Boiler Room Quotes

Broker I know you're not standing on your front porch with a bag of money waiting for me to call you. But I'm not some 18-year-old selling a cure for AIDS. I'm 46 years old, I have 22 years market experience, I know this business. So pick up your skirt, grab your balls, and lets go make some money

Seth Davis I was making good money with the casino but these guys were "macking" it hard. That's the level I wanted to be operating on, so I drove out to Long Island. The office was a good hour from Wall Street. Somebody forgot to tell the guys who worked there, though. They looked and acted like they took the sixth train to Fulton Street every morning, but it wasn't Wall Street, it was exit fifty-three on the Long Island Expressway, a good hour from the New York Stock Exchange. "Group interview my ass", it was like a Hitler youth rally in retrospect. The guy who pitched us, Jim Young, was the head recruiter there. Between him and Michael, honestly, they can sell bubblegum at the lockjaw ward at Bellevue.

Judge Marty Davis I'm not your best friend. That's your mother's racket. I'm your father. I tell you when you screw up. What did you think I was gonna do? Pat you on the back for this casino idea? Tell you what a great entrepreneur you are? So what do you want me to do, Seth? I mean, my God, if I would have called my father to meet me for a cup of coffee to talk about my screw-ups, he probably would have laughed. We didn't have nice little chats about why I was a bad boy. I got smacked. And I didn't do it again. Much simpler.

Seth Davis Look, you know, I'm just trying to restore what's left of our relationship. I mean...

Judge Marty Davis Relationship? What the fuck are you talking about, relationship? What, are we dating? I'm not your girlfriend, Seth. I'm your father. Clean up you life, make an honest living, and then you and I can talk like normal people, all right?

Seth Davis I read this article a while back that said that Microsoft employs more millionaire secretaries than any other company in the world. They took stock options over Christmas bonuses. It was a good move. I remember there was this photograph of one of the groundskeepers next to his Ferrrari. Blew my mind. You see shit like that, and it just plants seeds, makes you think it's possible, even easy. And then you turn on the TV, and there's just more of it. The 87 million dollar lottery winner. That kid actor that just made $20 million on his last movie. That internet stock that shot through the roof. You could have made millions on it if you'd just got in early. And that's exactly what I wanted to do: get in. I didn't want to be an innovator. I just wanted to make the quick and easy buck. I just wanted in. ] said it best: Either you're slinging crack rock, or you got a wicked jump shot. Nobody wants to work for it anymore. There's no honor in taking the after school job at Mickey D's. Honor's in the dollar, kid. So I went the white boy way of slinging crack rock: I became a stock broker.

Seth Davis I had a very strong work ethic. The problem was my ethics in work.

Jim Young There's an important phrase that we use here, and think it's time that you all learned it. Act as if. You understand what that means? Act as if you are the fucking President of this firm. Act as if you got a 9" cock. Okay? Act as if.

Taglines Where would you turn? How far would you go? How hard will you fall?

Seth Davis I ran casino. I've got to figure what I'm going to do next because I'm not a lottery winner. I tried "slinging crack rock" and I never had a jump shot, I've got to find a job.

