27 quotes
Misunderstanding About Beauty Salon Terminology
Jack Tanner
I think all the chemicals from that beauty salon have gotten to your head.
Mooney
It's a day spa, you Jack.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation with Allegations of Corruption
Mooney
Let him up.
Ryan
Help me. They're dirty cops!
Greer
He attacked my partner. He tried to kill me.
Mooney
I said, "Let him up.
Greer
You're going to believe this lying piece of shot over a cop?
Mooney
It doesn't matter what I believe. What's important is that you believe I will put a bullet in your skull if you don't let him up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Naming Choices in Unusual Circumstances
Ryan
Ricky Martin"? You named your kid "Ricky Martin"?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding About Family Identity
Jessica Martin
YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG FAMILY!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Transaction of Information and Services
Ryan
I got what you're looking for.
Vietnamese Artist
Oh?
Ryan
Yeah.
Vietnamese Artist
Okay, and what I do for it?
Ryan
What?
Vietnamese Artist
What I do for what I looking for? You tell me now.
Ryan
Wait, who's this? What number did I call?
Vietnamese Artist
You call me on the payphone. You waste my time. I have pictures to draw.
Ryan
Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. Chill out.
Vietnamese Artist
No, you don't tell me what to chill. My mother tell me to chill. I sit here, I draw people telling me to chill out all the time. You don't tell me what to chill. I chill you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Thank You That’s Not Required
Jessica Martin
I don't know if there's anything I could ever do to thank you.
Ryan
I do. Don't ever call me again.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Events and Unusual Facts
Chad
Dude, I have no idea what just happened. One minute I'm talking to nipples, next thing you know, I'm wearing a whale costume handing out flyers.
Ryan
That sucks. Sounds like she got you.
[laughs]
Chad
I mean, I'm not saying it doesn't have its benefits.
Chad
Hey, you guys know that a blue whale's got an 11-foot penis? Heal the Bay.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desperation for a Phone Charger
Ryan
Now who's gonna give me that goddamn charger?
[after shooting the number taker in the store]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Chad's Unconventional Introduction to Friends
Chad
Hey Chloe. Sam. Friend with nipples.
[greeting girls at the pier]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration with Unfortunate Situations
Chad
Ha ha - that sucks. No way! This sucks more!
[seeing Ryan with a box of fliers to pass out; Ryan shoves the box at him]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Human Body Blood Volume Explanation
Jessica Martin
Tenth grade biology. ]... pumps 30 liters of blood a minute. There's only five in the human body. I'm sorry.
[after slashing a kidnapper's arm with a shard of glass; [w:brachial artery|Brachial artery]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Over a Phone Dispute
WLSUU2 Lawyer
What the hell is your problem, man? What the hell is your problem? You want to tussle?
[after Ryan swerves his car in front of him]
Ryan
Give me your phone!
[pulls out his gun]
WLSUU2 Lawyer
Oh snaps.
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Willingness to Pay for Legal Assistance
WLSUU2 Lawyer
Okay, fine... I'm getting out my checkbook. Who do I make it out to? "Lady Who Sucks?
[trying to get his car out of the impound lot]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Cop's Warning About a Dangerous Criminal
Bob Mooney
It's alright I'm a cop! That's a very bad man!
[to shocked bystanders after beating up Dimitri]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration After Years of Endurance
Bob Mooney
27 years. 27 years without this shit!
[As he shoots someone for the first time in his entire career]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acknowledgment of Serious Predicament
Ryan
Oh, I am in deep trouble!
[after stealing the lawyer's car]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Dire Admission of Mortality
Ryan
I'm a dead man.
[after he views the tape]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Choosing a Location with Differing Opinions
Ryan
Santa Monica Pier.
[Ryan and Ethan are discussing a place to meet]
Ethan
No, too busy.
Ryan
Yeah, that's kind of the idea, dickhead.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Luxury Car and Personal Confession
WLSUU2 Lawyer
I'm tellin ya, I'm sitting in it right now. It's a brand new Porsche Carrera. The partners gave it to me. Mm-Hm, sugar. Brand new, arctic blue convertible. It goes zero to 60 in 5.2 seconds. Takes the girls panties down in 3.5 seconds. Hey, this is a private call. Get off my line! Mom, are you still there?
[Talking on his cell phone; Phone line gets suddenly disrupted by Jessica and Ryan]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Complexity of Parenting and Professional Roles
Ricky Martin
Mom, will you still be a science teacher when I get into high school?
Jessica Martin
Hmm... You never know. Why?
Ricky Martin
Cause I think it'd be kind of weird to have your mom as a teacher.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Urgent Call to Action
Ethan
Get outside now!
[learning that Jessica had escaped after she killed Mad Dog]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Threats and Consequences in a Tense Exchange
Ryan
Look, give me your phone or I shoot your car.
WLSUU2 Lawyer
Oh, hell no, hell no. Why would you want to do something awful like that?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Tense Encounter Between Friends
Ryan
It's Chloe!
Chad
No, dude, don't do this! Don't do this!
Ryan
I'm just gonna say "hi.
Chad
You're not gonna say "hi.
Ryan
No "hi"?
Chad
No "hi.
Ryan
I can't say...
Chad
Come on, man! Hold it together! This girl, she dumped you, all right? Have some self-respect, have some dignity!
[shouts]
Ryan
You're right.
Chad
Be strong.
Ryan
You're right.
Chad
Yeah.
Ryan
Thank you.
Chad
All right.
Chad
Oh! What's goin on, ladies?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication in the Search for a Person
Ethan
We found him yet?
[on walkie talkie]
Dmitri
No, I don't see him.
Ethan
He's the one on the cell phone, you idiot.
Dmitri
Everybody's on a cell phone.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Betrayal and Broken Promises in Crisis
Ryan
It doesn't make any sense, I give you the video, then you turn around and take us out.
Greer
I swore I wouldn't do that.
Ryan
Just like you swore "to protect and serve"?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inquiry About Possible Kidnapping
Bob Mooney
We had a report of a possible kidnapping. You haven't been kidnapped today, have you?
[Talking to the fake Jessica Martin; Chuckles]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Absence and Concern
Jessica Martin
When I didn't show up for work today someone called the police, I'm sure.
Greer
You better hope they didn't.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.