Cars 2 (2011) - Quotes

Taglines: They're not just racing around the world; they're racing to save the world.

Taglines: [[w:Michael Giacchino|Michael Giacchino] Original score composed by ].

Taglines: [[Toy Story 3] From the creators of ].

Taglines: The mission begins.

Taglines: Spy it only in theaters June 24, 2011.

Taglines: Fuel the love.

Mater: So, there we were, my rocket jets goin full blast, McQueen hangin on for dear life, when suddenly, them two nasty lemons come out of nowhere with guns drawn. We was goners. But then, out of nowhere, this beautiful spy car swoops in from the sky to save us.

Minny: That's a very entertaining story, young man.

Van: Oh, Minny, please. Come on! None of this happened. Rocket jets, flying spy cars--

Holley: [out of nowhere; landing] No, you're quite right. It does sound a bit far-fetched.

Mater: Holley! What are you doin here?

Holley: Hello, Mater! It's so good to see you again.

Mater: Finn!

Luigi: So, you got-a my email.

Mater: Oh, man. Y'all is gon have a great time. Everybody, this here's Finn McMissile. He's a secret agent. Don't tell nobody. And this is Holley Shiftwell. She's--

Holley: I'm Mater's girlfriend. It's so nice to meet you all.

Fillmore: [points to Sarge] If you're implying that I switched out that rot-gut excuse for alternative fuel with my all-natural, sustainable, organic biofuel just because I never trusted Axlerod, you're dead wrong, man; It was him.

Sarge: Once big oil, always big oil... man.

Fillmore: Tree-hugger.

The Queen: I hereby dub thee Sir Tow Mater.

Mater: Sir"? Shoot, you can just call me Mater, Your Majesty. I don't wanna hear none of this "sir" business. By the way, have y'all met each other? Queen, McQueen. McQueen, Queen. McQueen, McMissile. McMissile, McQueen. Queen, McMissile.

Finn: [arriving; Holley arrives] Hold your fire! He can't disarm it! Mater, I don't know what you're doing, but stand down now!

Mater: This ain't nothin at all like Radiator Springs.

Lightning: Mater, just cut to the chase.

Mater: [points to Miles] Okay. It's him!

Miles: What? Me? You've got to be crazy.

Mater: I figured it out when I realized y'all attached this tickin time bomb with Whitworth bolts, the same bolts that hold together that old British engine from the photograph. Holley, show that picture!

Holley: [shows the holographic photo of the mysterious hood engine] Okay.

Mater: And then I remembered what they said about old British engines: "If there ain't no oil under em, there ain't no oil (over) in em".

Miles: What is he talking about?

Mater: It was you leakin oil at the party in Japan. You just blamed it on me.

Miles: Electric cars don't use oil, you twit!

Mater: [Miles realizes that he knows the truth, then backs away] Then you're fakin it. You didn't convert to no electric. When we pop that hood, we gonna see that engine from that picture right there.

Miles: [panicking; backs up to the edge of the stage] This lorry's crazy! He's gonna kill us all! Stay away!

Holley: But Sir Axlerod created the race, Mater. Why would he want to hurt anyone?

Mater: To make Allinol look bad, so everybody'd go back to usin oil. I mean, he said it himself with that disguised voice.

Miles: Disguised voice"? What are you talking about? You're nuts, you are!

Prince William: This is going nowhere fast. We really should go, Grandmother.

The Queen: One moment. I would like to see where this is going.

Finn: Mater, he created Allinol.

Mater: Yeah, but what if he found that huge oil field just as the world was tryna find somethin else? What if he came up with Allinol just to make alternative fuel look bad?

Miles: [as the bomb's countdown goes from 19 to 18 seconds] What if"? You're basing this on a "what if"?!

Security Guard: Okay, that's it.

Another Security Guard: [the other guards evacuate, followed by the Queen and the spectators] Right, lads, clear out!

Miles: Wait, somebody save me! The lorry's crazy! Keep away, you idiot!

