31 quotes
Embracing Life's Uncertainties with Humor
Kar
So, I figured it out. Why hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight. See, the thing is, life doesn't always work out according to plan. So be happy with what you've got, because you can always get a hot dog.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struker's Plan to Extract Information
Struker
My brother monks, when I finally get my hands on your brother with no name, he will, of course, resist my efforts to secure the location of the scroll. But with this machine, I'll torture the information I need out of him. And now for a little test.
[''In torture chamber with Tibetan monks'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Journey of Destiny and Sacrifice
Master Monk
Of my destiny and the beginning of yours. When you first came to me, you were the most undisciplined youth I had ever laid eyes on. And yet you proved yourself worthy to be the next guardian. You have fulfilled the three noble prophesies. You defeated an army of enemies while a flock of crane circled above. You battled for love in the palace of jade. You freed brothers you never knew with a family you never had. Now you must make the final sacrifice.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequence of Absence and Authority
Kar
Well, my boss doesn't seem to be here. Which means you don't get to watch me get yelled at.
[''Calls for a non responding Mr. Kojima'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Among Rivals in Urban Territory
Funktastic goons
Come on, man! Come on, Mr. F, take him! Get it? Got him. Yeah, where you going now, baby? He's kind of nice. Yeah, work it. Shit. You're over! Got no fancy shit now, huh? It is over.
Jade
Hey, come on. I'm bored with beating on this loser. Besides, fighting always gets me hot.
[''On Funktastic's back with arms on his shoulders'']
Funktastic
Lucky for you, this little bit of crumpet's come begging for some of my funktastic love. Me or my people ever see you boosting in our territory again, mate, I'm gonna snip your ] clean off, mince it up and serve it as a ]. Now piss off.
[[w:Hampton|Hampton; [w:shish kebab|shish kebab]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Guardianship of Ultimate Power and Responsibility
Master Monk
The Scroll of the Ultimate. Whoever reads its words out loud in their entirety will gain the power to control the world and turn it into a paradise or a living hell. Mankind is not ready for so much power and may never be. That is why it is our duty to protect the scroll from being read by anyone, including ourselves. Five times the Year of the Ram has passed since I became the next from my honored predecessor, and his master before him, and so on, and so on. I have been protecting the scroll for 60 years. Now it is your turn. It is done. The next 60 years should be very interesting for you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Master Monk's Unexpected Desire for Vacation
Master Monk
It's time for me to do what I've always wanted to do ever ].
[''Leaving temple door''; [w:British expedition to Tibet|since those pesky British showed up in 1904]
Monk With No Name
What's that, Master?
Master Monk
Take a vacation.
[''Gets shot by Waffen-SS'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Value of Saving a Life
Kar
You son of a bitch. You just lost my whole stash.
[''Walking down subway tunnel with Monk With No Name following after rescuing a little girl from getting run over by a train'']
Monk With No Name
Be happy. You helped save a human life.
Kar
Yeah, well, last time I checked there's no reward for that. Tell me, how did you do that back there?
Monk With No Name
Practice.
Kar
Who the hell are you, anyway?
[''Scoffs'']
Monk With No Name
That's not the question you need to ask. You should be asking yourself who you are. Your mind is filled with compassion. That's why you risked your life to help the child. But your mind is also impure. So you forget the spiritual reward and think only of the financial. Well, if you're so pure, why were all those guys in suits chasing you?
Monk With No Name
It doesn't concern you.
Kar
Let me guess, ], ], ].
[[w:FBI|FBI; [w:CIA|CIA; [w:Immigration and Naturalization Service|INS]
Monk With No Name
I said it doesn't concern you.
Kar
Unbelievable.
[''Walks off'']
Monk With No Name
I'm sorry! Every man's life concerns every other man, especially if he is on the noble path to true enlightenment. Can you accept my apology?
[''Kar stops, walks back with Monk With No Name walking up''; ''Extends a hand'']
Kar
Apology accepted. Thanks for helping me.
[''Hugs Monk With No Name and steals Monk's scroll'']
Monk With No Name
No problem, man.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Claiming Ownership of a Bird
Funktastic
That's my bird.
[''Kicks Kar off Jade when fighting'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acknowledging Limitations of Strength
Struker
Monk, you may be good, but you are not bulletproof.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commitment to Human Rights and Supporters
Nina
Ladies and gentlemen. As the newly-appointed executive director of the Human Rights Organization, I would like to welcome you all here today. Please, pardon our appearance. As you can see, we're still under construction. But we wanted you, our most generous supporters, to have a preview of our new exhibit. You see, out of the rubble that was Europe at the end of ], men and women of good will, people like yourselves, decided to build an organization dedicated to the prevention of human rights abuses all around the Earth. And today I am here to tell you we failed. Thanks to all of you and many others like you, we are able to continue this fight. This fight against hate, violence, oppression, and cruelty in all its forms.
[[w:Second World War|World War II]
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Unforeseen Costs and Regrets
Kar
Man, if I knew I was gonna pay, ].
[[w:New York City Taxi and Limousine Commission|I wouldn't have cabbed it]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Illusion of Sufficiency in Life
Kar
And by the way, I got the answer to your little question from last night. Yeah. Check this out. The reason hot dogs come in packages of ten but ] come in packages of just eight is so you'll always need more buns for your hot dogs. Because no matter how much you get, how much you achieve, how many times you win... You can never, ever let yourself feel like it's enough.