Jim Young Okay, here's the deal. I'm not here to waste your time. Okay? And I certainly hope you're not here to waste mine. So I'm gonna keep this short. If you become an employee of this firm, you will make your first million within three years. Okay? I'm gonna repeat that. You will make a million dollars within three years of your first day of employment at J.T. Marlin. There is no question as to whether or not you'll become a millionaire working here. The only question is how many times over. You think I'm joking? I am not joking. I am a millionaire. It's a weird thing to hear, right? I'll tell ya. It's a weird thing to say. I am a fucking millionaire. And guess how old I am. Twenty-seven. You know what that makes me here? A fuckin senior citizen. This firm is entirely comprised of people your age, not mine. Lucky for me, I happen to be very fucking good at my job, or I'd be out of one. You guys are the new blood. You're gonna go home with the kessef. You are the future big swinging dicks of this firm. Now, you all look money hungry, and that's good. Anybody tells you money is the root of all evil doesn't fuckin have any. They say money can't buy happiness? Look at the fuckin smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby. You want details? Fine. I drive a Ferrari 355 Cabriolet. What's up? I have a ridiculous house in the South Fork. I have every toy you could possibly imagine. And best of all, kids, I am liquid. So, now that you know what's possible. Let me tell you what's required. You are required to work your fucking ass off at this firm. We want winners here, not pikers. A piker walks at the bell. A piker asks how much vacation time you get in the first year. Vacation time? People come and work at this firm for one reason: to become filthy rich. That's it. We're not here to make friends. We're not savin the fuckin manatees here, guys. You want vacation time? Go teach third grade, public school. The first three months at the firm are as a trainee. You make $150 a week. After you're done training, you take the Series Seven. You pass that, you become a junior broker and you're opening accounts for your team leader. You open 40 accounts, you start workin for yourself. Sky's the limit. Word or two about being a trainee. Friends, parents, other brokers, whoever, they're gonna give you shit about it. It's true. $150 a week? Not a lot of money. Pay them no mind. You need to learn this business, and this is the time to do it. Once you pass the test, none of that's gonna matter. Your friends are shit. You tell them you made 25 grand last month, they're not gonna fuckin believe you. Fuck them! Fuck em! Parents don't like the life you lead? Fuck you, Mom and Dad. See how it feels when you're makin their fuckin Lexus payments. Now, go home and think about it. Think about whether or not this is really for you. If you decide it isn't, listen, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's not for everyone. Thanks. But if you really want this, you call me on Monday and we'll talk. Just don't waste my fuckin time. Okay, that's it.

Taglines Motion creates Emotion!

Chris Varick You know how hard I worked to get where I am?

Seth Davis You need to forget about that; it doesn't mean shit. Right now, this moment is what you should be thinking about. What are you going to do in the next fifteen minutes. They're gonna make sure we never trade another share of stock for the rest of our lives. But we can do something.

Chris Varick What's that?

Seth Davis Harry, my client. I need a senior broker to sign a sell ticket so he can take his shares and dump them on the open market and make his money back. What's the difference? Do one thing right here. Just sign it.

Taglines Anyone who says that money is the root to all evil, doesn't have it.

Jim Young Goddammit, you fuckin guys. I'm gonna keep this short, okay? You passed your sevens over a month ago. Seth's the only one that's opened the necessary forty accounts for his team leader. When I was a junior broker I did it in 26 days. Okay? You're not sendin out press packets anymore. None of this Debbie the Time Life operator bullshit. So get on the phones, it's time to get to work. Get off your ass! Move around. Motion creates emotion. I remember one time I had this guy call me up, wanted to pitch me, right? Wanted to sell me stock. So I let him. I got every fuckin rebuttal outta this guy, kept him on the phone for an hour and a half. Towards the end I started askin him buying questions, like what's the firm minimum? That's a buying question, right there. That guy's gotta take me down. It's not like I asked him, what's your 800 number? That's a fuckoff question. I was givin him a run and he blew it. Okay? To a question like what is the firm minimum, the answer is zero. You don't like the idea, don't pick up a single share. But this putz is tellin me you know, uhh, 100 shares? Wrong answer! No! You have to be closing all the time. And be aggressive, learn how to push! Talk to em. Ask em questions... ask em rhetorical questions, it doesn't matter, anything, just get a yes out of em. If you're drowning and I throw you a life jacket would you grab it? Yes! Good. Pick up 200 shares I won't let you down. Ask them how they'd like to see thirty, forty percent returns. What are they gonna say, no? Fuck you? I don't wanna see those returns. Stop laughing, it's not funny. If you can't learn how to close, you better start thinkin about another career. And I am deadly serious about that. Dead fuckin serious. And have your rebuttals ready, guy says call me tomorrow? Bullshit! Somebody tells you th-they got money problems about buyin 200 shares is lying to you. You know what I say to that? I say, hey look, man, tell me you don't like my firm, tell me you don't like my idea, tell me you don't like my fuckin neck tie, but don't tell me you can't put together 2,500 bucks. And there is no such thing as a no-sell call. A sell is made on every call you make. Either you sell the client some stock, or he sells you on a reason he can't. Either way, a sell is made. The only question is: who's gonna close? You or him?! Now be relentless. That's it, I'm done.