Finn: [shocked] Mater?!

Holley: [worried] Mater!

Miles: Someone, do something!

Car in Crowd: [alarmed; Mater stands his ground, glaring at Miles, while everyone braces for the explosion including Finn Holley and Lightning] Drive away!

Miles: [the bomb counts down at 3 to 2 seconds; The bomb's countdown stops at 1 second, then shows the words "Voice Accepted"] You're insane, you are! DEACTIVATE!

Bomb Computer: Bomb deactivated. Have a nice day, Sir Axlerod:).

Finn: The engine from the photo.

Holley: [compares the image] It's a perfect match.

Miles: [his last words; still shocked; getting escorted away by the police cruisers, offscreen] How did the tow truck figure it out?

Lightning: [to Mater] It's official. You're coming to all my races from now on.

Mater: Now you're talkin'!

Holley: Mater, we've gotta get that bomb off you.

Lightning: Bomb?

Mater: [explains to Lightning] Yeah, they strapped it to me to kill you as a backup plan.

Lightning: [Finn arrives with Professor Z strapped up] Backup plan? Mater, who put a bomb on you?

Professor Zündapp: [to Lightning] You. Why didn't my death ray KILL YOU?!

Lightning: [shocked/flabbergasted] Death ray?!

Finn: Turn off the bomb (please), Zündapp!

Professor Zündapp: Are you all so dense? It's voice-activated. Everything is voice-activated these days.

Mater: Deactivate! Deactivate!

Bomb Computer: [activates countdown timer for 5:00; Mater gasps in shock] Voice denied.

Finn: (Mater, what's wrong?)

Professor Zündapp: [scoffs] Oops! Did I forget to mention it can only be disarmed by the one who activated it?

Holley: [pulls out her taser gun; sternly] Say it!

Prof. Zündapp: [nonchalantly] Deactivate.

Bomb Computer: [timer subtracts 1 minute] Voice denied.

Mater: [alarmed] Whoa!

Professor Zündapp: [his last words in the film; gets tazed by Holley and knocked out unconscious] Oh. I'm not the one who activated it. Would anyone else like to try?

Finn: [smirks] You read my mind.

Holley: Ugh, he was getting on my nerves.

Lightning: What do we do?

Victor: [The whole group of lemons surround the four] It's very simple. You blow up.

Lightning: I'm gonna go out on a limb here - these are the guys that want me dead, correct?

Vladimir: It's nothing personal.

Mater: [The lemons seem to take this in] Fellers, listen, I know what you're goin through. Everybody's been laughin at me my whole life too. But becoming powerful and rich beyond your wildest dreams ain't gonna make you feel better.

J. Curby: [deploying his gun; ?] Yeah, but it's worth a shot!

Guido: Pitstop!

Sheriff: [puts a boot on Vladmir] Not today, boys!!

Tubbs Pacer: Retreat!!

Sarge: Thanks for the help, Corporal.

British Man: Anything for one of Pop's mates.

Holley: Got it.

Francesco Bernoulli: What is happening?

Tony: Hurry, Professor!

Professor Zündapp: Aah!

Finn: [to Professor Zündapp; ?] Ha! Do you really think, I'm goin to let you float away, Professor?!

Mater: McQueen, let go!?

Lightning: Never!

Blue Gremlin: [hangs up] Hey they're coming your way.

Grem: Let's go.

Professor Zündapp: [But, like any other hero, Finn refuses to give up and launches bombs at Tony, who looks at them in horror. The bombs then explode massively, killing and destroying Tony once and for all, and Professor Zündapp is captured by Finn. Holley is then seen catching up to Lightning and Mater.] Give it up, McMissile!

Holley: Mater, stop!

Mater: No way! You could get hurt.

Holley: [gasps; sees Grem and Acer heading towards Lightning and Mater with guns drawn; She bumps into Grem and Acer] Oh, no.

Acer, Grem: AAH!

