a cold storage unit that a buddy of mine let me flood with a garden hose.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Unexpected Praise Amidst Unpleasant Remarks

Grublets on Ice Manager: Hey, Michaels, let's go. Lace up. The fog machines are primed. Second show's almost three-quarters full. you drunk?

Chazz: [Breaks the top off of the bottle of liquor he's holding] No. But this oughta do it.

Grublets on Ice Manager: I would fire you if you weren't so goddamn beautiful out there. You smell like urine.

Chazz: A lot?

Grublets on Ice Manager: Get your head on.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Embracing Friendship Amidst Humor and Chaos

Chazz: That's you. The wolf, that runs with the lone wolf. So the lone wolf never has to be alone again.

Jimmy: You were drunk when you got it, weren't you?

Chazz: Yes, absolutely hammered. Welcome to the pack.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Claiming Dominance in Chazz's World

Jimmy: I call top!

Chazz: No, I already called it in my head.

Jimmy: What?! No, you can't do that, that doesn't count.

Chazz: Yes it does. Get used to it, Jimmy; you're in Chazz's world now.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Playful Exchange of Insults

Jimmy: Michaels.

Chazz: MacElroy.

Jimmy: I see you got fat.

Chazz: I see you still look like a 15-year-old girl but not hot.

Jimmy: You crushed my dreams.

Chazz: Dreams? Shit. I haven't had one of those in years.

Jimmy: Zip it, Chazz! Zip it or I will punch you in your crap, lousy face!

Chazz: Hey, This ends tonight!

Jimmy: It's daytime, you douche!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Understanding the Birds and the Bees

Jimmy: That was disgusting.

Chazz: That, young man, is how babies are made.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Disowning and Un-Adopting Explained

Darren MacElroy: I'm un-adopting you.

Jimmy: What?

Darren MacElroy: I don't think "un-adopting" is the right word for it. Well, legally I'm disowning you.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Reflecting on Lost Family Connections

Fairchild Van Waldenberg: What's that, mother? You and father are sad that you were killed, driving Katie to her ice-skating lesson all those years ago? Yeah, me too.

Stranz Van Waldenberg: Remember how they used to be alive?

Unpleasant Smells and Close Quarters

Jimmy: Ugh, I'm getting sick. You smell like aftershave and taco meat.

Chazz: Yes, I do. Now scoot over.

Confrontation Between Jimmy and Chazz

Jimmy: Get out of my face!

Chazz: I'll get inside your face!

A Disagreement About Carpet and Baby Food

Chazz: Why would we step in baby food?

Jimmy: He's talking about the carpet. Berber?

Chazz: What are you? The rug doctor?

Jimmy: Maybe I am.

Chazz: I'm the rug master.

Jimmy: What does that even mean?

Coach: Shut up and take off your damn shoes.

The Concept of Mind-Bottling Explained

Chazz: Mind-bottling, isn't it?

Jimmy: Did you just say "mind-bottling"?

Chazz: Yeah. You know when things are so crazy, you get your thoughts trapped, like in a bottle.

Roommates and Nighttime Fears

Chazz: Bunk beds?

Jimmy: I don't share rooms.

Chazz: I don't share shit. The night is a very dark time for me.

Jimmy: It's dark for everyone, moron.

Chazz: Not for Alaskans or dudes wearing night-vision goggles.

Coach: All right, this has got to stop right now. From here on out, you guys are a team. You understand? You are going to eat together, sleep together. You are going to pee together. You're going to file a joint income tax return. Practice starts now. End of discussion.

Choosing the Right Music for Skating Routine

Jimmy: So, Coach. I was thinking about the music for our routine.

Coach: Really?

Chazz: [[w:My Humps|Lady Hump] We're gonna skate to one song, and one song only: "]" by the Black Eyed Peas. What you gonna do with all that junk? / All that junk inside your trunk? / I'm gonna get you, get you drunk / Get you drunk off my lady humps / My humps, my humps / My lovely lady humps.

Jimmy: [disgusted] I don't even know what that means.

Chazz: No one knows what it means, but it's provocative.

Jimmy: No, it's not. It's gross.

Chazz: It gets the people going.