Chris Varick What's this about? You ok?

Seth Davis I need you to sign a sell ticket for a client of mine.

Chris Varick Fuck Greg, let's go deal with it and talk to Michael.

Seth Davis Wait a minute Chris, I got arrested last night.

Chris Varick What?

Seth Davis The FBI arrested me.

Chris Varick The FBI? Why the fuck would the FBI arrest you?

Seth Davis Because of my involvement in this firm.

Chris Varick Your involvement in the firm? What the fuck does that mean?

Seth Davis Come on Chris you know what that means.

Chris Varick No, I don't know what that means, what the fuck did you tell them?

Seth Davis They knew everything, man. They had photographs and tape recorded conversations. They brought my father in. There was nothing I could do.

Chris Varick What did you do?

Seth Davis Chris, the FBI is going to raid this place in twenty minutes!

Chris Varick What the fuck are you talking about? Fuck Seth!

Seth Davis Come on man, I asked you for months about shit going on here and you told me to shut the fuck up and get ready to be a millionaire.

Chris Varick That's right "shut the fuck up", didn't you learn anything?

Seth Davis I learned how to fuck people out their money. My client, Harry Reynard, just lost his life savings. And he wasn't a whale, he was just a poor schmuck and I took him. I did everything J.T Marlin taught me to do and I made up his mind for him.

Chris Varick What do you want me to tell you? That's what we do here.

Seth Davis We lie, we're liars.

Chris Varick Who they coming for?

Seth Davis They're coming for everybody, everything.

Seth Davis No, no deal, you take my father out the back door and you bring him home, he has nothing to do with this case I swear to God, if his name ends up in one newspaper I do not testify and I mean that, for me it'd be worth going to jail for

FBI Agent David Drew Are you serious?

Seth Davis What'd you think?

FBI Agent David Drew Alright, before we get ahead of ourselves, what are you offering?

Seth Davis I'm going to hand you this case on a silver fucking platter, I know everything you don't, I know how it all works, I know how Michael makes his money, I know how he hides it, I know who he goes in with, I even know where he moves if you guys get too close, I know everything

Taglines Welcome to the New American Dream.

Seth Davis * From the opening monologue.

Michael Brantley I just want you to know that those pikers down as NASD are finally off our ass. Bear Stearns can make all the calls they want to the SEC, but they still can't find any dirt on us! J.T. Marlin, once again, has unlimited trading authorization. I told you guys, you can't keep a good man down! We're superstars now. J.P. Morgan just faxed over their congratulations...it said, Welcome to the club!'...And just to show you how appreciative I am, there's a little something extra. I want you guys to go up to suite 418...I hand-picked them myself.

Greg Weinstein Now there's two rules you have to remember as a trainee, number one, we don't pitch the bitch here.

Seth Davis What?

Greg Weinstein We don't sell stock to women. I don't care who it is, we don't do it. Nancy Sinatra calls, you tell her you're sorry. They're a constant pain in the ass and you're never going to hear the end of it alright? They're going to call you every fucking day wanting to know why the stock is dropping and God forbid the stock should go up, you're going to hear from them every fucking 15 minutes. It's just not worth it, don't pitch the bitch.

Jim Young I'm sorry, man, this is my seat.

Interviewee #1 Oh, shit, I-I'm so sorry!

Jim Young It's okay, don't worry about it.