Grem: [Mater watches horrified as Grem starts the Emitter at 100% power. The Emitter's red light glows brightly. The Emitter continues to aim at Lightning, but nothing happens to him as he continues racing] Here he comes.

Zündapp: What happened?

Acer: I don't know, Professor.

Grem: What did you do.

Acer: I didn't do nothing.

Miles: [in a deep, disguised voice] Welcome, everyone. I wish I could be with you on this very special day, but... my clutch assembly broke. You know how it is.

Tubbs: Been there.

J. Curby: Forget about it.

Vladimir: We know how you feel.

Miles: [Carla Veloso blown engine] We are here to celebrate. Today, all your hard work pays off. The world turned their backs on cars like us. They stopped manufacturing us, stopped making our parts. The only thing they haven't stopped doing is laughing at us. They've called us terrible names: jalopy, rust bucket, heap, clunker, junker, beater, wreck, rattletrap, lemon. But their insults just give us strength. Because today, my friends, that... all... ends!

Stephenson: Finn, one hour to Porto Corsa.

Mater: What? I thought you was supposed to be makin me a disguise.

Computer: [changes Mater to look like Ivan] Voice recognized. Disguise program initiated.

Mater: [chuckles] Cool! Hey, Computer, make me a German truck.

Computer: [changes Mater to his normal self, wearing lederhosen] Request acknowledged.

Mater: Check it out! I'm wearing Mater-hosen. Make me a monster truck!

Computer: [changes Mater into a Count Dracula truck] Request acknowledged.

Mater: [imitating Dracula; normal voice] What the--? Ha-ha-ha! I vant to siphon your gas! Ha-ha! Now make me a taco truck!

Computer: [changes Mater into a taco truck; his horn plays "La Cucaracha"] Request acknowledged.

Mater: A funny car!

Computer: [changes Mater into a yellow hot rod; he revs his engine] Request acknowledged.

Uncle Topolino: You know, back when Guido and Luigi used to work for me, they would fight over everything. They fight over what Ferrari was the best Ferrari, which one of them looked more like a Ferrari. There were even some non-Ferrari fights. So, tell me them, va bene! It's okay to fight. Everybody fights now and then, especially best friends. But you gotta make up fast. No fight more important than friendship. Chi trova un'amico, trova un tesoro.

Photographer: Francesco!

Darrell: Francesco, over here. Hey, what was your strategy today?

Francesco: [Lightning simply rolls his eyes] Strategia?! Francesco needs-a no strategy, it’s very simple: You start the race, wait for Lightning McQueen to choke, pass him, then win. Francesco always-a wins, it’s-a boring.

Darrell: [Lightning notices Mater returning to the pits and sneaks off to go talk to him] I gotta tell you, dude, you were in trouble for a while. That dirt track section had you crawling.

Francesco: To truly crush one's dream, you must first raise their hopes very high.

Mater: [chuckles] Yelling"? Oh, you thought-- Oh! That's funny right there. No, see, that's cause I've seen these two fellers doing some sort of karate street performance. It was nutso. One of em even had a flamethrower.

Mater: Going to meet my date.

Mater: She started talkin to me as a voice in my head, tellin me where to go.

Reporter #1: Hey, there he is!

Reporter #2: McQueen, you had it in the bag!

Reporter #3: Yeah, what happened?

Brent: [on TV] Lightning McQueen loses in the last lap to Francesco Bernoulli in the first race of the World Grand Prix. And three, count em, three cars flamed out, leaving some to suggest that their fuel, Allinol, might be to blame.

Miles: [interviewed] Allinol is safe! Alternative fuel is safe! There is no way my fuel caused these cars to flame out.

Darrell: Well, the jury may still be out on whether Allinol caused these accidents, but one thing's for sure: Lightning McQueen blew this race!

Mater: [they go into the waiting room; Finn takes off his disguise] Ah, doggone it. This is about my hook, ain't it? I know I should have checked it, but I can't, really. Look. It's attached to me. Hey, I know you. You’re that feller from the karate demonstration.