[''The monk inquires curtly''; [w:Hot dog bun|hot dog buns; ''The monk bluntly disagrees'']
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Belief in Potential
Monk With No Name
For some reason, I believe he has potential.
[''Of Kar'']
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Frustration with the pursuit of enlightenment
Kar
Enough with all this ], okay? ]. We don't have enlightenment here. We have ], ], ], ] and ]! You got it?
[[w:Fortune cookie|fortune-cookie philosophy; [w:United States|This is America; [w:Big Mac|Big Macs; [w:strip club|strip clubs; [w:shopping mall|shopping malls; [w:Las Vegas Strip|Las Vegas; [w:HBO|HBO]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning the Sharing of Power
Struker
Did you really think I was going to share ultimate power with you?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Profit-Driven Philosophy of a Businessman
Funktastic
Funktastic's the name and profit's the game. See, I'm a businessman. And my fiscal policy toward crime consists of two words, zero tolerance. Unless, of course, the criminal in question has an officially authorized franchise. And you ain't got one.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing Insurmountable Odds
Monk With No Name
He will defeat an army of enemies while ]. Impossible. Besides, he's going to lose.
[''In voiceover, remembering Master Monk parable while watching Kar fighting Funktastic goons''; [w:Crane (bird)|a flock of cranes circles above; ''Aloud'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Victory Acknowledged with a Hint of Humor
Monk With No Name
Approaches Congratulations on your victory. Though, technically, you were saved by a girl. It was your charm that convinced the girl to lead them away.
[''Kar walking in parking lot'']
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Conditional Protection in Relationships
Struker
You may be my granddaughter. But that will only protect you for so long.
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A Call for Peaceful Resolution
Struker
My brother monks, you have seen the destructive power which is mine to command. I also have the power to leave this blessed monastery in peace. I trust you will do what's best for all of us and step aside. No?
[''Walks up to row of Tibetan monks''; ''All monks are executed'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity Assertion by Mr. Kojima
Mr. Kojima
And I am through taking your messages. My name is Kokijima. Not ], ], ].
[[w:Sony|Sony; [w:Sanyo|Sanyo; [w:Toshiba|Toshiba]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Protecting the Scroll
Master Monk
The scroll. You must protect scroll.
[''To Monk With No Name after getting shot by [[w:Waffen-SS|Waffen-SS]
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Protection and Profit in Criminal Turf
Funktastic goon 1
You're boosting in the wrong turf!
[''Punches Kar in the face'']
Funktastic goon 2
Get your punk ass over here! Finger man here calls himself Kar. He got caught ripping off marks at the Bishop Square subway station!
[''Grabbing and manhandling Kar'']
Kar
I'm supposed to pay you for the right to rip people off?
[''To Funktastic'']
Funktastic goon 1
That's right. 60% off the top. This entitles you to squatter's right in Mr. Funktastic's cribs chow at his ], and protection provided by Mr. Funktastic and his crew.
[[w:Greasy spoon|greasy spoons]
Funktastic goon 1
And that's us.
Kar
You know, it's really enticing. But if this is an example of a Funktastic crib, I'm gonna check myself into ].
[[w:Motel 6|a Motel 6; ''All Funktastic goons laugh'']
Funktastic
That's good. Pretty funny. You'd be a corpse already, mate, if not for the fact I heard you're an exceptionally good earner. Maybe I heard wrong. In which case, you're nothing to me, mate. You're less than nothing. Around here, less than nothing means dead.
[''Punches Kar in abdomen'']
Kar
You heard right about me. I just... I need some time to think over your offer. In the meantime, take this. It's okay. An offer of good faith.
[''Reaches into jacket''; ''Holds out Monk's scroll'']
Funktastic
What do you think I am, Kar, a bloody tourist? You come down here and try and palm that ] piece of shit off on me? You got big orchestras, mate. ].
[''Takes scroll from Kar''; ''Throws scroll to thug who throws it indfferently over shoulder''; [w:Sweatshop|made-in-a-Bangkok-sweatshop; [w:castration|Too bad I have to cut them off]
Kar
I have no idea what you just said.
Funktastic goon 3
]. He's gonna cut off your balls.
[[w:testicles|Your balls; ''All goons jump near Kar attempting to assault Kar who fights them all off'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Essence of Inner Strength and Understanding
Monk With No Name
It's not about anger; it's about peace. It's not about power; it's about grace. It's not about knowing your enemy; it's about knowing yourself.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Choices of Identity and Morality
Nina
Tell me, deep inside, at the bottom of your soul, who would you rather be? The man about to be shot? Or the man about to do the shooting?
[''Showing Jade a picture of a refugee kneeling in front of a man with a rifle'']
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Wisdom in Hospitality and Conversation
Monk With No Name
An enlightened man would offer a weary traveler a bed for the night, and invite him to share a quiet conversation over a bowl of ].
[[w:Cocoa Puffs|Cocoa Puffs]
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The Balance of Purity and Life
Monk With No Name
Water which is too pure has no fish.
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A Lesson in Trust and Mastery
Monk With No Name
], Master.
[''Closing eyes of deceased Master Monk''; [w:Buddhist eschatology|Enjoy your vacation]
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The Importance of Identity and Letting Go
Master Monk
You must give up your name.
Monk With No Name
I have already forgotten it, Master.
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Beauty in Anger and Admiration
Jade
What the hell are you looking at?
[''On top of Kar fighting him'']
Kar
You're just so damn beautiful, especially when you're angry.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.