Interviewee #2 Fuckin dumbass.

Jim Young Get the fuck outta here.

Interviewee #2 W-what?

Jim Young Don't talk to me, don't look at me, just pick your ass out of that Italian leather chair, and get the fuck outta this room, right now! Come on, let's go, schlep rock! Out! Sit down. We expect everyone here to treat their co-workers with a certain level of respect. Okay, before we get started, I have one question. Does anyone here pass their Series Seven exam?

Interviewee #3 I have a Series Seven license.

Jim Young Good for you, you can get out too.

Interviewee #3 What, why?

Jim Young We don't hire brokers here, we train new ones.

Seth Davis Hello?

Ron from the Daily News Hi, Mr. Dahvis, this is Ron from the Daily News. How you doin this morning?

Seth Davis It's Davis, and I'm not interested.

Ron Okay, I'm sorry to have bothered you. Have a nice day.

Seth Davis Wait a minute. Wait, that's your pitch? You consider that a sales call?

Ron Well, um...

Seth Davis You know, I get a call from you guys every Saturday and it's always the same half-assed attempt. If you guys wanna close me, you should sell me.

Ron All right.

Seth Davis All right. Start again.

Ron Okay. Hi, this is Ron from the Daily News. How you doin this morning?

Seth Davis Shitty. What do you want?

Ron It's not what I want, sir. It's what you want.

Seth Davis Ron, now we're talkin'. All right. What are you selling me?

Ron I'm offering you a subscription to the Daily News at a substantially reduced price. We're trying to reach out to people that have never had home delivery before.

Seth Davis Right, so, basically, everybody who already has a subscription is getting fucked on this one?

Ron Yeah, I guess so.

Seth Davis All right, well, I can handle that. So, tell me, why should I buy your paper? I mean, you know, why... Why shouldn't I get the Times or the Voice, you know?

Ron Well, the Village Voice is free, sir, so if you want it, you should certainly pick it up. But the Daily News offers you something no other paper can: a real taste of New York. We have the best features, more photographs than any other daily in New York and we have the most reliable delivery in the city. Now what do you think?

Seth Davis You know what I think, Ron? I think that was a sales call. Good job, buddy.

Ron So you gonna buy a subscription?

Seth Davis No, I already get the Times.

Taglines There's no such thing as making too much money or taking too many risks.

Judge Marty Davis I spoke to Howard Goldberg over at Prudential, you lied again you unbelievable piece of shit, you lied to all of us, tell me about J.T. Marlin, it's a chop shop Seth, you've selling their shit all this time, how many people have you fucked over? All that bullshit about how their business works? "The great training program", remember? "All the profits you made for your customers", did you do anything for them? Did you make them any money at all? I'm done with you Seth, this it, I've had it with you, I don't ever want to see you again, I don't want you to come by the house, I don't you to call, this is worse than the casino, you've been stealing, you're destroying people's lives.

Greg Weinstein Now, now, listen to me. Even though you're not actually selling stock yet, I want you to remember the quota we have here, okay? Did you see ]?

Seth Davis Yeah.

Greg Weinstein Okay, do you remember ABC'?

Seth Davis Yeah. Always be closing.

Greg Weinstein That's right. Always be closing. Telling's not selling. That's the attitude you wanna have, okay.

Seth Davis I'm plagued by "what ifs?" these days. What if Greg hadn't come over that night, what if I hadn't forgot my bag? Or seen Michael walk into the other building that day? What if I had skipped over Harry's card? What are the chances? What are the odds?

Seth Davis I originally I got in for the cash but getting my dad's respect is what kept me there, I had to adapt to this new world, I didn't know any of these guys but what I did know is that they had all the money in the world and not a clue what to do with it.

Seth Davis Looking back the casino was the most legitimate business I had running, I looked my customers in the eye and I provided a service they wanted, now I don't even look my customers in the eye and I push them something they never asked for.