9 quotes
Unexpected Gift Leads to Confusion Among Characters
Mr. Tinkles
As for you, Brody herd, I have a very, very, special... gift! WHAT?!?
[Reaches into a box on the desk, and pulls out cork gun; angrily]
Scott
Whoa!
Mr. Tinkles
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO BUY A REAL GUN!
Calico
Yeah, that's what I was thinking...
Mr. Tinkles
Ohh! What possible use could I have for THIS?! Hey, I'm so clever. You know, this is... yeah, this is just plain fun, yeah. I want you to stay here.
[Throws the cork gun, firing the cork, breaking things and setting the room on fire; Starts to leave; to Calico]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mr. Tinkles Questions Calico's Response
Mr. Tinkles
So tell me, one of you - is the dog out of the way? Did the puppy fall for my clever trap, hmm? None of you have a tale to tell, hmm? A little story for me, perhaps? You! Tell me! Is the game afoot?
[to Calico]
Calico
Err... yes?
Mr. Tinkles
WHY IS THE GAME AFOOT?!
[lightning flashes]
Calico
I-I mean-- I mean, no!
Mr. Tinkles
Ah, excellent. So the puppy is dead. Now we can move onto--
Calico
Wait, wait, err... can I change my answer?
Mr. Tinkles
Is the puppy alive or not?!
Calico
Well, a-another dog told him it was a bomb.
Mr. Tinkles
Another dog?
Calico
Anyway, I'm sure we'll get into the basement lab just fine. Right, guys? Guys! See? Project Dark Cloud should go down without a hitch--
[silence; the other cats at the meeting voice their agreement]
Mr. Tinkles
Dark Cloud"? Is that what I'm calling my plan?! "Dark Cloud"?!
Calico
Not that I know of! Err, what were you calling it...?
Cat
Dark Storm"!
[from offscreen]
Calico
Storm"!
Mr. Tinkles
Dark Storm," yes, yes. Because like a powerful dark storm, I will make my presence known to the world! Like a seeping mist, I will creep into the dogs centre of power, and make them quake in fear AT THE VERY MENTION OF MY NAME!
Sophie the Maid
Oh, Mr. Tinkles?
[entering the room]
Mr. Tinkles
AAAH! Hide!
[the other cats retreat under the table]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Between Cat and Dog Unfolds
Lou
I'm onto you kitty, and you're in big trouble.
[After Mrs. Brody brings home a Russian Blue kitten]
Russian Blue
I think not, baby puppy. It is you who is in trouble.
[Deep, male Russian voice]
Lou
Ugh, yuck!
Russian Blue
From Russia with love...
Lou
Uh-oh...
Russian Blue
...stealth poop.
Mrs. Brody
I don't have time for this. Bad dog!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Complications in Team Dynamics
Butch
How could this have happened?!
Control
It was an accident. He slipped through.
Butch
You promised me a professional! And what do I get?! A puppy! I mean, he's still got his you-know-whats, for crying out loud!
Control
There's no time, Butch. The puppy stays. End of discussion. Out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mice as Unlikely Allies in World Domination
Mr. Tinkles
In just hours, every human in the world will be allergic to dogs! But such a mammoth plot requires brothers-in-arms - and this is where my genius truly comes to pass. For I have chosen a comrade that can invade every home in the world... because it is already in every home in the world! MICE!
Butch
Son of my mom!
Mr. Tinkles
Mice! The unlikeliest of allies! Thousands of you, covered in concentrated dog allergy! I'm sure you're all asking, "How can he possibly spread the allergy to the world?" So if you'll open your World Domination pamphlets to page three, I'll tell you.
Mr. Tinkles
You are to enter into the sewers and, using the maps provided in Appendix B, you will make your way across the nation. Half of you will infiltrate homes, infecting every human in sight, while the other half... err, turn the page.
