Caddyshack II Quotes

Cynthia Young I want to go home.

Chandler Young Now now, Cynthia. The last thing we want to do is let him think he's winning.

Cynthia Young But he IS winning!

Peter Blunt That's hard to say, huh? Well, when can we get the power turned back on? That's hard to say, huh? Well, tell me something. Is it as hard to say as "Oh, my god! Somebody help me! There's a man in my office with a flamethrower"?

Cynthia Young The man tried to kill me.

Chandler Young I'm sure he had his reasons.

Chandler Young Your target's name is Jack Hartounian. I want him to be discouraged from erecting any more structures on Bushwood estates.

Capt. Tom Everett Discouraged? As in "extreme prejudice"?

Chandler Young We already tried extreme prejudice. It didn't work.

Capt. Tom Everett No, I mean do you want him... ...terminated?

Chandler Young The less I know about that, the better.

Capt. Tom Everett Good! Good, that's my policy exactly. You see, that way, when we're captured, and they attach the twelve-volt car batteries to our testicles... which can, does, and... has happened... ...then we can honestly say we had nothing to do with it.

Capt. Tom Everett In future conversations, you will refer to me as... uh, Mr. Sanderson and I will refer to you as... uh, Mrs. Esterhouse.

Chandler Young Captain Everett...

Capt. Tom Everett Goodbye, Mrs. Esterhouse.

Miffy Young Kate, I've decided that you must join my sorority, and I know that the Kappas are just gonna love you. There's only one thing: would you consider of changing your name? I was think thinking about taking out the "ounian" and shortening it to Kate Hart. Isn't that great?

Kate Hartounian Whoa, wait a second. What is wrong with my real name?

Miffy Young Nothing. It's just that it sounds so...

Kate Hartounian So what?

Miffy Young Kate, you want people to think that you belong.

Kate Hartounian I do belong - to a family.

Miffy Young Well, if you want my honest opinion, Kate: I think that your family's real embarrassing, and I'm very happy that I'm not a part of it.

Kate Hartounian Yeah, so am I.

Miffy Young What?

Kate Hartounian Miffy, you are a stupid, superficial, snotty, little bitch.

Miffy Young Oh, really? Really, Kate? Whatever! Whatev...

Ty Webb We're talking mucho dinero, and probably some American money too.

Jack Hartounian Take chances. I'm insured.

Miffy Young Mother, how could you marry a man with such a terrible short game?

Cynthia Young Oh, shut up, Mary Frances, you spoiled, snotty, superficial, little bitch!

Miffy Young What?!

Chandler Young Interesting club. what would you call that?

Jack Hartounian Twelve gauge.

Capt. Tom Everett If I pull the arrow out, will you p-please s-suck out the poison?

Ty Webb Let me get this straight. You pull it out, I suck. Is there any money in it for me?

Ty Webb You know I'm always shooting myself with one of those poison-dipped, crossbow darts. I don't know why they don't put a warning on those things.

Peter Blunt Golf, golf... what kinda name is "golf" anyway? Sounds like a sound you make when you've got something caught in your throat.

Taglines Home of the rich and tasteless.

Peter Blunt Well, you certainly made it very clear how your legal system works Mr. Young. Now, I'd like to explain a little bit about the Peter Blunt system. You see, I don't go in for lawsuits and motions or any of the legal stuff. No, no, you see what happens is, uh, I find out where you live and then I come to your house, see? And I beat down your door with a fucking baseball bat! And, then I make a bonfire with the Chipendale, maybe roast that Golden Retriever, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, then eat it! And then I'm coming upstairs, junior, and I'm gonna grab you by your Brooks Bros. P.J.s, and then I'm gonna take your brand new B.M.W., and cram it up your tight ass! Do we have an understanding?

Chandler Young I'm Chandler Young.

Jack Hartounian Oh, I'm afraid I'm at a disadvantage; I only have one last name.

Chandler Young And quite an interesting last name it is.

Jack Hartounian Hartounian!

Chandler Young What is your background?

Jack Hartounian My father was Armenian. My other was half Jewish, half English, half Spanish.

Chandler Young That's three halves.

Jack Hartounian Oh, she was a big woman.

Taglines The shack is back!

Harry I won't be a caddy all my life, I'm going to carwash school in the fall.