Bubba Ho-tep poster

Bubba Ho-tep Quotes

"The King vs. The King of the Dead."

R 2002 · 1h 32m
65
Audience
65
Audience
19 quotes
Concealing Identity Through Deception
JFK That's where they took a piece of my brain. They got it back in D.C. in that God damn jar. I got a little bag of sand up there now.
[pause]
Elvis But Jack uhh, no offense but... President Kennedy was a white man.
[pause]
JFK That's how clever they are. They dyed me this color, all over. Can you think of a better way to hide the truth than that?
The Burden of Fame and Identity
Callie But why would you want to leave all that fame, Mr. Presley? All that money?
Elvis I don't know. Cause they got old. The woman I loved, Priscilla, she was gone. The rest of the women... were just women. I mean, the music wasn't even mine anymore. Hell, I wasn't even me anymore, just this thing they made up. And my "friends"... well, they were sucking me dry.
A Father's Longing for His Daughter
Elvis Presley My own daughter, lost long ago to me...If she knew I lived, would she come and see me? Would she even care?
Defending Home and Friendship Against Adversity
Elvis Presley What do I really have left in life but this place? It ain't much of a home, but it's all I got. Well, goddamnit. I'll be damned if I let some foreign, graffiti-writin', soul-suckin son of a bitch in an oversized cowboy hat and boots take my friend's souls and shit em down the visitors toilet!
Unexpected Conversations About Souls and Orifices
JFK He had me on the floor and had his mouth over my asshole!
Elvis A shit eater?
JFK I don't think so. He was after my soul. Now you can get that out of any major orifice of a person's body. I read about it.
Elvis Oh, yeah? Where, man? Hustler?
Reflections on Fatherhood and Regret
Elvis That's my daughter.
JFK I know. We weren't there for our kids when they needed us, were we?
Elvis Man, if I could just talk to her again... tell her I love her... try and make things right somehow.
JFK No time for regrets, Elvis. We were the best fathers we could be under the circumstances.
Elvis Yeah, I guess, no time for regrets. We got business to take care of.
Elvis Questions Life Beyond Basic Desires
Elvis Presley If Priscilla discovered I was alive, would she come and see me? Would we still wanna fuck? Or would we merely have to talk about it? Is there finally and really anything to life other than food, shit, and sex?
Respect the King: A Cautionary Reminder
Elvis Presley Even a big bitch cockroach like you should know...Never, but never, fuck with the King.
Confronting Mortality and Uncertainty
Elvis Look, man, ]'s dead.
[[Lyndon Johnson|President Johnson]
JFK Shit. That ain't gonna stop him.
Reflections on Pride and Regret
Elvis Presley Here I was complainin about loss of pride and how life had treated me, and I realized...I never had any pride. And much of how life had treated me had been good. The bulk of the bad was my own damn fault. Should've fired ] by the time I got in the pictures. Old fart had been a shark and a fool, and I was even a bigger fool for following him. If only I'd treated ] right. If I could've told ] I loved her. Always the questions, never the answers. Always the hopes, never the fulfillments.
[[w:Colonel Tom Parker|Colonel Parker; [w:Priscilla Presley|Priscilla; [w:Lisa Marie Presley|my daughter]
Perceptions of Attraction and Indifference
Elvis Presley The revealing of her panties wasn't intentional or unintentional; she just didn't give a damn. She saw me as so physically and sexually non-threatenin', she didn't mind if I got bird's eye view of her love nest. It was the same to her as a house cat sneakin a peek. I felt my pecker flutter once, like a pigeon havin a heart attack, then lay back down and remain limp and still. Of course, these days even a flutter was kinda reassurin'.
[looking up Callie's skirt]
Taking Care of Business in the Rest Home
Elvis Ask not what your rest home can do for you. Ask what you can do for your rest home.
JFK Hey, you're copying my best lines!
Elvis Then let me paraphrase one of my own. Let's take care of business.
JFK Just what are you getting at, Elvis?
Elvis I think you know what I'm gettin at Mr. President. We're gonna kill us a mummy.
Confrontation on Aging and Worthlessness
The Nurse Don't carry it too far. You may just get way out there and not come back.
Elvis Oh, fuck you!
Elvis Shit! Get old, you can't even cuss someone and have it bother em. Everything you do is either worthless or sadly amusing.
Reflection on Heroism and Personal Struggles
Elvis Presley In the movies, I always played the heroic types. But when the stage lights went out, it was time for drugs and stupidity and the coveting of women. Now it's time. Time to be a little of what I had always fantasized of bein - a hero.
Elvis Expresses Gratitude in Bubba Ho-tep
Elvis Presley Thank you...Thank you very much.
[his last words]
Elvis Questions Reality and Time in Reflection
Elvis Presley My god, man. How long have I been here? Am I really awake now, or am I just dreaming I'm awake? How could my plans have gone so wrong? When the Hell are they gonna serve lunch? Considering what they serve, why the Hell do I care?
End of Soul-Sucking Days
Elvis Presley Your soul suckin days are over, amigo.
[To the mummy, before burning it]
A Battle Between Two Kings
Taglines The King vs. The King of the Dead
Reflections on Fame and Aging
Elvis Presley Where'd my youth go? Why didn't fame hold off old age and death? Why the hell did I leave the fame in the first place? Do I want it back? Could I have it back? And if I could, would it make any damned difference?