[clears throat]
Mr. Tinkes
...will stow away on planes, boats and dirigibles to infect every corner of the world! And with the dogs out of the way, cats will overthrow the humans, and you will be given your much deserved reward: SIXTEEN POUNDS OF ], AND THE CONTINENT OF AUSTRALIA!
[[w:Monterey Jack|MONTEREY JACK]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discovering Garbage Delights Among Strays
Ivy
Hey, can I show you something terrific? The Brodys have the best garbage on the block! Go on, take a bite!
[leaps into the skip and tosses out a roast chicken]
Lou
Oh my... whoa! You mean this is what they get to eat? What a gyp!
[tasting the chicken]
Ivy
Mmm, glad I'm not the only one excited about the chicken. I was beginning to think I've been a stray too long.
Lou
Stray? Cool... I've never met a stray.
[chuckles nervously]
Ivy
Actually, I prefer "domestically challenged.
Lou
Well, Miss Challenged, I'm sorry, but I think you gotta leave! My orders are clear! I am not gonna permit--
[trying to sound tough]
Ivy
Orders?
[jumps down in front of him]
Lou
That's right! I'm a secret agent!
Ivy
An agent? Why, you're a little small for an agent. Shouldn't you be busy having fun?
[amused]
Lou
I don't have time for fun!
Ivy
Ooh, tough guy... Stop with the agent stuff, okay? You have your very own kid to play with. Don't take it for granted.
[she tickles his neck and belly, making him roll over in pleasure; starts to leave]
Lou
Whoa... Hey, where you going? Could you do that again?
Ivy
Next time the boy talks to you, just tilt your head and perk up your ears. You'll see what I'm talking about. And do me a favour - tell Butch Ivy's back in town.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Lesson in Behavior for Mr. Tinkles
Sophie
That's right, Mr. Tinkles, you have been a very bad kitty! I'm just going to have to teach you how to behave. Now, you'll just have to live with me... ...and my sisters!
[Entering the house...]
Mr. Tinkles
This can't be happening.
[Closing line]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Playful Exchange of Power and Appearance
Mr. Tinkles
When I rule the Earth, you will be the first on my list!
Calico
You should keep your hair like that, it's very slimming.
[chuckles, hiding behind a toilet]
Mr. Tinkles
There's plenty of room on that list for you.
Calico
No, I mean it.
[emerging]
Mr. Tinkes
We only have a few days to succeed, and although playing pet for that sick old man upstairs is key to my ingenious scheme, I cannot stand this humiliation any longer! Am I clear?!
[growls]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mr. Tinkles Plans to Overthrow Humanity
Mr. Tinkles
Meow-meow-me-meow-meow! How many dogs does it take to overthrow mankind? Just one stupid puppy.
[over the phone, in a taunting "nyah nyah" sing-song]
Lou
Where is my family?!
Mr. Tinkles
Oh, they're alive... for now. But it won't matter. You see, I've--
Mr. Tinkles
THIS ISN'T NASCAR, YOU IDIOT! I have seized the professor's formula, and in a mere hour I will reverse it, giving me the power to make all humans allergic to dogs!
[clears throat]
Butch
What?!
Mr. Tinkles
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GLOAT GLEEFULLY WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING LIKE A CHIMPANZEE?!? I MEAN, REALLY! Now I will make all of humanity violently allergic to your wretched kind, and when you are all hated and despised by those you protect, you will be CAST OUT, leaving me to lead all of cat-kind in a glorious revolution to conquer the world!
[clears throat again; laughs evilly]
Lou
What will we do?
Butch
We"? You just handed the world back to the cats and doomed the human race forever! There's nothing left to do.
Ivy
You always give up too easily, Butch.
[approaches wearing high-tech equipment]
Butch
Is that what I think it is?
Lou
What, Butch?
Ivy
Yep, it's the Cat Tracker 2000.
Mr. Tinkles
Those fleabags must be running for the hills!
[chuckles]
Calico
Yeah, I... yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.