Mater: Let's just say I'm a triple AAA affiliated. Yeah, I know some karate. I don't wanna brag or nuttin', but I got me a black fan belt. You wanna see some moves I made up?

Mater: [does some karate moves, crushing an oil can] This first one, I can reach into a car's hood, pull out his battery, and show it to him before he stalls. I call it, "What I accidentally did to my friend Luigi once." Hey! Hi-yah-pah! Hi-yah!

Grem: There he is!

Mater: [realizes] Hi-hi-tah! Huh! Look, I probably ought to go. I'm about to miss my flight.

Acer: It's Finn McMissile! But you're dead!

McMissile: [sprays both Acer and Petey with a fire extinguisher, blinding them] Then this shouldn't hurt at all.

Grem: I got to admit, you tricked us real good.

Acer: [Rod chuckles] And we don't like bein tricked. Hey! What's so funny?

Rod: [Grem pushes a lever, turning the magnet off, and causing Rod to land on a small platform, where one of the Lemon Cars pushes a fuel tank of Allinol towards him.] Well, you know, I was just wearing a disguise. You guys are stuck looking like that. Allinol? Thanks, fellas! I hear this stuff is good for you.

Zündapp: [presses a button, which causes some cylinders attached to the platform to turn Rod's rear tires and make whirring sounds as his status bar shows his speedometer going up] So, you think. Allinol by itself is good for you. But after microscopic examination, I have found that it has one small weakness. When hit with an electromagnetic pulse, it becomes extremely dangerous.

Grem: [moves a camera-like EMP generator forward] Smile for the camera.

Rod: Is that all you want? I got a whole act.

Zündapp: You were very interested in this camera on the oil platform. Now, you will witness what it really does.

Rod: Whatever you say, Professor.

Acer: [as a Pacer comes up with a TV screen showing a picture of Rod with a Japanese pink car while in disguise] You talked up a lot of cars last night. Which one's your associate?

Rod: Your mother. Oh, no, I'm sorry, it was your sister. You know, I can't tell them apart these days.

Grem: Could I start it now, Professor Z?

Zündapp: [Grem then pushes a lever beneath the EMP generator that causes the lens to light up and make whirring sounds, going to 50% power] Go 50% power. camera is actually an electromagnetic pulse emitter.

Acer: [showing Rod a picture of him with Shigeko] What about her? Did you give it to her?

Zündapp: [While Zündapp is talking, Rod's engine is heard cracking, then the oil is heard flowing.] The Allinol is now heating to a boil, dramatically expanding, causing the engine block to crack under the stress, forcing oil into the combustion chamber.

Acer: [showing Rod a picture of him with a Japanese red Ferrari at a sushi stand] How about him? Did you talk to him?!

Rod: [as smoke gets emitted from his tailpipes] What do I care?! I can replace an engine *block?*

Zündapp: [as Grem pushes the generator's lever to 75% power] You may be able to, but after full impact of the pulse, unfortunately, there will be nothing to replace.

Acer: [showing Rod a picture of him with Mater in the bathroom; Rod trembles upon seeing the image, which Zündapp then notices and looks at the picture.] How about him? Does he have it?

Zündapp: That's him. He's the 1.

Grem: Roger that, Professor Z.

Rod: [his last words before he's exploded] NO!

Zündapp: [through cell phone to the Lemon Kingpin] Yes, sir. We believe the infiltrator has passed along sensitive information.

Lemon Kingpin: [through phone] Right away!

Zündapp: [hangs up; Zündapp then pushes the generator's lever to 100% power, which the screen then shows the picture of Rod and Mater, zooming in as a reflection of Rod is shown, shaking as the generator's electromagnetic pulse gets more powerful, before he finally explodes, cut into the screen shows a distant view of Mount Fuji and a Japanese tower while the WGP theme begins] I will take care of it before any damage can be done. The project is still on schedule. You will find the second agent and kill him.

Brent Mustangburger: Japan, land of the rising sun, where ancient tradition meets modern technology. Welcome to the inaugural running of the World Grand Prix. I'm Brent Mustangburger, here with racing legends Darrell Cartrip and David Hobbscap. There's never been a competition like this before. First, Allinol, making its debut tonight as the required fuel for all these great champions. Second, the course itself, and it's like nothing we've ever seen before. David, how exactly does this competition work?

David: [the camera shows the labeled in Japan, Italy and England] Well, Brent, all three of these street courses are classic round-the-house racetracks. This means that the LMP and Formula cars should break out of the gate in spectacular fashion. Look for Francesco Bernoulli in particular to lead early. And with a series of technical turns throughout GT and Touring cars like Spain's Miguel Camino should make up some ground but I doubt it'll be enough to stop Francesco from absolutely running away with it.

Darrell: Whoa, now just hold your horsepower. You're forgetting the most important factor here: that early dirt track section of the course! The dirt is supposed to be the great equalizer in this race.

Brent: French rally car Raoul ÇaRoule is counting on a big boost heading through there.

Darrell: And don't forget Lightning McQueen! His mentor, the Hudson Hornet, was one of the greatest dirt track racers of all time. In my opinion, McQueen is the best all-around racer in this competition.

David: [The WGP racers roll into the starting line to prepare to race.] Really, Darrell, I think you need to clean your windshield. You're clearly not seeing this for what it is: Francesco's race to lose.

Brent: It's time for find out. The racers are locking into the grid.

Lightning: [closes his eyes as a pre-race ritual] Speed. I am speed.

Francesco: [laughs mockingly; closes his eyes; revs his engine] Really? You are speed? Then Francesco is triple speed. Francesco is triple speed. Oh-ho! Francesco likes-a this, McQueen. It's-a really getting him into the zone!

Lightning: [complains about Francesco; revs his engine; the lights turn from red to green, and the first race is underway] He is so getting beat today.

Lightning: There you are. Where have you been?

Mater: What's a "rendezvous"?

Luigi: Uh, it's like a date.

Mater: A date?

Lightning: Mater, what's going on?

Mater: Well, what's goin on is I got me a date tomorrow.

Guido: Non ci credo. (I don't believe you.)

Luigi: Guido don't believe you.

Mater: [sees Holley and waves] Well, believe it. My new girlfriend just said so. Hey, there she is! Hey! Hey, lady! See you tomorrow!

Guido: Ancora non ci credo. (I still don't believe you.)

Luigi: Guido still don't believe you.

Mater: [whistles] I'll take one of them. Thank you. Never know which one McQueen will have a hankering for. Hey, whatcha got here that's free? How about that pistachio ice cream?

Sushi Chef: No, no. Wasabi.

Mater: But wait, I... Oh, shoot.

Lightning: Mater!

Miles: Has anyone got a towel?

Lightning: Mater, you have to get a hold of yourself; You're making a scene.

Mater: But I never leak oil. Never.

Lightning: [not believing his friend; As Mater drives off, a forklift and Axlerod notice Lightning, who grins sheepishly] Go take care of yourself right now.

Mater: [accidentally enters the ladies' room, and the ladies scream and yell in Japanese; ?; ?; ?] Coming through. Excuse me. Leaking oil. Where's the bathroom? Thank you. I gotta go. Oh, uh-- Uh-- Sorry, ladies! ? Whoa! What is.

Mater: Well, dad-gum, you're leakin oil again, must be yer gaskets. Hey, but look on the bright side. This is yer 10th tow this month, so that means it's on the house.

Otis: You're the only one that's nice to lemons like me, Mater.

Mater: Hey, don't sweat it. Shoot, these things happen to everybody, Otis.

Otis: But you never leak oil!

Mater: Yeah, but I ain't perfect. Don't tell nobody, but I think my rust is tryna show through.